Rain
by The Moonlight's Marionette
Summary: He always hated the rain. The angry tears from heaven took out their vengence on him.It always seemed to rain when he cried. Or rather, he always seemed to cry...when it rained James/Male OC SLASH
1. Chapter 1

The sky was a mass of swirling grey and thunder rumbled faintly in the distance. It was raining. It had been raining for the past three days in a row- much to Gabriel's displeasure. It's soothing and calming qualities always failed to encourage feelings of tranquility in him like it did many others, so he closed his eyes for the entire journey.

The sleek, black car pulled up slowly to the parking lot at the train station. The young man inside stared miserably at the rain drops rolling down the tinted car window and sighed. The dark windows could not hide it. They never could. Looking out, he could see that large puddles had already begun to cover the ground.

The driver made no attempt to move, so they sat for minutes in silence, broken only by the patter of the rain on the metal roof.

"We could use a charm to get you on the train. All the muggles seem to be sheltering or distracted by it. I'm sure no one will notice," the driver offered.

Gabriel sighed. "It's much too risky, but thank you for offering. The umbrella will just have to do."

The boy pressed his eyes with the palms of his hands and inhaled, leaning forward until his long black hair covered his eyes when his hands fell to his knees.

"Gabriel…"

"I'll be alright, Artemis," he whispered to the tired, blue eyes surveying him in the mirror. They scrutinized him for one second more before closing in surrender.

Gabriel ran his fingers through his hair and tugged at the cuffs of his shirt idly, dreading having to leave the familiar warmth to brave the chill and pouring water outside.

The gleaming door at the front opened with a click and out stepped an aged man, holding an unusually large, black umbrella.

He promptly opened the door at the rear for the young man. A well polished black, leather shoe is seen first, before long fingers slide out and grip the sides for support. The tall boy emerged and stepped precisely under the umbrella that the man was holding.

He brushed off his fine silk shirt and looked around with distaste.

"Thank you, Artemis." He took the umbrella from the man as he started pulling his contents from the trunk of the car.

Pursing his lips, he carefully tip-toed over the puddles to stand by the man called Artemis. The man handed him his belongings and looked at him proudly.

"Good luck sir," he said, placing a hand on his shoulder and checking is amber eyes for any sign of panic.

Gabriel gave him a small smile. "How many times have I told you not to call me sir?"

"About as many times as I've called you it, sir," Artemis replied smiling.

"You know how I feel about that," he groused quietly.

"Yes I know young master but-"

Artemis suddenly stopped talking and began coughing violently. Gabriel dropped his trunk and was at his guardian's side in an instant.

"Artemis! Are you all right?" He had one trembling hand across the man's chest for support but the other clutched the umbrella ever firmly.

"Quite fine," he wheezed, "just a cough."

"Are you sure?" Gabriel asked in a broken voice, offering the older man his handkerchief.

"Yes, yes. Nothing to fuss over." Artemis took it gratefully and muffled another cough.

Gabriel reluctantly let go of him when he moved to stand but studied his face.

"Are you absolutely certain it's nothing?"

"Yes. I'm afraid I've been out in the rain too long," he lied.

Artemis smiled reassuringly until Gabriel seemed satisfied and turned away.

Gabriel quickly acquired a trolley from the stack and though he protested avidly against it, Artemis helped him.

"Will you be returning home for the holidays?" He asked as Gabriel was ready to go.

Gabriel smiled halfheartedly.

"Yes. I will…see you at Christmas," he said quietly, studying the white cloth that hung from between his closed hand.

Before he could protest, Artemis closed the gap between them and pulled him into a tight hug. He was shocked by the man's sudden show of affection, as he had never done it before. He tensed up slightly but he retuned it fully with understanding.

"Good bye, Master Gabriel," he whispered into his ear.

Gabriel nearly flinched at the sound of his name; the name that Artemis had never once used before. It stabbed him like a knife to his heart to hear it whispered now.

It took all his strength to fight back the quiver on his lips. Nothing good ever came when it rained. "Goodbye, Artemis."

When he pulled away, he could not bring himself to look the man in the eye. He knew he would regret it but he was never good in situations like this. He turned his back and walked away slowly, not daring to look back.

"Don't worry sir! I'm sure the rain will stop soon!" He heard Artemis yell behind him. He raised a hand with a quick and last glance over his shoulder.

Artemis waved at the boy that he had raised from a child and smiled. He couldn't help the swelling feeling that rose in his chest. His boy had grown up, and even though he wasn't his son, he loved him like it.

He looked forlornly at the white handkerchief and frowned. He carefully folded it and pocketed it, hiding away the red stain that would tear them apart.


	2. September 1st

Gabriel slowly trudged through the rain, even though his trunk was getting wet and his trolley was starting to skid on the wet concrete.

He passed platform after platform in a kind of haze, until he reached platforms nine and ten, and the familiar brick wall that separated them- and unknown to muggles- lead to platform nine and three quarters.

He sighed quietly. It would be the last time that he would ever come here to board the Hogwarts express. Strangely, he had no feelings about it. Neither good nor bad. It was just one of the many things that would come to an end, this being his seventh and final year.

No more measuring for school robes or fussing over the numerous school supplies and books. _The maids_ _should_ _be happy_, he thought dryly, but would he?

His fingers tightened around the smooth, wooden handle of the umbrella. The steady streams of drizzles were developing into a downpour. He held the handle of the trolley with unnecessary force. It would take some maneuvering on his part to keep both the umbrella and the cart steady, but if it came to the worst, he figured he could live without his clothes and school supplies.

With an intake of breath, he rushed forward at the solid brick wall. He was hit with the force of the rushing wind driving the water against his face and matting his hair to his head but he didn't have time to worry about it.  
_  
Get through it. Get through it_, he repeated in his mind. He was only inches away. At first glance, it would have looked as though he had slammed face first into the wall, but his trolley slid through easily with him behind it.

When Gabriel slowed himself to a stop on the other side, he finally closed the battered umbrella. The scarlet engine seemed shrouded, mostly due to the billowing smoke that encircled it and the mist from the rain.

The wind ripped at his chest through his light and slightly damp shirt. He grabbed his trunk and lugged it on the train without waiting, pushing through several parents who braved the rain to say their goodbyes to their children. Some of them muttered angrily at his rudeness but he made it point not to look at those pathetic people.

A wave or warmth hit him when he entered the train. He welcomed it fully as he lazily dragged his trunk through the corridor to find a compartment. Not really an empty one, as they were all partly empty, but one with people that didn't annoy him. Most students wouldn't be returning this year, he guessed, considering everything that was happening. He had insisted to return to school for his final year. What did he have to fear? Let the cowards stay home. _Like that could be safer._ _At least the school should be quieter_, he thought grimly. The train gave a jolt and he steadied himself, it was finally moving.

"Gabriel!" A girl's voice shouted his name, causing him to stop and look around. His friend Pricilla was waving at him madly from a compartment he had passed. He turned around and made his way in the opposite direction to join her. She would just come after him anyway if he didn't.

"What's the matter? You look a bit weather-worn," she asked, smiling widely and staring curiously at his disheveled appearance. She reached out a hand to brush his shoulder but instantly withdrew it and cleared her throat.

"I'm fine," Gabriel replied while looking past her and into the compartment. Severus Snape sat, a book in his lap but his eyes glazed, obviously not reading.

"Lo Severus," he greeted politely. He wouldn't exactly call Severus a friendly person, but they got along pretty well. They shared a dorm from the time they were eleven, but Severus usually kept to himself. This suited Gabriel well because he wasn't much of a talkative person himself, but over the years, he had garnered a form of respect for the silent Slytherin.

When Severus did talk to him, Gabriel found that he was actually a very intelligent person and after a while- Severus would disagree- he saw them as friends.

Severus merely gave him a small nod in acknowledgement and returned to staring into space.

Gabriel frowned. He had hoped Severus' mood would have at least improved over the summer. But, it obviously hadn't, which meant that _incident_ still bothered him.

He tossed his dark hair out of his eyes and side-stepped Pricilla to put away his trunk, missing the way her smile instantly faded. He sat down in the seat opposite Severus and slid into a comfortable position, searching for something to say to improve the mood up his unfriendly friend. The rain pounded against the window but he did his best to ignore it.

He opened his mouth but didn't get time to say something as he was dragged up forcefully by his elbow.

"Shit, Gabriel! Don't sit, we have to go," Pricilla said frantically, dragging him out and leading up to the front of the train. "I forgot about the meeting!"

He sighed wearily and watched her brown hair swaying in front of him. He had wanted to chat with Severus but he had completely forgotten about the badge that demanded he 'associate' with certain idiots.

When they finally reached the designated compartment, Pricilla dragged open the door loudly, earning stares from the numerous pairs of eyes. "What are you all gaping at?" she demanded fiercely. Gabriel always thought she had a terrible temper for such an attractive girl. Her round face, blue eyes and thin lips made her look innocent, but everyone knew she was far from. Her temper was explosive

"Ahh, _Monte_. Finally decided to show up have you," James said coolly, looking up from a long piece of parchment.

_Great. This is just what I need_, he thought miserably.

Gabriel immediately straightened himself up and glared at the boy.

Oh how he hated him, from his ridiculous sticky hair to his large feet. James Potter had always been an annoyance to him since their first year by just being alive. He hated every inch of his skinny, narcissistic arse and his over-inflated ego which had only increased with passing years.

"Planter," he said in a bored tone, examining the room. "My name is pronounced Monté, and I hadn't been aware that we had a schedule."

"Well, that's not surprising. You aren't aware of many things are you, _Monte_." James stressed the mispronunciation of his name and sneered at the flash of irritation on his face. "And the name is Potter."

"Well I'm certainly aware that you're a thick headed wanker," Gabriel said coolly, fixing the collar of his shirt while watching James' expression.

"Why you great piece of-"

"James!" Lily scolded immediately, finally speaking up from her place beside him, her head girl badge gleaming importantly on her chest. "You're head boy now, stop acting immature."

Gabriel watched as James bristled at her annoyed tone directed at him. "What! He started it, not me. He called me… a Planter. You all saw it right?" James looked expectantly to the other prefects that were in the room but they just looked at him as if he was crazy.

Lily raised an eyebrow at his open mouth until he closed it with a sigh and pushed his glasses further up his nose with his index finger.

"Please have a seat…er…"

"Gabriel. Gabriel Monté," he replied slowly, still gaping at the way Lily Evans affected Potter to the point of submission.

"Okay Gabriel, sit down so we can continue," she said kindly while flashing him a smile. There were two seats free by the window where he and Pricilla were supposed to sit. Pricilla plopped down quite huffily and her body looked rigid.

Gabriel sat down after and tried his best to look attentive while giving James a smug look. James took a deep breath and carried out roll call for all the prefects (Gabriel's name was mysteriously left out). He and Lily then took turns in explaining the different duties of the prefects.

Gabriel kept nodding his head at intervals and did a great job of pretending to be interested, but they might as well have been talking about prefects having to shower once a week to conserve water to bathe Hippogriffs on the weekends. He didn't hear a word.

Inside his mind a plan was forming. Planter seemed like Lily Evans, and though many people didn't know it, Severus did too. When Severus and Lily had their spat, he became even more sour and irritable if it was even possible, but more than that, it really upset him.

Gabriel looked at his knees and allowed his lips to curve upwards, not noticing Pricilla watching him out of the corner of her eyes. This could prove interesting.

They droned on for what felt like an eternity and Gabriel studied Evans' face for a while. Admittedly, she was nice looking with her smooth skin and green eyes. He'd give her a six out of ten.

"Okay that's all. You may all go now and don't forget. Being a prefect is an honor, so please don't abuse your privileges and be ethical in every decision you make." Lily smiled warmly as everyone filed out. James stood behind her, still looking flustered.

"I'll be right there Pricilla, go on with without me," Gabriel whispered through barely moving lips at her curious glance. After looking at him for a moment, she got up without a word and walked out.

It was time to put plan 'Pudding-free' into action. He had wanted to name it plan 'Destroying Planter most heinously and viciously because he's a prick and he stole my bloody pudding in first year,' but he felt it didn't quite do it justice.

He stood up slowly, giving his hair a tussle. Planter was outside talking to another prefect but no doubt waiting for Evans to annoy the living daylights out of her in the short walk to her compartment. He made sure to cough loudly to capture his attention.

"Er, Lily?"

Lily turned around and smiled. "Yes?"

He smiled shyly while looking at the ground. "I er…I just wanted to thank you for sticking up for me today. It was very kind of you." He faked a nervous laugh and kept his eyes on the ground when he felt her eyes on him.

"That's alright. I know how Potter can be sometimes, believe me," she said with a laugh. She was one cheerful person wasn't she? He gave a short laugh and then looked up at her, slowly meeting her eyes. He heard her hold her breath from his close proximity and he flashed her, what he would like to think, was his most charming and wide smile in the history of his life. He had a feeling his face would hurt tomorrow from the strain.

"Well, I'll see you around then," he said after a moments pause. He lowered his head again and walked past her to see Planter glaring at him from by the door. Oh, yes, revenge was indeed sweet.

He was still in Evans' range of view so he remained silent. He sneered at James and watched the veins throb in his neck. Clearly, if his veins could speak they would definitely curse him into a million pieces.

Gabriel walked confidently back to his compartment, leaving behind a stunned Lily and an irate James. He also missed the throttling gestures that James was making with his curled fingers.

He slid open the compartment doors. Pricilla and Severus both raised eyebrows at his smug look but it was gone in a flash. It was replaced with excitement mixed with delight at the mound of treats that lay in a bag in his seat.

Immediately, he rushed and picked it up, rummaging through the sack of sweet goodness. "Those things will kill you," Severus said indifferently.

"Thank you."

"Oh, not me, blame Pricilla for your untimely demise."

"Cilla, you shouldn't have," he said happily without looking up at her. A smile softened her features.

"Don't be silly. I know how much you love sweets. By the time I got here, the food cart was already here. I knew you would miss it, so I bought them for you." She stared at him going through the sweets like a child on Christmas day. She would have gladly bought him all the bags in the world, just to hear him call her a pet name like that.

"Gabriel, sit down like a human would you," she teased. He sat beside her, unwrapping caramel after caramel and throwing them into his mouth without hesitation.

Pricilla merely smiled beside him, watching him close his eyes to savor every creamy chocolate. He opened his eyes and they caught Severus, once again, book in lap but not reading.

He slowly pulled out a small chocolate wrapped in pink paper. He bit into it, bursting the middle flowing with pink filling and grimaced. "Yuck, I hate this flavor." He spat it out, wiped his mouth and stood up.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. Gabriel, where are you going?" Pricilla asked shrilly.

"I need to get a chocolate to replace this one. Do you think the food lady got far?"

"But you've got a whole bag!" Severus said, actually looking surprised.

"No, I'm sure she has to stop a lot more. I'll do it for you," Pricilla offered meekly.

Before he could say no, she whipped out past him and down the corridor. He smiled to himself and sat down, finally having Severus alone. He popped the strawberry that he had spat out back into his mouth. Like he could ever hate a chocolate, he scoffed inwardly. Pricilla should have known better.

From the moment he came back, his 'plan' weighed heavily on his mind when he looked at Severus. He thought about not telling him but that would be disastrous if he were to find out. Telling him could also be unwise as Severus might be hesitant to use Lily, even if it was a plan to get back at Planter. Although he wouldn't exactly call what he was doing 'using' her, but everyone has their opinions.

He took a deep breath. "Severus?"

"Yes?"

"I have something to tell you."

Severus looked up at him curiously. "What is it?" he drawled.

"James Potter."

Severus growled like a feral animal and narrowed his eyes. He looked quite scary and Gabriel would have been a little frightened if he made a sudden move.

"Good. Now that we've got that out of the way, let's move on. We both hate him, do we not? We both wish for him to wake up with hot coals in his pants, do we not?"

Severus looked confused.

"He's a common problem to both of us and I have a plan…to get back at him."

Severus' eyes lit up. Gabriel expected to see conflict on his features but instead, Severus looked positively thrilled. "What is it?"

Gabriel hesitated. It would be tricky to work Evans into it effectively without offending him, but he had to try.

"Potter is arrogant, he's full of himself, and to the untrained eye, he would seem virtually untouchable. But he's not. He has a weakness. His one debilitating flaw. Lily Evans."

Gabriel whispered her name but he had the feeling that Severus would hear it even if someone whispered it during a quidditch match from fifty feet in the air. Not that his hearing was _that_ good, he was just crazy like that.

"What?!"

He started to look murderous so Gabriel carried on quickly, but choosing his words carefully.

"Look I know she was your friend and it's…it's a shame what happened but think about it this way. Potter gets annoyed whenever someone even stands next to her. He would probably have a heart attack if she started to be friends with someone he hated. Especially me of all people."

He took a breath when Severus didn't look ready to pounce anymore.

"He will become jealous and more stupid than usual. He'll do all sorts of brainless things and Lily will start to get fed up with him. She'll realize what an idiot he is and he'll have no chance. Not that he has one now, but it's better to be safe than sorry." Gabriel inhaled and leaned forward to Severus as if conducting an extremely secretive business deal.

"And without him buzzing around and being a pest to her, it would be a right bit easier for an old _friend_ to redeem himself, _and_, she'll have more time. Time to think about the things she doesn't have anymore. The people she misses. Decisions she might have made too hastily. And with a handsome Slytherin putting in a word for said _friend _all the while, I'll say that'll improve his chances."

Severus had looked outraged at first, but his expression slowly changed into thoughtfulness (though still a little outraged). Gabriel could see the conflict now, readable on his face like an open book. A rare sight.

Whatever his answer or thoughts would have been, he didn't have the time to discuss them because Pricilla had returned. Gabriel tried to convey a look that meant 'we'll talk later' but judging from the way Severus raised an eyebrow, he may have just looked constipated.

"Here, I found you a lollipop instead," she said brightly, shoving it into his hand.

"Thank you," he replied.

Even though Pricilla was their friend, Severus was a very private person. There were some things he just didn't want people to know. Gabriel could relate. He knew Severus better than anyone could imagine. He wasn't even aware if Severus himself knew. Because when the nights were cold, and long, and unbearable, he wasn't the only one up, unable to sleep, mourning lost treasure.

Pricilla stretched and cast her blue eyes out the window and sighed dreamily. "I can't believe this is the last time we'll ever be aboard this express," she said softly.

"You, who always complain about wanting to be finished with school, is sad about it," Gabriel said skeptically.

"We'll, there're certain things I'll miss," she replied in the same quiet voice not taking her eyes off him.

"Oh? Like what?" Gabriel smacked his lips around the lollipop and looked at her.

Pricilla flushed and looked at her knees. "Things that I've grown accustomed to, people that I've become used to seeing everyday…What about you Gabriel? Won't you miss it?"

Would he miss it? He hadn't even given thought to what he wanted to be when school was over. It was just one of those things that seemed far away only to sneak up on you. School was easy. School was- minus the loads of homework and rules, and depending on what you did- fun. But it wasn't permanent. Their petty priorities would have to shift when they went out in the real world. School sheltered them, but not forever. He supposed he would miss it. It had been a part of his life for seven years.

Pricilla looked to him expectantly as if waiting for something. Severus was rigid. He had been silent the whole time though Gabriel noticed the way his fingers gripped the book and his eyes focused on one spot.

He exhaled and gave a short nod. "Yes, I will. For some, Hogwarts is like a home. A place to look forward to coming. Leaving it… will be hard for some. But I'm sure it'll be alright. There is always somewhere for us."

Severus' knuckles turned white from the pressure he was applying to the book and Gabriel smirked. Pricilla looked awe-struck and Gabriel casually popped the lollipop back into his mouth in a self-satisfied manner. His friend would be okay, but every time he looked at him, he thought of Lily. And every time he thought of Lily, Planter's face appeared. And when he saw that face he would growl.

The rest of the journey past quickly, much to Gabriel's pleasure. He spent it eating sweets, patrolling the corridors with Pricilla at periodic intervals and trying not to look at the sheets of water cascading down the windows. Would it never end! Severus or 'Mr. Zombie' as he now appropriately named him was annoyingly quiet and Pricilla kept shooting him what she obviously believed to be furtive glances. He made a note to explain what furtive meant to her at a later occasion.

The train screeched to a halt at the Hogsmeade station and Gabriel watched as the rain still drizzled against the window as he slipped into his robes. Severus lethargically closed the unread book and sighed. Pricilla had already changed and was fixing his sleeves that she insisted, were ruffled.

Severus grabbed the cage with his owl and exited first, no doubt to catch as many glimpses of Lily as he could. Gabriel dragged down his trunk and pulled it, Pricilla following closely behind him. They patrolled the train as instructed to make sure everyone got their belongings together and were off the train before it left.

The chilly night air assaulted his face as soon as he stepped out. He heard Pricilla shivering beside him. "I'm freezing," she said through chattering teeth. "Look, there's Severus by an empty carriage, come on."

Gabriel adjusted his green and silver scarf around his neck and followed Pricilla. When they reached the carriage he held out a hand to help her climb in. She smiled gratefully and slid into the dark interior.

Something caught Gabriel's eye and he held out a gloved hand without having to look around. The winged horse nuzzled his hand, its lifeless eyes showing no reflection. "Hello my friend," he whispered, "we meet again."


	3. Chapter 3

James dragged his feet purposely as he ran his fingers along the smooth surface of the inside of the train. Finding something to do with his hands was the first sign of impending boredom. Next, he would probably check for amusing reflections of himself in random items.

He checked compartment after compartment, doing the final sweep for anyone that might have been left behind. In a spur of the moment decision to impress Lily, he had offered to do this task and save her the trouble. She had protested to him doing it by himself, a suspicious glint in the corner of her eyes concerning his motives, but she had ultimately given in and he had inwardly done the happy dance.

Usually, he and the others would be together right now, but he had to let them go on without him. After all, duty called didn't it. He sighed loudly.

It wasn't like he wasn't glad that he had been given this 'wondrous and most unexpected gift' as Sirius had called it when he told him, but it was already starting to feel like a chore; a very taxing and time consuming chore. The elation of being Head Boy with Lily as Head Girl was very slowly starting to ware off.

Would this cut down on the time that he and the others spent together between classes and on weekends? Would it interfere with his concentration for Quidditch?  
_  
Great. Put the guy who breaks the rules to make sure others don'.  
_  
"Anyone in here?" he called in a bored voice, more out of responsibility than anything else.

There was no answer but he swore he heard a noise in the back. He craned his neck round to the side and strained his ear for the faintest sound.

"Hello?"… "Anyone?"

Still no answer. He shrugged it off and turned around to leave when there was a loud crash.

He sprinted halfway down the corridor to a door that was open slightly and looked inside. A small boy was sprawled out on the floor with his trunk lying beside him at an odd angle.

James figured it probably fell out off the over head compartment when the boy was trying to extract it himself. He was still miffed that the boy didn't answer when he called out though. Seriously, who does that?

"You alright?" James extended his hand. "Come on, I'll help you up."

"Thanks."

"Small aren't you," James said patting the boy on his head and sneering. The boy barely reached his stomach when he stood next to him. James wondered idly if he was ever that tiny.

The boy smacked away his hand indignantly. "Hey! I'll have you know that I'm already fourteen years old," he said loudly, his thin blonde hair standing on edge. He reminded him of a cat, with that I-didn't-bring-that-carcass-of-a-dead-mouse-in-your-room fake innocent look and those easily extended claws when cornered.

"Yeah, yeah. Calm down." James waved him away like an annoying fly, watching him struggle with his trunk while he casually propped on the door.

"You should be thankful I came. I don't suppose you'd have this much mouth if you were halfway back home right now would you," James teased.

To James' annoyance, the boy merely glared at him. _Ungrateful brat_. _How dare he not be intimidated_? "Come on." James pushed up off the wall and started out.

"Wait you! Aren't you going to help me with this?"

James continued walking. "Why? I didn't tell you to pack your entire house in it did I?"

"Please?" he begged and put on an extremely innocent face with wide, watery eyes and a quivering lip.

"No," James said firmly. His act was good but not good enough.

"Please, it's really heavy and I can't lift it on my own. What kind of Head Boy are you. Aren't you supposed to help others?" He pleaded in a whiny voice.

James took the blow and they stared each other down in a battle of wills.

After a minute, James rolled his eyes but gave in and helped him out. It just wasn't in him to leave the kid hanging, even though he didn't miss the self-satisfied smirk on the little bugger's face when he realized James had caved in.

"What's in this anyway?" James complained when he bent down to lift it. It was definitely heavier than usual.

"Uh…" the boy scratched his head and smiled. "Just some…stuff"

"Stuff you say?"

"Yup. Stuff. To get back at those stupid prats that eased me my own sleeping draught," he said bitterly. James had a feeling he wasn't supposed ti hear the last part and laughed_. I remember when Sirius did that to me in out second year_. "You'd have to be a real idiot to fall for that."

The boy bristled. "I am not. My uncle is a teacher here you know. I can do pretty much whatever I want at this school," he boasted.

James scoffed. "If you can do whatever you want then why don't _you_ carry this stupid trunk? Who is your uncle anyway?"

The boy smiled smugly and winked his blue eyes. He deliberately let the moment drag out until they stepped off the train. He reminded James at himself at that age, and he certainly didn't lack that mischievous look.

"Professor Slughorn."

A look of surprise crossed James' face at first but quickly erased the look to intentionally deflate the moment. "Professor Slughorn you say?" he asked indifferently.

"Yeah." The boy looked rather put out now, like he just spent hours inflating a balloon only to have it popped in his face.

"What's your name?"

"Charlie."

"How come I've never seen you before?"

"Who knows four eyes," he replied rudely, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking over his shoulder.

"Oi, watch the lip," James warned mildly, dragging the heavy trunk and throwing it into a carriage. James smiled to himself; he definitely had the last laugh. How pointless that was considering this was a small child, he tried not to think about.

He pointed to his badge but Charlie looked completely unfazed. "Ha! Fat load a good that'll do ya. I see you and your mates sneaking around the castle at night."

James smile faded. "What?"

Charlie laughed, "You're just as bad as the rest of us."

"Wait, how do you know what we do at night? Not saying that we do...do anything of course…"

Charlie gave him another sly wink. Apparently his good mood was back. "Don't worry. I wont tell anyone. But if you ever need help, don't hesitate to ask. We've got to stick together."

"Right, I'll do that," James said dryly, choosing to end their little conversation, though he was till curious as to what they were.

"Hey, I'm serious!" he heard Charlie shout from behind him when he turned away and started walking.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered.

"Prongs."

James turned around. How did that kid know his name?

"Prongs. Over here!"

It wasn't the boy; it was Sirius calling him over. James wrapped his cloak tighter and smiled. His smile however slipped momentarily when he saw none other than Monte, standing there with his hand out in mid-air.

He couldn't stop the scowl that came across his face but he succeeded in ignoring him. He wouldn't let that idiot ruin his first day, but it was hard seeing that the prick lived to annoy him.

Ever since their first encounter in second year, they had just continued to collide like two crashing waves going in opposite directions. They were also some little accidents that happened to James that he suspected were planned out. Too precise to be coincidental, and for some mysterious reason, Monte was always the first person he saw or the one person his eyes would land on amidst it all.

He shook his head and scattered those thoughts. Monte wasn't important- his revenge on the posh Slytherin would be- but not right now.

He inhaled and replaced his smile. "Sirius, I didn't know you were still here."

In truth, he was grateful that they had decided to stay and wait for him. Remus and Peter were both inside the carriage, smiling madly. Sirius draped his arm casually over James' shoulder.

"What? And leave the Head Boy to fend for himself and endure the cruelty of a lonely ride. Never. Come on, your carriage awaits your highness." He shoved James inside and then climbed in.

"Shit, padfoot, do you have to be so rough?"

James rubbed the knee that had collided with the carriage wall.

"I'm so sorry your highness." Sirius pretended to bow. "I'll be more cautious in the future.

"Cut it out," James mumbled uncomfortably.

Across from them, Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius. "I'd say the odds of that are slim."

"I still can't believe our very own prongs is head boy," Peter said loudly, "and here I was looking forward to some fun."

"Well, James has responsibilities this year," Remus said quietly.

"Yes, we know Mr. moony." Sirius shook his head and tousled his wavy hair, grinning mischievously. "But like wormtail, over there, I was looking forward to some good ol' maraudering too."

"Maraudering isn't a word, Sirius," Remus corrected idly.

Sirius shrugged. "Oh? Well, in the world of Sirius Black, it is."

"As are a lot of other interesting things I'm sure."

"Yeah, including a giant teddy bear I like to call moony."

Remus looked uncomfortable and focused his gaze outside. Peter and Sirius sniggered and whispered among themselves. James coughed loudly but no one paid him any attention. He smiled to himself. He wouldn't compromise time with the marauders for anything at all.

He only had a badge but what did that really say. As far as he was concerned, it only gave him a reason to be outside after hours and an excuse to top it off.

The carriage rocked gently as it steadily approached the castle. The lights looked extremely bright and silhouetted the sprawling castle against the black sky.

When it slowed to a stop and they climbed out. Remus stretched his long legs and arms. Now that James thought about it, he did look rather fragile.

"Feeling alright Remus?"

Sirius came close to inspect him when he heard James' question. "You do look kinda pale." James automatically glanced up at the sky but the thin layer of grey clouds revealed nothing. "I don't think the full moon's near."

"That's right." Sirius felt his forehead. "You're burning up."

Remus jerked his head away quickly. "Er…I'm fine. Must be a cold. There's been a lot of rain lately."

Sirius shrugged, accepting Remus' answer but James felt that something else was bothering him. Seven years in close proximity with him made him an expert of sorts. Sirius, of course, didn't notice because Sirius was well… Sirius and would ask him if he were all right if he happened to be on fire.

"Well alright men, lets move along shall we?" Sirius led the way.

They all nodded and followed the rest of students filing in to the Great Hall.

The Great Hall as always, looked stunning for the start of year feast, but it seemed more intense when James looked around. He pushed his glasses further up his nose. Everything seemed so bright and new, or maybe he was just now taking the time to really look at it. He couldn't explain it but a strange feeling hit him so hard, he had to stop dead in his tracks.

Thousands of candles floated above them warming the room with yellow light. All the golden dinner ware caught the light and shone. When he finally closed his mouth, he realized he'd been staring.

But why?

It was like he was back in his first year, entering the school for the very first time and being completely in awe at the grandness of it all. After that it just seemed to be there. Always there. Strange that he should feel the same way his first time seeing it and his… _My what? My last time…  
_  
"Come on James, you're acting like you've never been here before," Peter called. "I've saved you a seat." He and the others had already taken seats at the table. James finally closed his mouth and slid in beside him.

Peter yawned. "I'm starving," he said in a whiney voice. "The sorting always takes so long."

"I don't think that's the problem, Pete," James teased, glad that he had something else to focus his attention on.

"Yeah, I think it has more to do with that bottomless pit of a stomach you have," Sirius added, shifting around.

"Who knew someone so small could eat so much? He eats more than Sirius does."

"I'm not that small." Peter rested his head on the table. Remus gave him a sympathetic look but was more concerned with the little movement Sirius was making beside him than anything else.

James was a little surprised. He sounded a bit serious. Sirius patted Peter on the head and a picture of the boy from earlier flashed in his head. Small people were really defensive. He snorted.

"What?" Sirius demanded, hating to be left out of anything potentially funny.

"Nothing."

Dumbledore rose from his seat, his green robes sweeping the floor, the gold stars that littered it danced. He raised his hands and everyone fell into silence. Everyone except Sirius that is.

"James." Sirius whispered urgently. "James!"

"Sirius, I think it's my duty to tell you that I should probably be listening to what Dumbledore is saying."

"No need to worry, Moony'll tell us."

"No I won't," Remus whispered from the corner of his mouth.

"Yes you will," Sirius whispered back harshly. Remus narrowed his eyes.

"I've been thinking, you know this year being our last, how about we go out with a bang."

"Bang?"

The dreaded glint that inhabited Sirius' eyes was back and glinting like there was no tomorrow. It was a dangerous thing James reminded himself. It was responsible for three quarters of the time he spent in detention.

"Well not literally of course." Sirius scoffed and waved it away.

"Yeah because that's so inconceivable," James muttered rolling his eyes.

"It is. At first I thought that you being head snitch would be a problem-"

"But when I first told you, you said it was a wonderful gift."

"but-"

"But what?"

"But I see now that it could work to out advantage-"

"-wait, head what?"

"I mean, it could really aid in our cause-"

"No Padfoot, James has to uphold the rules now," Remus hissed inconspicuously.

"This from the bloke who was running around with us even though he was supposed to be a 'holier than thou' prefect?" Peter chimed in with a smirk.

Sirius' mouth spread into a gigantic smile. Remus completely ignored them and focused on the sorting of the first years. Sirius and Peter looked pleased with themselves and even James smiled.

"So, what do you say prongs," Peter whispered, giving him a pleading. He and Charlie really were familiar, James thought. James wrung his fingers and looked for an excuse to give them. "Er…well." He scratched his head.

"Well…" Sirius prompted impatiently.

He got away with mischief in the past but would it work now? His eyes caught a glimpse of Lily who was sitting a couple of seats away. She was depending on him to set some sort of example… of some sort. Honestly the whole thing confused him. He could pretend to. What she didn't know couldn't hurt her.

James opened his mouth to give his answer when the hall suddenly erupted in voices. The feast had begun, the golden plates were now filled with food and everyone was eating. Sirius pulled a plate of mashed potatoes toward him and started eating wildly. James breathed a sigh of relief and piled an enormous amount of food on his plate.

Remus barely picked at his food, merely re- arranging his vegetable by colour. He ate a lot of vegetables to keep healthy but he still looked rather weak. James tilted his head, _well weaker that usual I suppose. I'll have to remember to have a talk with him.  
_  
James' eyes strayed down the table to Lily. She was chatting idly with her friends. He found himself staring at her and the way her nose crinkled up when she ate. For some reason he always found himself staring at her. Not for _some _reason but the _main_ reason- which was that he was, to put it mildly, obsessed.

Sirius flicked a pea at his glasses to get his attention. "Padfoot, there are more civilized ways to get my attention you know."

"Don't think you've gotten away mate, I think I know the reason for this new change in ideals, and that reason has red hair and-" Sirius was talking and jabbing at him with his fork when he suddenly broke off and threw it over the table. It landed near James foot.

"James, uh, could you hand me that, please?"

James eyed him skeptically. "Sirius, you threw that over here."

"It was an accident, now could you please get it for me?"

Sirius was smiling strangely, it could almost be considered a grimace and Remus' head was stuck looking to his left. When Sirius grabbed the back of Remus neck and turned it to face forward forcefully, James finally realized that they were staring at something and looked around.

His eyes landed on Lily as they always did. Her chin was propped on her hands and she wasn't eating. She waved at someone sitting at the table behind them. His eyes must be playing tricks on him.

Lily couldn't possibly be waving to someone over there. That was the Slytherin table behind them.

"James, the fork. I'll starve."

Who could Lily possibly…

"James, I'm beginning to think you don't care about me," Sirius persisted, nudging Remus in his side for his lack of effort. Peter hadn't looked up from his plate.

"Look! It's a rogue bludger!" Sirius shouted. Peter snorted and James ignored him.

James tried to be as discreet as possible. He bent down and pretended to pick up the fork, while scanning the Slytherin table.

At first he thought it was Snivellus, because he always tried to get Lily's attention. But he realized that Snape was staring at someone else, the same someone who was pretending to eat but obviously sending little looks and smiles her way. And she was sending them back!

James inhaled and calmly handed Sirius his fork back. Sirius hesitated before he reached for it, half afraid that James would skewer him with it, but to his surprise, James only continued eating.

"Er…James," Remus bent his head to look at James' face. "Prongs?"

"Yes, Moony?" James was cutting into his steak with his knife at an agonizingly slow rate, and Remus and Sirius exchanged looks.

"Are you all right?" Peter asked. He put some space between them when James sawed through the meat and started scrapping the plate.

"Of course."

"This is entirely your fault you know," Sirius complained, pointing his fork at Remus. "Just sat there and stared. Honestly."

"Oh shut up Sirius, like you throwing your fork over there was a good idea in the first place. That was what made him look."

"At least it was an idea and it could have worked. Now look at him." Sirius motioned with his head.

James was still carving into his plate, looking perfectly civilized even though the knife was grating against the plate loudly.

"When do you think he'll notice the steak's not there anymore?"

"Shut up, Sirius."

"You like saying that don't you?"

"I'll stop. It doesn't seem to be working."

"I told you both that I'm fine," James said slowly, setting the knife and fork aside. His brain understood that he was talking but for the life of him his senses couldn't react. Of course he had to have been dreaming just now. Yes, a dream. What other possible explanation could there be? He laughed, a small chuckle at first until he broke down laughing, shaking his head at his nonsense.

"Great, he's gone mad now."

The plates disappeared and the table was filled with desserts. James passed on it. Mostly because sweet things gave him migraines, but he had surprisingly lost his appetite.

"And it has nothing to do with that self righteous git smiling at Lily."

"Look, James, I don't think you should make such a big deal about this," Remus said soothingly. "It's probably just a friendly gesture."

Everyone nodded in consent eagerly. James's strange behavior was more disturbing than if he was actually shouting. This was something new to them. Lily usually kept to herself. There was never 'someone' of the opposite sex she paid special attention to other than Snape, and that was the past.

James was so jealous now that he was forgetting to shout.

"James, what are you thinking," Remus asked hesitantly, afraid his comment might have driven James over the deep end.

James turned his head slightly and glanced behind him at the long haired boy holding over a whole chocolate cake and slowly turned back to look at them. Remus flinched at the manic look in his eyes.

He adjusted his glasses on his nose and kept his voice so low it leaked venom. "Nothing much Sirius. Just how'd I'd like to go out with a bang and who I'd like to be on the receiving end."


	4. Chapter 4

The night had been a quiet and clear one, but throughout the course of early morning, it had begun to rain. Not a being a very heavy sleeper, the boy's eyes opened as soon as the drops began pattering against his bedroom window. He pulled the red and blue blanket under his chin and rolled over to his side, squeezing his eyes shut.

The chill that the rain brought crept in through the parts of the blanket that were not tucked under him, and he shivered. He curled himself into a ball and tried to relax, but he just couldn't get back to sleep now that he was already wide awake.

Throwing off the blanket and sitting up, he glanced quickly at the bedside clock. It read 3:45 am. The plush carpet beneath his bare feet felt warm and he curled his toes around the fibers and rubbed his feet against it until they burned from the friction.

His eyes traveled around the… of his large room. The creamy butter color on his walls looked pale blue in the semi-darkness. Bordering the room, just under the ceiling, was a pattern of boats sailing on the ocean.

He had many toys, some he played with and others he just had because they looked fun and he wanted to try them. He got bored with them very quickly and they often found themselves fraying and catching dust in a far corner of his room, never to be looked at again but to be replaced by new ones. All of his furniture, including his bed, dresser and a writing table and chair, were pearl white.

The room was loud; everything in it was stressed to the point of being forced, but how better to drown out un-wanted noise than to have something louder, more forceful, to serve as a colorful distraction.

The square of light with little black dots spattering across the wall held his attention and he padded across the room to draw the long curtains close, having to pull them from the middle because he wasn't tall enough.

In the now pitch darkness of the room, the small crack of orange light coming through his partly opened door was more pronounced. Someone wasn't asleep. It could be one of the maids but they'd know better.

His eyes lit up.

He pulled open the door slowly and peeked outside as quietly as he could. If Artemis saw him he'd have a fit. He pouted. That butler could be such a pain sometimes, acting as if he himself was the head of the house.

The light was coming from the room at the far end of the hall, and he knew all too well which room it was. He smiled and tip-toed down the hallway, too interested in his destination to take notice the row of tall arched windows that were bare to let the light in on sunny days. Out there was so different compared to his room. The dark brown and black furniture certainly made it seem more sophisticated but gave it the air of being gloomy. The rest of the mansion hadn't really been changed either but even if it were to be painted bright colors, just like his room, it would do little good.

A cracking noise was filtering through the open door and the boy knew at once who was in the room. He smiled and made a move to open he door when a sound startled him.

It was low and soft. A musical note. The one note became four, and from the four a slow sonata. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to be whisked away on a cloud of music. To him, it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

He hadn't noticed that he had been leaning on the door until it fell open. When it didn't creak, he thought he'd been safe, unnoticed- the music hadn't stopped-, but when he peeked in, intense blue eyes were trained on him.

His mouth formed a small 'o' at being caught so easily. At first he thought the player of the piano would've been angry with him for being so intrusive, or maybe shout at him for barging in, but when their face broke into a smile, he had to contain himself from mirroring it.

With a short motion of the head, he was beckoned inside. He hesitated for a fraction of a second before mentally scolding himself for it. There was simply no need to be afraid. He eased through the small space and closed the tall door behind him unconsciously. He jumped slightly when it clicked, eliciting a quiet laugh from the other person.

The boy squinted. Light cascading down from the chandelier and reflecting off the immaculate marble floors made the room seem eerily bright. He loved this room. It was his favorite in the house. The ceiling was so high that he doubted he could ever reach it unless he could magically sprout wings. It reminded him of a small version of their ballroom with its curvatures and warm honey and gold colors. As throughout the whole house, floor to ceiling arched windows covered as much of the walls as they could.

The room was stunning, but he could admit that he focused less on it when he was in the room with the person currently sitting in front of a large, black piano, who had turned away from him, and was now giving the instrument his full attention.

The boy just stared in wonder, completely taken by the pianist. The way he sat with his back straight, his long legs perfectly in place. The way his wavy black hair fell onto his shoulders and into his eyes. And his hands; his fingers seemed to be made for the keys, to slide across them gently and deftly, never clumsy, always elegant. He was a picture. A masterpiece.

His fingers eased up and he turned his head lightly to look through his curtain of hair. He smiled again.

"Can't sleep?" he asked softly, blinking slowly with his smile still in place.

The boy shook his head and twisted his fingers together. "No, the rain…" He trailed off.

The older boy let his eyes remain closed for a fraction of a second before his smile faded briefly. He turned his head to the windows. "Shouldn't be a problem, Gabriel."

"It's not-" he started hurriedly, sensing a change. "It's just… I'm sorry."

The older boy turned to him again, staring dead in the eyes, something that the smaller boy both frightened and thrilled at the same time. He nodded and just like that his easy smile was back. He patted the space next to him on the bench and the smaller boy took it without hesitation.

The older boy rested his cheek on his head and ran his fingers idly along the keys, playing a familiar melody from a music box they both shared. He laughed and the vibrations that went through his hair made Gabriel smile. It wasn't very often, but he loved when they were together like this, alone and peaceful. No inhibitions in the way, the older boy would be warm and affectionate,

"I forgot you can't play the piano yet. Oh dear, I'm showing off aren't I?" he teased.

Gabriel flushed. "I can play too, but I mostly play the violin. If I put more effort into it…" Gabriel tried desperately, but they both knew better. His piano skills were poor at best. He knew he would need to practice to become truly good, but he found himself contented by just watching it being played.

"I'll learn if you want me too," he said meekly, turning his head to see the expression on the other's face, and breathing the familiar scent of his skin from being so close to him.

His timid statement only made the other laugh. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be a master of your own trade in no time," he soothed, pulling him closer in a one-armed hug. "Here, I'll give you a few pointers."

He took the boy's small fingers in his own pale, long ones, and placed them on the keys. "One here….and another here…These are the most important, okay? You'll have to remember that when you're playing. I remember it took me a while before I could-"

When the older boy's hands stopped moving and his voice faded away into slurping noises, Gabriel-confused and surprised- looked up and screamed. What he saw made his blood run cold and his heart stopped beating. The drawing room was gone and so was the piano. In fact he was floating over a river.

The boy, the masterpiece was still; his face and skin were blue and cold as death. His clothes were soaked and water poured from his eyes and his mouth that was frozen open in shock. His hair that was mingled with seaweed hung around his face and dripped water down his cheeks.

The eyes that he loved so much were frozen like liquid sapphire and stood out even more now. When the dead eyes moved to look at him, the boy screamed, and screamed. And screamed. And fell.

{}

Gabriel tried to take in as much air as he could into his deprived lungs when he sat up too quickly. His hair stuck to his cheeks and neck, damp with sweat. He was shivering so badly that he had to clasp his hand over his mouth. He looked around the room trying to get his bearings and to get his breathing to come normally.

The sky outside was still dark and the moon hung overhead in between a sea of stars. A quick glance at the clock. 3:45 am. _Right on time._

His hand slid to his neck and closed over something cold and he squeezed it. He pushed back his hair and flopped back into his pillow when he felt like he could breathe again. He could try to get back to sleep now but somehow he knew he never would be able to, not with the blood in his veins racing.

It was like this after every nightmare. He would be unable to close his eyes for at least another twenty minutes until the dream wore off and he found something that could occupy his mind until he felt at ease, and then he would reach for it; the small red vile that he kept under his pillow at night and hid during the day.

There was nothing to reach for now. No comfort there for him to drown himself in, so he settled for staring at the shaft of moonlight shining on the bedside table. He could hear Severus' slow rhythmic breathing from across the room and he allowed his thoughts to drift there.  
_  
What a troublesome predicament._ He sighed dejectedly. No it had to be done. Besides, it wasn't like he was doing it on purpose. He would never do anything to hurt Severus intentionally but he couldn't let his final year at school to be a dud. He had to get the last laugh, the final blow, and if it so happened that Lily Evans was the key, then it was simply unavoidable.

Gabriel wouldn't usually put much thought into these kinds of things, but it gave him something to focus his mind on until the stars began to disappear into the paling blue sky. It was still way too early to go down to breakfast, but he was beginning to feel restless so he dressed quickly and left as quietly as he could.

He waltzed through the empty common room. Maybe he should stay there? Pull up a chair by the fire? No, he didn't feel like it. His feet needed to move, he needed to find something to do with his hands. He rubbed his eyes irritably and looked back toward the direction of his room. Going back wasn't an option, so he dragged on in a daze.

His feet took him to the Astronomy Tower and he idled in the morning air for a while before his stomach growled in protest from the lack of nourishment and he finally went to breakfast.

Thank goodness the Great Hall was empty except for the scattering of insomniacs like himself. He paid them no attention, and because he paid them no attention, he failed to see Pricilla trying desperately to catch his eyes from the Slytherin table, until it was too late.

"Good morning Gabriel. Slept well?" Pricilla smiled up at him when he stood over her. With a heavy sigh, he sat beside her and propped his chin in his hands. The only thing he hated other than waking up early, was waking up too early.

"No. And it seems like you didn't either," he said, drumming his fingers.

Pricilla looked confused. "Why do you say that?"

Gabriel eyed her. "To put it bluntly, you look like you just literally rolled out of bed," he sneered. Her hair was sticking out at every angle and her eyes were heavy with sleep. She smoothed her hair down with her hands self consciously.

"It's not that bad is it?" she whispered, ducking her head low and trying to straighten out her hair.

Gabriel yawned and closed his eyes. "No. I just thought well, you know, girls were bothered by those things."

"What things?"

"Not looking pretty and such," Gabriel said slowly. Why couldn't the food just appear when someone sat down? That would make things so much easier for people who were in a hurry.

Pricilla didn't reply so Gabriel cracked open an eye. She was staring at him with her mouth and eyes wide open- with in addition to her tired look just made her look demented.

"What?" he asked coldly.

She shook her head. "Nothing. I'll be right back." She left in a hurry shielding her face, without looking back.

And just like that, he was alone again. Gabriel didn't bother to answer her. He wouldn't be there when she returned. Served her right for rushing out of bed just to have more time to annoy him. He was feeling sleepy and he would rather take his chances with an unresponsive Severus than a strange Pricilla.

It was still early enough for him to get in a couple hours of sleep because he had the first two morning periods free. He only got halfway to the dungeons when a gloomy Severus walked toward him. He thoroughly admired Severus, only he possessed the ability to look frightening at any time of day, even at seven- thirty in the morning.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and bent his head. Severus was pointedly glaring at him with every step he took, his intent on ignoring Gabriel completely clear. _This is ridiculous_ he thought_._

Gabriel moved in front of him to block his path. Severus tried to side step him but Gabriel just moved in front him again. Severus growled and stepped to his left but Gabriel spread his hands to stop him while smiling coolly at the annoyed look on his face. He tilted his head and smiled mockingly but Severus was anything but amused. He kept eye contact but his eyes darted briefly to the left. Gabriel caught it quickly and anticipating the move, shifted to the left but when he did, Severus ducked under and past him to the right.

Gabriel spun around and grabbed his arm to stop him from moving. "How long are you planning to ignore me, Severus? You do realize that we sleep in the same room don't you?"

Severus glared daggers at the hand that was restraining him but Gabriel didn't budge an inch. This had to be taken care of now before it got out of control.

"It's going to go on for as long as your little _plan_ is in motion."

Gabriel winced. "Don't say _plan_ like that. Jeez, your making it sound like if I'm some evil villain."

Severus raised a challenging eyebrow.

"There is no plan Severus," Gabriel said tiredly.

"So what do you call last night," Severus pressed, coming closer to Gabriel and boring into his eyes. Gabriel cleared his mind and let go of Severus' arm.

"I would call last night, last night. Is there any other name for it," he smirked.

Severus grunted and walked away.

"What do you want me to say? I know you sometimes have a selective memory but you were there. She smiled at _me_ and I smiled back. I was being polite so-"

Gabriel recoiled when Severus sprang back with the speed of a cat and drew himself up to full height, mere inches from his face. "She did not smile at you," he hissed, stressing the pronunciation of every word.

Gabriel threw his hands in front of him in surrender. "Okay, okay. She didn't smile at me. Don't know what I was thinking."

He breathed a sigh of relief when Severus backed away from him and put a comfortable amount of space between them. He could still feel Severus' stare on him and he had to look away. He was glad when the other boy broke- what was in his opinion- the uncomfortable silence that followed.

"I don't care about whatever revenge you want to exact of Potter, but keep Lily out of it," Severus instructed coldly. Somewhere behind them there was a loud crash, like a suit of armor collapsing, and it drew Severus' attention for a moment.

"Say his name and things just fall apart." He laughed stupidly, suddenly desiring nothing more than to be in his bed with the sheets pulled up over his head.

Severus acted as if he hadn't spoken. Gabriel's temper flared. He wanted to tell Severus how stupid and dramatic he was being. He wanted to tell him that he was protecting someone who probably didn't give a rat's ass about him anymore and that he should open his eyes to what possibilities lay elsewhere, but he bit his tongue. It took all his self control.

"Severus, how can I get you to understand that I have, no," he laughed with frustration and rubbed his temple, "no, possible, interest in Lily Evans. How can I make you understand this!"

"Put an end to everything that you're planning."

Gabriel's was stunned silent. "What?"

Severus smirked. "No plans, no nothing. No involving Lily."

"Fine." Gabriel knew when he was defeated. There was no sense in causing an avoidable commotion. "You can stop smirking now," he added bitterly.

Severus, finally satisfied, walked away.

"Um, Severus… do you think…" Gabriel scratched the back of his head awkwardly, fumbling with the right words. He barely caught the projectile that was flying toward him; a small red vile, its contents half empty.

"That should do until I have access of the potions lab today," Severus drawled and stalked away again. Gabriel squeezed the bottle in his hand and smiled. Severus must have saved it for him. He always thought ahead and planned for any situation. Gabriel was lucky if he planned ahead for two minutes into the future.

Consequences for actions always seemed so far away to him; maybe that was why he and Severus were how they were now, because he didn't stop to consider the consequences for his actions that day two years prior. Even though the outcome was horrible, every time he thought about it, he couldn't see himself not doing what he did.

The bottle began to sway in his hands. He squeezed it but the swaying didn't stop. Maybe breakfast wasn't that far away. He could wait now that he and Severus were speaking again, he'd have someone to talk to. If only his head would stop moving and let him focus on walking.

"Hello," came a girl's voice from behind him. It was so soft that for a minute he thought it might have been Pricilla. He quickly dismissed it because the girl didn't immediately cling to him. He used his hand to keep his balance while trying to blink away the dizziness. "Hello."

"Gabriel, wasn't it?" There was another loud crash that made him nearly trip over his shoes. _What the hell is wrong with this school? _He wondered_._ A hand rested on his abdomen to help him from falling over and he stopped to get a good look at who he was actually talking to.

Standing there, smiling quite nicely was Lily Evans. He knew his mouth must have been hanging open from the irony of the situation when she gave a little laugh. _She remembered my name?  
_  
"Lily…"

"Are you alright? You don't look so well,"

"Well I can go ahead and throw away that new face cream I was using then."

She laughed and he instantly tried to straighten himself, the feeling of guilt permeating him. But he wasn't doing anything. He was just talking. He promised not to include her in anything but he could still talk to her right. She had made the first move. Again. Severus couldn't very well complain. But why was he talking to her if she wasn't needed for the plan? There was no need for him to be courteous.

"Were you headed to breakfast too?" she asked, walking in a pace that suggested she might be waiting for him to walk with her.

"Er…" _Severus just headed in that direction. _"No, I was going back for something I forgot." He managed a curvature of his lips that he would've liked to think was a smile.

"Oh… well I guess I'll see you around then." She kept shifting on her feet but she returned his smile.

Gabriel bowed his head slowly in confirmation. "Right." He honestly didn't know what else to say in reply to her. Was she implying that she wanted to _see_ him again?

She hesitated for a moment more before walking away and leaving behind a bewildered Gabriel. He tilted his head and watched her go. _Curious thing.  
_  
What a strange morning this had been. Was this what it was like to wake up early? He would have to remember to never do it again. He would give anything for it to be over, but when he rounded the corridor, James Potter was leaning against the wall with his arms folded and looking about ready to ruin his day. _  
_


	5. Chapter 5

Gabriel stifled a groan that was bubbling in his throat at the amount of bad luck he'd been having for the morning. He would have liked to say that things couldn't have possibly gotten any worse but they just had. Potter parked himself in front of him just as he had done to Severus a moment ago, and he could fully grasp the fact that it wasn't at all amusing if you were on the receiving end.

"What do you want?" Gabriel demanded irritably. He really wasn't in the mood for this. Not this early in the morning. He always enjoyed a good challenge so maybe later, but definitely not now.

James glared at him, unmoved by his attitude. "Piss off. Don't take that tone with me _Monte_. I know what you're up to."

Gabriel rolled his eyes and peered around him at the collapsed armor; the helmet was several feet behind him. "So that's what all the racket was about then. Guess I can add eaves dropping to your dismal repertoire."

"Don't try to twist things around! I wasn't eaves dropping."

"Is that face supposed to frighten me? Here's a hint, next time you try to intimidate someone, don't do it after they've just caught you sneaking around behind armor," he sneered, pushing past him.

"You know what, fuck you. What's going on? What are you planning with Lily?"

Gabriel turned sharply, making James, who had been following him, stop suddenly to avoid running into him. He cocked an eyebrow. "Such a dirty mouth you have," he smirked. When the other boy narrowed his eyes, his smug expression only grew. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You don't know what I'm talking about my arse," James spat, increasing his pace to match Gabriel's long strides. "I know how you work, Monte."

"You don't know anything about me, _Planter."_

"I know that you put a charm on me last year that stuck my mouth closed for a week!"

"It was an improvement. You should thank me," Gabriel laughed, walking backwards so he faced him.

"I could think of a few ways I'd like to thank you," James mumbled darkly.

"So could I," Gabriel mumbled back before he knew what he was saying.

James' brow creased and Gabriel had to turn away. What the hell was he doing? It was bad enough that he was smiling but what on earth was he saying?

His mind screamed 'Bed. Now!' and he would be more than happy to oblige. That could be the only explanation he could think of for his behavior, his sleep deprivation.

He cleared his throat and started walking furiously. "Leave me alone Potter, I've already told you what I had too, now bugger off."

"What?! I'm not finished with you yet," James said, refusing to let him go that easily.

"Look, get the bloody girl if you want too, what is your problem?" he snapped, loosing his composure now.

"I don't want to see you near her again!"

Gabriel scoffed at his oh so 'serious' tone. "Big words. We both know you were spying on me so I'm sure you heard what I told Severus. There is nothing involving Lily."

"I saw you waving at her last night."

"Is it against the law to wave at someone? Besides, she waved first," he added in a deliberate undertone just to see that vein that would appear right at the side of James' temple. He saw it so much that he decided to name it Jim. '_Lo Jim_

"I swear this time is different. I'll kill you if you touch her!"

What was it with them? What was it about that particular girl that made Severus and James like this? He couldn't see it. He could however see the rage in their eyes whenever the subject of her was brought up and it frustrated him.

"You're so jealous it's pathetic. There's nothing there for you so what're you trying to prove? You've been stalking the poor girl for so long but I bet I could probably do a better job in a shorter time, so just shut up and let me get some sleep!"

James was completely silent after Gabriel's rant. Gabriel, having vented and successfully silencing James, felt immensely better and he turned his back on him and walked away.

"And just so you know, I plan to show you how much better of a job I can do," he added, over his shoulder with a wave which provoked more foul language being hurled at his back from James.

{}

"I tell you he's planning something. Are you listening to me!?"

Sirius nodded, rubbing the sleep from the corner of his eyes. James was sitting at the edge of his bed, gripping the sheets until his knuckles were white and practically shouting in his ear.

"You're not listening," James said Shaking Sirius frantically.

"I'm listening James," Peter said cheerfully, but just continued shaking his victim.

He had burst in madly and shouted until he had awoken all of them from their beds. No sooner than their eyes were open did he start to recap his morning, not caring at all if they were listening. He mysteriously left out the part where Lily had appeared to be waiting for Monte. It was his imagination.

Remus was still lying on his stomach with one of his legs hanging over his bed. Sirius, who was planning to pull the covers over his head and ignore him, couldn't, because James had singled him out as his main target.

"James, what were you doing up so early," Sirius croaked, obviously still sleepy but managing an effort for James' sake and so that James wouldn't shake away his sanity. He wouldn't let them sleep when he had something to rant about anyway and they all knew that the quickest way to get him to shut up would be to humor him.

James grunted and mumbled something.

"What?"

"I said, aren't I allowed to wake up early? That's not the point here! That bastard Monte has something up his sleeve to throw at us."

"How did it get to _us_ now?" Remus grumbled with his head still smothered in his pillow.

"That's right. He only annoys you," Peter snickered.

"What exactly is he planning, prongs?" Sirius tried to distract him, diffusing an explosion of sorts he would say.

When it came to Gabriel Monté, the slightest thing set James off. Sirius didn't much understand the bad blood between them, but James couldn't stand him for some reason. He never personally interfered him or the others, he only seemed to bother James, but an enemy of James was an enemy of theirs as well in his mind.

"I don't know Padfoot, but I just know it's diabolical."

Remus snorted. "Diabolical?"

"Yeah and…and - _And_, he's trying to steal Lily from me!"

"Are you saying he likes her too?" Peter was lying on his back, flicking the underside of Remus' bed, trying desperately to annoy him.

"No, he doesn't. He's trying to get back at me!" James shouted and started pacing the room.

"Prongs, mate calm down," Sirius soothed, "nothing to over exert yourself over."

"What do you mean nothing!"

"He means hasn't the thought ever occur to you that he's just trying to wind you up," Remus said, taking a swing at Peter's head which he avoided and stuck out his tongue.

"I don't care; he's been a pain in my arse for too long. Something's got to be done," James continued, not one to be swayed.

"I've got an idea, how about we neuter him?" Sirius teased. Remus laughed. "I was just about to suggest we lock him in with moaning myrtle. That'd teach him."

"I'm serious. He's a cocky, self-absorbed, hypocritical bastard, but he has to have a weak spot." _He's obviously spotted mine_. James looked out through the window thoughtfully.

"I'm going to find out what it is." James' resolve was concrete and the marauders exchanged looks.

Sirius spared him a derisive snort before retreating under the covers. "Good luck."

Pricilla exhaled, letting out a breath that that she'd been holding for the last minute. The approaching footsteps she had heard weren't from Gabriel, but someone else and her body gradually relaxed again except for the persistent fluttering in her chest. She fussed with her hair and kept rubbing her nose and forehead to make sure that they weren't oily. It was like a nervous habit she had whenever she knew she would see him, the urgent need to make herself perfect in his eyes.

She bit her lip and looked around the emptying common room from her waiting position by the door. Gabriel was late for their first night of rounds. No biggie really, he was always late. She guessed he wasn't a very punctual person, although she had never really seen him late for anything else. But at least he tried to be on time for her, right? He tried his best, and she could appreciate that. He wouldn't purposely leave her hanging because of her behavior this morning would he? She shouldn't have left him like that. It was rude and uncalled for in her opinion, but she was angry and hurt.

A knot began to form in her stomach and she considered the idea of going up and doing something unreasonably foolish, like running into the boys' dormitory and throwing her arms around him whispering a thousand apologies. It was something she always longed to do. Too bad she wasn't nearly as brazen as her thoughts allowed her to believe she could be. She should be! Maybe that would get her somewhere, anywhere than where she was now, she thought with a frustrated huff.

Her annoyance was quickly forgotten when a tall figure, walking as languidly possible, sauntered across the room, hands in his pockets, head inclined to see as little as possible of what he passed.

Her stomach flipped. She wasn't even bothered by the fact that he was obviously taking his time; in fact, she wished he would walk a little slower. She tried to peel away her eyes and stop leering- as she was sure she was- but it never worked before so trying now would be useless.

He lifted his head slowly and she was met with the fierceness of his amber eyes, even though his face was otherwise relatively expressionless. He looked to be in a better mood than he was in the morning and he didn't seem upset with her. So she forced her quivering lips into a smile.

Gabriel didn't bother to return one. "I apologize for being late," he said, in a tone that could easily be mistaken for apathetic. Pricilla shook her head, too distracted by the way his lips had formed the words to take note of what he was actually saying. When he frowned in confusion at her unrelenting tare, she flushed.

"Ready?" she asked hastily, trying to cover her embarrassment.

Gabriel nodded and gestured with a sweep of his hand for her to proceed ahead. She repressed a giddy giggle. She knew it was nothing special for her, just his upbringing, but she would never tire of his impeccable manners.

She started at a slow pace, allowing him to catch up and fall into place beside her. This was perfect. Just the two of them, strolling alone, maybe this was the break she needed. A little quality time could go a long way. Of course she wouldn't dare push it. She considered herself lucky to be even near him. Girls would kill for the opportunity she had so she counted herself lucky. She found it strange that he didn't seem interested in anyone, but who was she to complain.

Gabriel was a person who valued solitude and only associated himself with people who he considered similar to him or who fascinated him to a certain extent. The thought that he might find her _fascinating_ made her blush and she cupped her heated cheeks in her hands. She must calm down and relax. Gabriel might think she's a basket case. She chanced a look at his face to see if had noticed anything but he was looking straight ahead with a scowl on his features.

She was relieved but followed his line of sight and her eyes narrowed as well. She was sure she snarled, she certainly felt like it. There were two people walking a little way ahead of them. That hair could only belong to that Gryffindor Miss Perfect Lily Evans and the boy beside her would have to be James Potter.

She concluded in less than a second that Gabriel would have to be staring at Evans, and her blood boiled. He was staring at her on the train yesterday as well. It was becoming something she couldn't just overlook anymore.

Gabriel's face suddenly broke out into a grin and Pricilla's brows knitted in confusion, not even bothering to hide the fact that she was staring at him anymore. Evans had just given Potter a dirty look at something he had said and walked ahead a little faster. Was Gabriel smiling because of her?

"Gabriel, are you alright?" said Pricilla, fixing him with a concerning look and smiling when she finally got his attention.

He shook his head. "No, not at all," he said so calmly that Pricilla almost scoffed thinking he was playing. He looked down on her suddenly, and his features eased as if he had just remembered something very important.

"Pricilla," he started seriously, "I'm afraid I haven't apologized for my behavior this morning. I'm really very sorry if I said anything rude."

Once Pricilla got over her initial shock, she nodded. Gabriel led her by the elbow and continued. "Yes, I think it all boils down to the fact that I'm virtually clueless about girls."

Pricilla felt like she would faint.

"I know it's a silly question but… what, exactly…do girls like?" Pricilla was taken off guard by his vulnerable look and of course the question he had just asked _and_ the fact that he willingly told her something personal about himself, all at once.

What could she say to those gorgeous expecting eyes she was looking into? Was he asking her this to find out how to better interact with her? She masked her shock and elation well.

"Um, well…" Pricilla sat in the sill of a window while Gabriel remained standing over her.

"Girls like a gentleman," she explained in a dreamy voice, gesturing toward him. "They like someone, who is witty, funny, but can be serious when the time comes. Romantic. Very sensitive and who has a lot in common with them and listens well. Not all girls go for the forward, smart-ass type. They tend to like the quiet, mysterious ones." _That are extremely handsome.  
_  
Gabriel nodded his head attentively to everything she was saying, he was literally drinking it up. "Hmm, lots in common… romantic…"

"Yes," she replied excitedly, glad to be having this level of conversation with him.

"Okay, and how do you know if a girl…you know… fancies you?"

"Well, she'll more than likely act different around you, a bit shyer and out of character. Although they are some who'd come right out and say it," she said nervously.

"Hmm." He actually looked serious about all of this. He was staring at her intently, almost demanding. "But how do I know for sure?"

"I doubt that'll help you much," said a voice heavy with amusement. "Is this you idea of doing rounds, Monte."

Pricilla could see Gabriel's jaw clenching but other than that he showed no sign that he had even heard him until he turned around. "Yes, and I'd be correct in assuming that this is your idea of annoying me. What do you want?"

"What do I want? A new broom would be nice. But what would really take the cake would be you to move your arse and do your job."

"And you're doing what exactly?" Gabriel countered.

James' eye twitched. "More than you are," he said through gritted teeth.

Gabriel's lips curled and waved him away like one would bothersome child. "I'm sure you are Planter, now shoo."

"I'm going to fucking kill you!"

"What an interesting little thing you are."

"James, I barely left you for a minute. What's going on?" Lily had arrived, and if Pricilla wasn't as watchful as she was, she would have missed the way the red-head's eyes lingered a little too long.

"Nothing. Monte here is holding a therapy session instead of what he's supposed to be doing."

Gabriel bristled. "I don't exactly see you setting an example_, Head Boy_."

"That's because I've got to be watching over incompetent people like you. You need a babysitter."

"You're one to talk Potter. You'd need a guide to find your way inside your enormous head."

"Why you self-righteous ponce," James snarled, clenching his fists.

Lily watched their exchange quietly and let out a tired sigh before he lips curved into a smile. She folded her arms and addressed the both of them. "Well you _are_ Head Boy, James so maybe you're right. Maybe Gabriel needs someone to show him what needs to be done." She looked at Gabriel impassively when she said this. "You can do it," she said to James with a malicious smirk.

Oh she was good, Pricilla thought wryly. From the look on her face, she was clearly enjoying this. If Pricilla didn't hate her for capturing Gabriel's attention, she probably would have admired her style. Probably.

James looked like he was about ready to wet himself and Gabriel was massaging his temple.

"What? Lily, what are you saying?" James pleaded. "How could you do this to me?"

She turned and walked away and Pricilla- seeing an opportunity- was quick to follow. The best way to bring down the enemy camp was to attack from the inside. She gave Gabriel one final glance and hoped that he took advantage that was handed to him as well.


	6. Chapter 6

"I can't sleep!"

"Try closing your eyes."

"Okay."

……

"It didn't work?"

"No."

"Try closing them with the intention of actually going to sleep."

"Thanks a lot, Severus."

Gabriel turned on his side and narrowed his eyes at the figure hunching over a book on the bed across from his. Severus lowered the potions book that he was reading through and looked at him from the corner of his eye.

"Why would you even want to sleep now? It's only eight thirty."

Gabriel laid back and rested his hands beneath his head. "I have a feeling tonight will be horrible."

"Rounds." He answered the question before Severus could voice it.

"Why would that be a problem?" Severus asked, going back to his book idly.

"I've been paired up with that bothersome nuisance, Potter." Gabriel dragged his hand down his face in frustration. How did he get himself into this situation? It would have been better if Lily had insisted that he go with her. Even if she was trying to teach Potter a lesson, why did he have to suffer as well?

"Why don't you just go alone?" Severus asked a little icily now that James had been brought up.

"I can't. Everyone needs to be paired. Some sort of precaution by Professor Dumbledore I suppose. No one is to be out alone at night."

Severus didn't reply right away, and when he did, he just gave a noncommittal "Hm."

Severus could be considered a good listener, even if sometimes he didn't always seem attentive or didn't reply very often. Most of the time, if it seemed he wasn't listening, it was because he was actually pretending not to. But it was little hesitations like these that caused need for concern.

Gabriel ignored the chill Severus' behavior gave him. He'd been ignoring it for a year and a half now; turning a blind eye to every little slip of the tongue or veiling of a hidden meaning within his words. Hoping that one day it would turn out to have just been his imagination.

"What?"

When Gabriel realized he'd been staring, he shook his head and turned away from him. If Severus had something to tell him, he would be told in due time. That was something he had decided on along time ago.

"Nothing, nothing."

Severus eyed him suspiciously. "When you say _nothing_ twice it's usually _something_."

"Severus-" Gabriel ran his finger idly over the wrinkles in the sheet beneath him. "- if something was, _bothering_ you, you would tell me right?"

"What do you mean?" he asked slowly.

"I mean like… a problem that you may need help with. You would ask… me right?"

"No." Severus hesitated, like he was thinking before asking, "Would you?"

The question had seemed simple enough, but Gabriel knew from experience with Severus that it was anything but. He wasn't asking a hypothetical question.

Gabriel flipped back over to face him and smirked. "Touché. But all I was trying to ask was-"

Gabriel's eyes followed Severus' to the windows and he froze. Though he tried to maintain his mask of indifference, that fact that he was trembling in fear spoke volumes. Severus didn't miss a beat and noted his reaction as he always did.

"Are you all right?" he asked in an equal voice, even though he saw the way Gabriel's face changed with panic. He also couldn't tear his eyes away from the window, Severus noticed.

Gabriel visibly sunk. He just couldn't help it. He hated when it was like this. Why was it always like this? He couldn't even form coherent words in his mind, so it came as a shock to him when he heard himself tell Severus that he was fine.

"Are you sure? What was it that you were going to say before?"

Gabriel finally tore his eyes away and turned to hide his face.

"Nothing," he replied softly.

Severus was still looking at him long after he turned away. Some things were better if left alone; questions that were better if left unanswered. He knew this from experience, but unfortunately, his friend didn't.

{}

Ten o'clock rolled round faster than James would have liked, in fact, he would have liked if it never came at all, not when he thought about the seizure educing hours he'd have to spend in Monte's company. It was enough to drive him insane. He didn't have time for this! What little precious time he had couldn't be wasted like that.

When he had told the others about the new _arrangement,_ Sirius and Peter looked surprised and Remus gave him the 'it has to be your fault somehow' look. It wasn't his fault though was it?

Sirius tried to cheer him up by telling him that he could use the time to investigate Gabriel and pinpoint his Achilles heel for future assault, but nothing could sweeten this deal.

James aimed his broom near the stands and dived into a smooth landing even though he was being pelted by rain. He had been restless the whole evening until it was not so subtly suggested to him that he should get some _fresh air_ to clear his head. Flying always cleared his mind but it sure as hell wasn't working now.

He climbed off the broom huffily, and kicked the blades of grass beneath his feet. The sooner he got this done, the sooner it would be over. He under no circumstances allowed himself to think about how long he would have to put up with it. Hopefully, he will be able to convince Lily to change it back, by showing her how responsible he could be.

So broom in hand, he sullenly and very, very slowly made his way up to the castle. He was determined to keep himself in a bad mood. And even though he was determined to stay in his so called bad mood, he gently replaced his broom beneath his bed, because Cassandra wasn't the problem so there was no need to take out his frustration on her. He cleaned himself up and changed off.

By the times James had finished that, written his will and bade goodbye to his friends and the cruel world, it was ten thirty. Needless to say, he didn't care. He wasted time on purpose, just to be late, just to annoy Monte.

He was supposed to meet him on the third floor and the floor and walls of Hogwarts never seemed to interesting to James in his entire life as they did now. He took his time to admire them all. From every portrait, to the tiny cracks on the ground.

Luck must have been on his side because as soon as he got to the stair case, it shifted and he had to wait a good five minutes before it returned. No problem though, he was in no hurry.

When he finally made it to the meeting spot, he saw Monte standing with his hands in his pockets, waiting for him. James smiled evilly. Monte would probably be pissed that he made him wait so long. Served him right for getting them into this.

"Monte. Been waiting long?" James walked up to him innocently and braced himself for the ferocious attitude he knew was coming.

"It's not a problem," Gabriel replied quietly.

James blinked. "What?"

James' mouth opened wide_. What??!!_ He couldn't believe his ears were screwed on right. He walked a little ways behind Monte who didn't even spare him the decency of looking at him before walking away. It was definitely not the reaction he was looking for. It surprised him.

Wasn't the other boy upset? He knew he would have to be! Maybe he was just pretending not to be. He could play it cool as well though he had to admit that Monte was doing a damn good job. It was completely throwing off his attack mode. He would make him crack. Maybe Sirius had a point about making the best of this time.

He jogged a little until he was beside him and gave him a dirty look. Still nothing!

"What's your problem?!" James had lost his cool -if he ever had it- and snapped at the irritating boy beside him.

Gabriel stopped and exhaled. "Does it look like I have a problem," he asked. He didn't even raise his voice!

"Yes. It does. You've had less personality than usual!" James folded his arms. Why was he so angry about this?

Gabriel cocked his eyebrow, or at least tried. "Right."

"Right? That's all you have to say?"

"What is it that you want from me?"

"I want you to be normal and actually say something!"

"Humph, I imagined you would be pleased if I stopped talking to you." Gabriel sighed and turned away.

"Yeah, well…" _you imagined wrong._ "Just, forget it, you're right, I don't care. Let's just hurry up and get this over with."

James huffed and made no more attempt to talk so they continued in silence. He wasn't bothered by this at all. He knew full well that this time would have been un-enjoyable, he had come with that expectation. So why was he bother- No, he was not bothered!

Monte was completely quiet, save for the little sniffing noises he made every once in a while. James tried with all his strength; including the strength he put aside for grueling times, like when Lily ignored him, to stop himself from looking at the boy out of the corner of his eyes when he figured he wasn't looking, but he was failing, and miserably.

There was just something, not normal, about Monte tonight. Was he imagining it, or did Monte look, sad?

But he didn't care, of course.

The night was passing by uneventfully, and he was relieved, although he was hoping to run into Lily. But that was something that could be taken care of tomorrow. Right now, he just spotted a sneaky little couple who were looking more like conjoined twins by the minute.

Monte didn't look the least bit interested, which was fine by James because he didn't need his help anyway, so he stepped up to handle this one himself.

He crossed his arms and tried to look as intimidating as he could. He cleared his throat loudly, but the couple was so enthusiastic that they didn't even take notice of him.

He leaned in closer. "I said, AHEM!"

The girl shrieked, pulled her shirt close and stepped closer to the boy who not so discreetly, wiped his mouth.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here? What exactly do you two think you're doing? Other than… the obvious?"

The boy, which he noticed was sporting the Slytherin colours, fired up. In fact they both looked peeved to have been interrupted. "What does it look like we're doing," he snapped. James pretended to wipe his face.

"It seems to me like you_ children_ are out after curfew doing less that respectable things and mouthing off to the Head boy. And would you fix you shirt please?" he directed at the girl. "You're hardly equipped to have it opened anyway."

She screeched and opened her mouth to retort but James cut her off with a hand.

"-And because I'm in such a pissy mood," he threw a quick look over his shoulder. Gabriel was leaning against the wall with his chin in the palm of his hand. "Twenty-five points from Slytherin." _That should get him._

"What! You can't do that!" the boy cried, clenching his fists.

James' eyes were still on Monte, waiting for the reaction that never came.

"Don't start with me or it'll be detentions for two weeks. Back to your respective houses now!"

They mumbled and grumbled but stomped off without further protest. James raked his hands through his hair and glared.

"Okay Monte, five more minutes and we can call it a night."

Gabriel nodded and James stifled the urge to claw him to bits. He doubted he could handle five more minutes. It didn't take a genius to know that something was wrong with him. He was moping around and it was extremely irritating.

The less set backs the better. All he wanted to do now was to get back to the common room. Too bad that another set back just snuck from inside an empty classroom and was trying to tip-toe away.

"Hey!"

The boy broke into a run and, rolling his eyes, James took off after him. He didn't get too far, with James' long legs he caught up to him in no time and held him back from the scruff of his collar. He recognized the spiky blonde hair and thin face.

"It wasn't me! I swear I didn't do it!"

"Charlie!"

Charlie had tried to scramble away when he was caught but now that he knew _who_ had caught him he looked thankful.

"Oh, James, it's just you."

James released him. "What do you mean it's just me? What are you doing running around this late?"

"Nothing," Charlie said, smiling innocently.

"Then why'd you run?"

"I was afraid to get caught obviously," he replied in that rude tone that James rather disliked.

"Yes, but_ why_?"

Charlie gave him that dull look that screamed 'I'm tired of this'.

"Don't give me that look! You should be glad that it was me who found you. Again. Anyone else and you wouldn't be this lucky."

"Lucky? Does that mean that I don't get detention," he asked hopefully.

James thought about it for a moment. There was nothing wrong with a little youthful mischief as he liked to call it.

"Depends."

"On what?" Charlie asked skeptically.

"Whether or not you're willing to tell me what you set up in that classroom you just came from."

Gabriel counted every second from the time James had left him to wait. He had gotten up to five hundred and seventy-six. Counting was safe, counting calmed him down and helped him to focus his mind on a task and left no room for distractions. Distractions being the wide and seemingly endless variety of windows in this damned school.

The rain…

It had caught him off guard, that was all, but it was enough to ensure another sleepless night. So much this soon? It was only his third day back at school and he felt like he had only managed a couple hours sleep combined.

Gabriel was nearing six hundred second count, when the most peculiar thing invaded his senses. It was so strong that it knocked the wind out of him; a powerful scent, coming from inside the closed confines of an unused classroom.

The familiarity of it and the situation at hand left no room for hesitation when he pushed up off the wall and stalked over to it. He couldn't believe it. Was his mind playing tricks on him? It had to be but…

"Monte, don't open that door!"

James was running- jogging leisurely- up the hallway but his protests fell of deaf ears. Gabriel's hand closed around the handle, not noticing that James had allowed himself a safe distance between them.

"Monte, I'm warning you," he repeated slowly, taking a few steps back to be cautious. It was no use warning him though because the fact was, he just wasn't listening. He had blocked out everything, every sound and anything that wasn't the enticing blend of coconut and mango.

Gabriel's shaking hand hovered over the door knob for a fraction of a second before he flung it open. The inside was not what he'd expected. What had he expected? Whatever it was, it certainly didn't include the gushing river of red ooze that poured out from inside.

He was literally swept away by the amount and force of it. He tried to get a grip but ironically enough, the over crowded school, let him down. He tried to keep his balance, his arms flailing, his feet making screeching sounds as he skidded on the slippery floor, but eventually he fell. Hard.

Every time he tried to get up, he just slipped again. He must have looked extremely idiotic because somewhere behind him, James' nasty laughter reached him. However, it was cut off instantly went he smacked into something, which sent him and it crashing to the goo covered ground.

"Lily!"

Gabriel only realized he fell on the thing- which was now indentified to be Lily- when her hands pressed on his chest to try and alleviate some his body weight which had her pinned. He raised his head to look into her stunned face. She was strangely quiet, almost as if she had stopped breathing.

"I'm sorry," he told her quietly, and then let his head fall to her shoulder with a sigh. He was dreadfully tired. _That smell was…_

"That's alright," she replied breathily, but that wasn't the worst of it. The red gunk that he was covered with, the same one that his hands that were at either side of Lily's head were in, seemed to be an adhesive that was solidifying. They couldn't move.

James, seeing their awkward landing, was having none of it. He stepped around corners to avoid being stuck himself.

"Told him not to open the stupid door, but do you think the stupid git would listen? No," he was mumbling. When he was close enough, a little red in the face, he withdrew his wand.

"Liberatio." James pointed his wand at Gabriel's hands, and then the area surrounding him and Lily. Gabriel rolled of Lily, and she let out a rush of air. James was by her side, and helped her to sit up.

"What was that?" she asked, holding still for James to perform the unique spell to clean her up.

"_That,_ was a very unfortunate accident that could have been avoided if a certain Jackass had listened to me in the first place."

They both automatically looked to where Gabriel was sitting with his head in his lap. James was sneering and trying not to laugh when he thought about the pompous boy flopping around like a fish.

Their eyes met for a fraction of a second and James thought he had finally gotten to him. Monte definitely wouldn't take that. But he was wrong. Instead of Monte looking angry, (he would even settle for aggravated in this case) he just looked about ready to break down. His eyes were shinning and he casually swept the hair out of his eyes.

"Gabriel," Lily whispered.

So, she had noticed it as well.

"What? It was just a little prank!" James snapped at Gabriel. _Why the hell is he acting like this!_

Gabriel didn't answer him. He got up and left them, without a single word.

"Come, on. Let's clean up the rest of this," Lily ordered after she and James exchanged confused glances.

James nodded, making sure to stand behind her so that she wouldn't see him staring after the boy, that sullen expression all that his mind would allow him to see.


	7. Chapter 7

Gabriel had always hated boats. Well, not so much hated, just found them entirely confusing.

He just didn't understand the principal behind the muggle invention, no matter how many times it was explained to him. One burning question kept coming up in his mind.

How did they stay afloat without magic?

There wasn't an explanation that he was given that could ever answer that question to his satisfaction, so he had decided against the whole idea of a floating object with people aboard it.

He was positively livid when his parents wanted to further flaunt their wealth, and bought a yacht for sailing when the weather was nice.

He didn't know which bothered him most; the fact that they bought the _yacht _despite his obvious dislike of it, or the fact that they had now taken up residence on an island wherethe idea of the weather notbeing_ nice _was laughable. Heaven forbid when it wasn't.

He'd managed to avoid the dreaded thing as much as humanly possible, which made him incredibly proud because being a wizard meant that there were only so much excuses and fake illnesses he could use, but he couldn't escape from what had befallen him today.

His stomach gave a lurch at the thought.

Right now, he was sailing.

On a boat.

And if a small boat confused him to no end, then this enormous steel contraption threatened to give him a heart attack.

_I'm going to die, _was all he could think_._

There was absolutely no way that it would continue floating. He would die a gruesome, watery death.

Gabriel tried to focus on something other than the uneasy feeling beneath his feet. That something happened to be the Caribbean sunset. A band of red and purple lined the horizon and separated the ginger sky from the waves that mirrored it. The sun was dipping slowly, and even though he knew they were passing it in the boat, it appeared to stationary, and that in itself, held his attention for quite a while.

The scene was so peaceful. He almost forgot that he was going to die. Almost. The ship gave a horrible jolt. He was sure it did and he grabbed on to the rails.

Everyone inside was oblivious to this. The fools couldn't feel it moving! However, looking on the brightside, he realized that there'd be more punch for him if everyone died. This was only a minor consolation though and wasn't enough for him to clutch to.

Why couldn't they have a normal party back at the estate on the safe, dry, large un-moving land?

Gabriel pressed his hand to his mouth tightly. Looking at the waves made him nauseous.

Someone grabbed his shoulder firmly from behind.

"Not enjoying the festivities, Gabriel?"

He was spun around and had to look up into the face of the towering figure; his older brother, Danyeal.

"N-Not really. I hate boats."

"Strange, you like the little dingy I take you to the lagoon in," his brother said knowingly.

"I hate the dingy! I can feel _this_ moving. I just know it's going to sink!"

Danyeal smiled, exposing rows of straight white teeth, and removed the very restricting looking bow he was wearing.

"There's no way that you can feel it moving, Gabriel," he said simply with an amused grin. "And even so, if it does sink, you're the only one out here on the deck. You'll be the first to drown."

Gabriel sniffed importantly at being informed of the obvious flaw in his logic. Only his brother could spot it. He folded his arms. "Humph, I still hate the dingy," he muttered darkly.

Very slowly, Danyeal undid the first few buttons on his crisp white shirt, revealing the length of his neck and collar bone. He rested his elbows on the rail and looked out at the horizon morosely.

Gabriel knew he would do this. It had become a habit of his even though it was imperative that people of their status dress a certain way. Prim and proper. Which in most cases meant dull and uncomfortable. And though he nor Danyeal didn't complain, Gabriel always noticed how his brother always seemed to look confined. Restricted by a prison of clothes that didn't suit him in the least. Was it just his clothes that seemed to be restricting him?

Gabriel lowered his eyes, but took the advantage to survey his brother discreetly. The wind was rustling his hair which was looking a little brown from the amount of sun that it took in on a daily basis. His smooth face was relaxed; the island sun was already doing wonders to tone out his complexion until it resembled the golden sand, but his brows were knitted tightly together and his blue eyes looked restless. His shoulders were tense, which was unlike the laid back boy that Gabriel knew him to be.

All these signs could only mean one thing. He was upset about something.

Gabriel knew the many faces and facets of his brother, but when he was like this, Gabriel didn't mind putting some space between them, which he was currently considering. As far as he was concerned, he had two options; he could either stay here and brave the storm that was his brother, or battle the miles and miles of water. When he thought about it, the answer was pretty obvious.

He'd be alright, he was light. He could float if it came to the worst.

"I-Is something wrong," he asked despite himself when the silence became unbearable.

Danyeal took several seconds, but then his lips curved into a smile. "No-" He paused and sighed dramatically, ruffling Gabriel's hair a bit. "I just wish mum and dad would try to remember what this celebration is for."

"It's for your birthday, isn't it?"

Gabriel cringed at the look Danyeal gave him. And here he though he'd said something smart.

"Well… essentially, yes but-"

"So then what's the problem?" Gabriel was confused.

"Nothing. You'll understand when you're older."

Gabriel really hated when he did that. Treated him like a silly child and not trust him with important information. He wasn't a child anymore and he would prove it. Normally, he would brush the comments aside but he would not this time.

"Why wouldn't I understand now?" he persisted, and just to be on the safe side, he threw in a pleading look. "Tell me."

"That look has no effect on me what so ever," Danyeal said plainly, even though he was having trouble keeping a straight face. Gabriel found himself secretly hoping that he would smile again.

He didn't.

Instead, he steered him around to look into the ballroom through the white glass doors that were thrown open. Couples inside the grand room were dancing to a fast paced concerto, their fluorescent colored clothes like swirling gems when they swirled around.

"Do you see that girl over there? The one in pink dress who isn't dancing."

Gabriel did his best to scan the faces of the numerous people until he spotted the young lady in question.

"The girl in the corner?"

"Yes. It seems this whole party was a ruse designed to corner me."

"Why?"

Danyeal sighed. "Apparently, I'm to be married to her whether I like it or not."

"What! M-Married?"

"Yes, and judging by that face you're making, I'd say you do understand the direness of the situation," he joked.

Danyeal was smiling calmly down at him, but Gabriel was fuming on the inside. Married?! What a ridiculous idea. Danyeal didn't want to be married! But he was being forced… against his own will.

But why?

It didn't make sense. The situation. His anger.

Gabriel didn't notice his mother's arrival until she cleared her throat, but Danyeal had because his shirt and clothing were perfectly back in place as if he had never taken them off.

They both bent their heads and swept into a low bow in their mother's presence.

"Rise." Her voice was as sharp as the crack of a whip. Now that he thought about it, Gabriel never heard her speak any other way that wasn't forceful. It was a shame.

She looked down on them, her nose high in the air and her eyes narrowed. She could be considered a beautiful woman with her silky black hair and vibrant green eyes. If only she would smile every now and then.

"Danyeal, what is the meaning of this? Whiling away your time out here when there are guests to be greeted inside."

"My apologies," Danyeal said a little stiffly. "Gabriel looked a bit lonely so I thought I'd-"  
"That is hardly an acceptable excuse," she cut him off harshly.

"But-" Gabriel interjected, trying to save his brother.

"Silence, Gabriel!" his mother snapped.

Gabriel yelped. He didn't notice that Danyeal's hands had balled into fists. She glared at them both until she felt satisfied and then addressed Danyeal again.

"Verucca is waiting. I informed her that you are a talented pianist and that you wouldn't mind giving us _all_ a demonstration."

"Of course." Danyeal bowed again, hiding the scowl on his face.

She excused herself without another word to them. Gabriel wanted to say something. Anything. But nothing would come to mind that he could say to placate his brother.

Danyeal didn't look at him after that. He too left without a word and silently followed in his mother's wake.

Gabriel didn't enjoy being on this cruise liner in the first place, but he felt even worse now. Funny how the fact that he'd been on a boat disappeared from his mind the moment his brother had joined him or maybe - he would realize later - it wasn't that funny at all.

Through the open doors, he watched as everyone in the room halted, and focused their attention on the grand piano on a raised platform at the front of the room, when his mother signaled for the orchestra to stop.

Danyeal, with all the grace and poise he was known for, strode up through the parting of people, and took his place.

The entire room was engulfed in darkness and a single, solitary light was focused on his brother and his nimble hands when he started a slow melody.

This wasn't right. Danyeal should only play for him, he thought.

His eyes sought out the girl Verucca, standing there ever so prettily and charmingly, smiling up at Danyeal possessively like they were already married. He had never hated anyone so much without meeting them in his entire life, until now.

He would fix her if she ever tried anything. Danyeal wouldn't mind a few well place stink bombs, he thought evilly. She wouldn't steal him away that easily.

With his mind somewhat at ease now, Gabriel closed his eyes to focus on the music. The song felt familiar and strange at the same time.

Was this really the song his brother had played at the party?

Of course it was!

What was he thinking?

Why was he asking?

There should be no need to ask but there was now, wasn't there. _He_ was asking. Somewhere, deep within his sub-conscious, alarm bells sounded. He was asking, and by asking he was thereby questioning the truth, meaning that if it left room for doubt, it was not fact.

Could it be wrong?

He was confused.

His feet began to wobble beneath him. He opened his eyes quickly. Where had everyone gone? There was no light, no people. The ship was rocking violently, pelting him backwards and sending him reeling forward. The fancy tables were sent sliding to the end of the room and crashing against each other. Small bits of glass from the enormous chandelier rained down on him when it collided with the ceiling and shattered. He covered his face but some of the shards had already found their way into his eyes causing them to bleed.

The rails were too far, he couldn't find something to anchor him down. It happened too quickly. So quickly that he didn't have time to prepare or comprehend when it had happened, but it did.

The massive ship, weighing thousands of tons, tilted and with an ear splitting groan of metal, and turned over. It didn't even make a wave in the water. The water was completely undisturbed, except for a small ripple where he had been thrown in.

All he knew was that he was sinking. Hs body didn't even feel heavy, and yet he was falling, being pulled down by an incredible force. Fighting it was useless, and he didn't try, he allowed himself to be drawn in. The thought never occurred to him, that is, until he saw Danyeal sinking as well.

He was still sitting at the piano, unaware of what was happening, though he had stopped playing.

Gabriel couldn't stand it. Danyeal couldn't die. Not like this! There was hardly any feeling in his legs, but he pushed them to their limits in an effort to swim, to save his drowning brother and get him to safety.

The water was invading his lungs rapidly, restricting him from breathing. But he had to save him. He had to…

He tried to call out to Danyeal, to get his attention, but all that came from his mouth was a flow of bubbles. He reached out a hand, and was rewarded with a small flicker of hope when his brother finally looked at him. He silently begged him to take his hand, pleaded with everything that was in him to come back to him. With him.

Danyeal's expression was one of tranquility and then he did the unthinkable, his hand reached up.

Gabriel's heart beat pounded in his chest. There _was _a chance to save him! There was still hope.

He strained to stretch his hand as far as it would go, and though Danyeal was so close to him, his hand just wouldn't reach.

Danyeal never took his eyes off him the entire time, but his gaze shifted past Gabriel's shoulder for a fraction of a second, and then, he stopped. His calm look was still in place, but there was something noticeably different. Gabriel didn't have a word to describe it. It was the look Danyeal gave him when he did something brave, or said something funny to make him smile. That look of total adoration.

Acceptance.

Gabriel knew at once before Danyeal even did it, and he was powerless to do anything when he did. His brother, who he would gladly give his life in exchange for his own, denied him.

Danyeal stopped reaching.

Gabriel stopped breathing. His body suddenly felt like lead, but he was being pulled up by someone above the water's surface.

Taking him away…

"Nooo!"

_No! Danyeal…_

Gabriel tried to fight whatever was holding him. He would fight for this! He kept on reaching despite everything. Despite the fact that he was being pulled upward. Despite the fact the Danyeal was getting further and further away, despite the fact that Danyeal had stopped trying.

He would try.

He would fight for them both if he had to! Noting else mattered.

Nothing.

"Danyeal! Don't leave me!"

His face faded further into the depths.

"Please, don't leave me!"

**  
September 14****th**

"No, don't leave me. P-Please. Don't leave me!"

"Dammit, wake up would you!"

Gabriel felt the sleep gradually fade away from him and he opened his eyes. Severus was standing over him, holding him by the shoulders and shaking him vigorously.

"Severus, I'm fine now," he said, panting and rubbing his temple.

"You can stop shaking me," he added after when Severus was still trying to shake the life out of him.

Severus released him but eyed him carefully. "You were screaming," he said bluntly.

"No I wasn't."

"Then I was mistaken?" Severus challenged firmly, his dark eyes narrowing.

"Of course."

It couldn't have been more obvious to Gabriel that Severus was right, but he couldn't allow himself to admit that now could he. He could admit that he was having a fairly disturbing dream but he didn't like the sound of the word scream. The only thing that came to mind was high pitched wail of a girl, and he sure that couldn't apply to him.

Thankfully, Severus didn't pursue the subject. Now that Gabriel was awake, he lost interest and drifted back over to his side of the room.

Gabriel sighed in relief and rested an arm over his eyes, the other absently stroking the pendant that hung from the small silver chain and rested in the square of his chest.

Gabriel was truly thankful that Severus had woken him. It was the second dream like that in the span of a week. The first had come as a shock, taking him by complete surprise. And then this one, so soon after. It wasn't normal. But this school year hadn't exactly turned out to be normal either. And then the incident on Wednesday… It could explain the increase. Whatever the reason, they were extremely inconvenient, and drained him of his energy.

"Severus."

"What?"

Gabriel cringed. "You should really try to work on that. People might get offended if you snap like that."

"You don't say."

"I do say," Gabriel said, not bothered by Severus' sarcastic tone. This was Severus, practically everything he said could be considered as sarcastic.

"Shall I rephrase it? How may I move the earth and spend my time to help you today," Severus asked in a fake sweet voice.

"Much better. Actually, I haven't been getting much sleep lately and I thought I'd rest up a bit today. Do you think you could make it a little easier for me?"

"No. I gave you some already."

"It's finished."

"I only gave it to you days ago," Severus said disbelievingly.

"I've been having a hard time alright."

"Still, that's a half a days work. Believe it or not I have things I'd like to get done today."

"Come on, Sevvie," he whined.

"I told you not to call me that!" Severus bit out savagely.

Gabriel may have known Severus for a long time, but that still didn't stop the gears in his brain from turning to find a sufficient bribe for him. Severus never did anything because one asked. There was nothing to be gained that way. Shrewd, but it ensured his survival, even if nothing else was certain.

"Alright then, looks like you won't be needing that especially rare powdered dragonfly that I was thinking of giving you as a payment for your hard work."

Gabriel smiled to himself when Severus' shoulders tensed.

_And the trap snapped shut._

He waited patiently for Severus to make up his mind or at least to pretend he had a choice. Gabriel didn't really have any powdered dragonfly. It was just a potions ingredient that he'd heard Severus mention before. An item that was extremely rare and one that he often needed but didn't have. It was Gabriel's leverage; like dangling a juicy steak just above the reach of a hungry lion. With the promise of a reward, the lion would be at the master's beck and call.

"You'll have to run an errand for me." Severus tore off a piece of parchment and scribbled something on it.

"No problem, anything to make your job easier." He peeked at Severus form under his hand.

"I need you to borrow this book from the library for me."

"Severus you don't need to write it down, I'm not a child," Gabriel complained.

"Never the less, the title is fairly long so make sure you find the correct one."

Gabriel rolled his eyes.

He hadn't planned on leaving his bed but he couldn't be ungrateful. Severus was unselfishly sacrificing half his day to help him. He unfolded the parchment, and a chill ran through him when he saw the book that Severus had requested he get.

Today was going to be a bad day, the feeling hit James instantly when he opened his eyes and saw the sun shining brightly through his window. By no means should September in England have this kind of weather, it was outrageous! This was not going to be an ordinary bad day, because it followed in succession of a bad week.

Every day of the previous week James had awoken with a headache that lasted throughout the entire day no matter what he took for it. He felt sluggish and tired. All the muscles in his body felt stretched to capacity and throbbed painfully. He couldn't focus in class, not that that was unusual, but now it wasn't intentional.

The Quidditch practices that he'd held had been pathetic. He mumbled and stumbled over his words so much that he just sent them flying on their own. He stayed grounded, not trusting himself on a broom in his state; he might probably fall off and embarrass himself.

When he thought they'd practiced enough- when their movements had become dizzying- he dismissed them. Sometimes only after the first hour or so.

It was only the first week and yet not doing his homework made it pile up and loom above him like a foreboding mountain.

After contending with his slump for a full nine days, Remus suggested that he see Madam Pomfrey for a check up. Sirius was adamant that it was girl trouble and Peter just shrugged; both of their ideas sounded plausible to him.

Sirius could be stubborn sometimes, so without him knowing, James snuck off yesterday, Saturday, to the hospital wing, expecting to hear the worst. He was surprised when Madam Pomfrey gave him the okay. She said that there was noting to worry about as far as she could tell. There was nothing physically wrong with him. Whatever it was, was all mental.

Was it his imagination or was she looking at him a little funny?

He had hurriedly fed her a sob story. Head Boy duties, Quidditch duties, and upcoming N.E.W.T.S were all combined to be his mysterious disease, because apparently problems that weren't work load related or spells gone wrong were just plain crazy. Not that he had a problem. He accepted a calming potion from her without a word.

So today - even with a full night's sleep - was still bound to be shitty. He was dragged down to breakfast because Remus was concerned he wasn't getting enough fiber. He didn't even have the energy to be embarrassed when they shoved a plate full of blueberry bran muffins in front of him. They tasted like shredded card board which was strange because seventy percent of their top was melted blue berry. He kept his eyes trained on his food and nowhere else and he would deny that he scanned the table when he first came in and every time he came in for the past week.

When they were finished, they decided to return to the common room. Remus even offered to help James with his homework. Not that he needed any, but he didn't look like he had any intention of doing it, which offended Remus personally, being a nerd and all. Sensing James' mood, Sirius volunteered to lend his expertise.

"Prongs?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you listening?"

"What do you think?"

"Good, I've been giving you predicament a lot of thought."

"My predicament?"

"Yes, and not only have I been giving it thought, but I came up with a solution."

James felt rather than saw Remus roll his eyes behind them.

"The answer is so simple, it's been staring us in the face, but luckily, your good friend Padfoot always delivers. I have a sure fire way to get Lily to notice you."

"What, other than completely changing him into a different person," Remus joked. "No offence James."

"None taken, Moony."

"No, that would only work if we were trying to get her to notice you." Sirius stuck his tong out. "It'll be much easier for James."

"Try to contain you're excitement now, don't go bouncing off the wall with joy," Remus said to James, ignoring Sirius like the crack in the walls.

"Don't worry, he'll be good as new as soon as he hears my plan," Sirius replied cheerfully. Nothing could get in his way when he had a plan.

"Enlighten us," Remus mumbled.

"I, Sirius Black, am an expert on females and us experts-" he threw a look over at Remus "-know that girls are especially fond of getting gifts other than on special occasions; little trinkets to show appreciation."

"Sirius, I'm shocked. You said something that could be beneficial."

"One must share the wealth. Well Prongs, what do you think?"

"Er… sounds great. What should I get then?" James didn't sound too convincing but Sirius didn't notice.

"This."

Inexplicably, Sirius held out his hands, and in them stood…

"It's a cat."

"Actually Moony, it's a kitten."

A small, fluffy, white kitten with a patch of black fur around its left eye, running all the way up its ear.

"Sirius, where in heaven's name did you get that thing!"

"What do you mean _where?"_

"You were not carrying that with you a minute ago!"

"Remus, for Merlin's sake, calm down man," Sirius soothed as tough it was the most natural thing in the world to produce cats from mid-air and Remus was over reacting.

"Where was it sleeping? I would have noticed a cat in our room."

"Would you Moony?"

Remus grumbled.

"So it's settled, Prongs will give this to Lily."

"Why a cat though, Padfoot?" James asked. Sirius was unorthodox, but a cat?

"Kitten, and because Lily doesn't strike me as the jewelry and girly items type. Plus you want to give her something that she'll look at everyday and think of you."

"I don't know if I want her thinking of me when it shits on her stuff."

"Oh, don't be so pessimistic. I'm sure she thinks of you when anything shits on her stuff."

James sighed and stared at it thoughtfully. It was cute in a way with its big olive eyes. And if he didn't agree with Sirius now, there'd be no end to it.

"Alright." He took the cat and scratched its head. "When should I give it to her?"

Sirius smiled widely. "No time like the present."

{}

It took Gabriel exactly one hour to make his way out of his bed. Truth be told, he was more than a little hesitant about getting that book for Severus. What did he need it for? Stupid question really, but asking stupid questions helped to keep the truth at bay. But not for long. The answer was so obvious that it could not go ignored.

If Severus requested this book specifically, it meant that he was already suspecting an abnormity in his behavior.

How long? How long had he known?

Does he know?

Had he figured it out yet? Was he testing him?

No, no, no.

This could become quite the troublesome thing.

But how could he deter him? He needed to keep him from learning the truth even though the chances of that were close to impossible.

"How can I…"

"How can you what?"

Pricilla was coming from the direction he was going, carrying a parcel under her arm.

"Good morning. I wasn't aware I said that out loud."

She shook her head, dismissing it. "Where are you headed?"

"Library."

"Mind if I join you?" she asked with a hopeful smile.

"Well, no, but I wont be staying long."

She was a little surprised but didn't say a word in case she said something foolish and made him change his mind.

"I just overheard something you might find interesting," she offered meekly. Not really as a thank you for allowing her to join him but as her duty to him. She really didn't want to think that Gabriel was interested in Miss Perfect, but he and James were enemies. Anything beneficial she heard must be reported.

"Really," Gabriel asked skeptically, highly doubting that could be possible.

"Yes, I heard James and his friends planning to give Lily a little cat as a gift. It's really silly if you ask me."

"Who did you say?" Gabriel asked after a five second lag.

"James, as in James _Potter._"

"Oh." _Potter…_

"Yeah, he's trying to get her to notice him," Pricilla carried on in a conversational tone.

"Do you think she'll like it?" he asked.

"Hmm?" She stopped to process the question.

"Will she like it?" Gabriel repeated irritably.

She thought about it for a moment. "I suppose."

Gabriel looked thoughtful. "Would you mind doing me a favor?"

Pricilla shook her head. "Of course I don't mind."

"Good. I want you to go back to my room and look under Severus' bed-"

"Go through Severus' things?"

"Don't worry, he isn't there. And you won't be _going_ through his things, I'm telling you exactly where to look."

She still looked cautious but Gabriel continued.

"You'll find a small trunk. It's unlocked. Look inside and remove the blue sack on the _right,_ with your _left_ hand, understand? Please do this," he pleaded.

She took a deep breath and then nodded.

"Thank you, I'll wait here."

Gabriel wasn't sure what he was doing, but he hadn't had fun in months. He felt energetic today. It wasn't a bad idea of Potter's part, a present to appeal to a girl's soft side was admittedly a good idea, but Gabriel didn't have much faith that it would work.

Much.

He knew better than to swear for things he wasn't one hundred percent sure of. He _could_ say the Lily didn't like James, and he _could_ say that she wouldn't accept bribes from him, but there was an equal if not greater chance that he would be dead wrong.

Why take chances?

When Pricilla came back, Gabriel was relieved that she hadn't encountered any problems.

"Here you are." She handed the small pouch to him carefully, looking like she was half expecting it to explode.

"Thank you. Okay, after I get this book for Severus, I'd like you to help me search for Lily."

"That's not a problem. We can kill two birds with one stone. I left her in the library studying," Pricilla said with a triumphant smile.

People that had proper morals and standards didn't laugh hysterically when things went right, so he restrained himself, but this day was just too good.

Was he dreaming?

He and Pricilla hurried to the library. He wanted to get to Lily first. That was one aspect that couldn't be compromised. If all went well, today would prove to be interesting.

Sure enough, Lily was sitting alone when they got there. Perfect. But he had to take advantage now that he had the chance.

"Alright, remember what I told you to do. I'll distract her, when you see an opening, make sure she gets a full dose of that powder. Don't let her notice and _don't _take too long either," he instructed, squeezing Pricilla's shoulder. This was crucial. Maybe he was a little too enthusiastic; she squirmed under his painful vice-grip.

He pulled away quickly. "Sorry."

"That's okay," she said, rubbing her arm.

Now that he thought about it, he had never once approached Lily and had a proper conversation; she had either talked to him first or just happened to be there at the time that he was. He had never had to hold her attention for long and when it was required, she willingly offered it. What was he supposed to say to her?

He thought frantically. And now he was flustered.

"Um… what should I say to her?" he asked and hoped he wasn't shaking too much. He almost expected Pricilla to laugh in his face, but she didn't, instead she smiled serenely and said, "Just be you."  
_  
Just be myself…_

But who am I really?

He shook his head. _No, now isn't the time for that._ Now was just time to relax and have fun, not dredging up things like that. Dangerous, depressing things that were better off forgotten.

If he couldn't be himself, he'd simply be someone else. He skimmed through images and snatches of speech and mannerisms he'd committed to memory from Danyeal's interactions, with enough skill to not be affected by them and held his head high with new confidence. That was all it took; the slipping into a skin that was not his own.

Gabriel gave Pricilla one last look that said 'I'll be counting on you', before calmly walking across the room, while she slinked off to the side.

Lily was sitting at a table closest to the window, taking advantage of the weak sunlight to see the small print in the book she was reading. Rogue strands of her auburn hair fell into her eyes when she leaned in further to read and clashed nicely with the green long-sleeved shirt she had chosen to wear.

Some people might consider this picture poetically stunning. Certain people with stupid glasses and an anger management problem.

"Such a lovely day shouldn't be wasted studying should it," Gabriel said, smiling easily when she looked up. "May I join you?"

"Sure." She smiled back but it was different. "I haven't been seeing much of you lately. Are you all right?" she asked, resting her elbows on the open book and leaning forward.

"I am now that I know you missed me," he replied softly, looking deep into her eyes.

"I wouldn't go so far as to say missed," Lily corrected, and even though she was blushing, and her eyes held a translucent quality in the sunlight, something about them seemed… cold.

Why was that?

Gabriel leaned forward, and rested his chin in the palm of his hand. "Oh? What would you go so far as to say," he whispered seductively, with a little smile. There was a loud series of coughs behind a shelf of books but he ignored it.

"You're quite the card aren't you, Monté."

He laughed playfully. "I'm not quite sure I understand what you're trying to say, Miss Evans."

She smiled in that strange way again, the sides of her lips barely moved upwards and it didn't reach her eyes. He finally recognized it for what it was. And how could he not? It was his trait. Forcing smiles. Was he failing to get to her? It was so confusing. Change of tactic before he lost his nerve.

He sighed dramatically and looked out the window. "You know, it really is a shame to waste such a beautiful day-"

He looked through a space in the tightly packed books on the shelf and saw a pair of blue eyes watching them. He pushed back his chair and stood up, picking up the book Lily was reading.

"How about we go for a walk around the lake." He closed the book loudly, causing a layer of dust to swirl in the air and settle around them. He couldn't contain the elation when he replaced the book within its designated spot. Perfection.

He wasn't expecting anything other than a solid 'yes' and so when Lily asked calmly in a cold voice, "Why?" he nearly dropped the book. _Why?_ What kind of a question was that? Why do couples walk around the lake? Come to think of it, he didn't know either, but he thought she might have at least!

"What do you mean_ why_?" He was standing behind her so he couldn't see her expression, but he could tell that she wasn't smiling.

"It's obvious isn't it."

"What is?"

"What you're doing."

"Which is?" he asked a little harshly.

"Please, don't insult my intelligence. I don't think I could forgive you for that," she said roughly. She sounded serious, so serious that Gabriel stopped smiling and sat back down across from her waiting for her to continue.

"Why is it, that after so many years of seeing me, and sharing classes with me, you've now suddenly developed this interest in me?"

Gabriel sputtered. "That's hardly grounds to assume-"

"I am not stupid!" she shrieked. This wasn't going well and even worse, Madam Pince was glaring at them. She scared him and was the sole reason he didn't like coming to the library.

"Okay, no more beating around the bush. What exactly do you know?" he asked

"I know that you're only using me to get to James!"

Gabriel opened his mouth to respond but there was nothing he could say. She was too determined, too confident. There was nothing in her voice that even hinted at doubt. She'd been planning this.

"Fine. I know when I'm beat," he said, casually leaning back his chair.

"What? So you admit that it was all a trick then!"

"I never denied it,' he replied indifferently.

Lily was irate it seemed, because he wasn't denying it. She took several deep slow breaths. Gabriel merely watched her; it appeared she had something to say but no way of wording it.

"How long have you known?"

"Does it matter?" she asked evenly.

"No, it doesn't." He stood and began to walk away.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"Well since I've been figured out, there really is no need to continue pointlessly is there?"

Lily hastily stood and followed. "B-But- wait,"

"What is it?" he asked coldly.

She hurriedly regained herself and straightened up. "I think it's absolutely appalling what you tried to do! To stoop so low just because you and James can't see eye to eye-" she told him angrily but her features softened, "-but he's been so pre occupied with trying to out wit you and keep you from getting to me you that he's forgotten to pester me. I've gotten a lot of studying done." She said the last part quietly, hesitantly.

"And-"

"I'm sure if given the chance he may be nice, but I don't think I fancy him that way." She looked pointedly at her feet.

_Think? It's either do or don't. The fact that you're unsure means there is a chance._

"I do not approve of the way he behaves, I find it hard to believe that-" She didn't finish her sentence. " We could both benefit from this."

"Are you suggesting we… co operate?"

"Y-Yes."

"But wont that make him even more interested when he finds out he has competition?"

"I don't know, maybe he'll back off if he thinks I'm already seeing someone." Lily rubbed beneath her nose which was starting to look a little red.

Gabriel was amazed. He didn't even need to trick her into his plan, she waltzed right in!

"Are you sure? You could always just let him down easily…" he smirked.

"I don't think that would work."  
_  
Of course not. It would take more that that to get rid of that hard headed dolt._

No matter what she said, Lily still looked uneasy, and out of the corner of his eye, Gabriel saw Pricilla trying to get his attention. He found out why when he looked over the top of Lily's head.

James had found them.

_Took him long enough._ Seeing the tall boy striding over to them made him feel… odd in a way. Was it because he hadn't seen him in a week?

"…Monte," the words were barely audible.

Lily turned around, startled by the voice. "James, what are you doing here?"

But James' attention as focused resolutely on Gabriel who kept his own on the back of Lily's head.

"Potter, did you want something?" She sounded on the edge of irritation but Gabriel knew that she was putting on an act. Her eyes had begun to water and she was already wrinkling her nose.

James finally focused on her and smiled weakly. "I've become Potter already? I like it more when you call me James." Even though he could see Gabriel out of his peripheral vision, he had to keep his eyes from flicking to him.

"I…er- I brought something for you. A gift."

Gabriel raised a lazy eyebrow at how nervous he sounded. Was he really?

"A gift?" she echoed in surprise.

"Yes."

From the time he pulled his hands from behind his back, it was over. Gabriel couldn't restrain himself any longer. He took in the scene with an indifferent mask though he couldn't be happier. Lily sneezed loudly sending her hair flying into her face.

"A c-cat."

"Yeah, Padfoot- I mean, I thought you might like it. Do you?"

_Pathetic_, Gabriel thought.

"I –I – choo!" She sneezed violently and it was the beginning of a fit. Lily held her hands to her nose. Her eyes were red, puffy and watering and she was gasping for breath.

"Lily? Shit, are you alright? I'm so sorry…" James said, already panicking.

"Of course she's not alright you stupid cretin. She's allergic to cats," Gabriel said.

Gabriel sent a furtive look Pricilla's way and she understood without words what she needed to do. She came from her hiding place, ready to execute her second role.

"Oh my, Lily," Pricilla knelt by her side and brushed James' hand away accusingly. "Come on, you need some air." She was so sickly sweet that Gabriel nearly laughed. If there was one thing about her that he admired, it was her loyalty. She could be counted on.

When she supported Lily and escorted her out, the atmosphere became tense and uncomfortable. James was still kneeling in the spot where Lily was; the kitten rubbing its head against his shoe, and Gabriel was still staring intently at the spot where her head was.

James stood and stared him down, involuntarily remembering their last encounter. He had no idea what to say.

Why was it so stifling, the air around them? He hated this boy! Why should he need to think of something to say to him?

"You haven't come to do rounds in a week! What the hell is wrong with you? H-Have you been avoiding me?" he asked finally after a long silence.

"Don't think you're that important, Planter."

"Shut up! Where the hell've you been?"

"I've simply found better thing to occupy my time," he sneered and finally turned to look James full in the eye. He looked disheveled and that was an understatement. His face was beet red, probably from being so nervous and his hair look even more stupid that usual, sticking up all over like that. Also, he was slouching, which he never did before. It made him look tired and worn. He was asking what Gabriel was doing but what exactly had_ he_ been doing?

"Don't you eat? You haven't been at any of the meal times this week and I don't even see you in class or in-between classes…"

Gabriel allowed his features to lax before he smirked importantly. "You've been looking for me?"

"Fuck you. You've been shirking your work and I wont be stuck dong it for you so get you lazy ass in gear."

"I've just realized something interesting; have you noticed- well of course you have it's a bad habit of yours- but do you know that you often resort to language whenever I've stated the truth or you're at a loss for words. Normally I wouldn't point out something as embarrassing as your low intellect but-"

"Shut your hole! That's not the point!"

"Oh I'm sorry, what is?"

"What did you give Lily? She is _not _allergic to cats."

"Did you just answer a question with another-"

"What did you do to Lily?"

"Why do you always blame me for you idiotic mistakes?"

"I know it was you!"

"Me?" Gabriel pretended to be outraged. "You should be ashamed. You just attempted to give a girl a present in the presence of another suitor. Not only is that incredibly rude but also very tacky." He tsked tsked and didn't bother hiding the smile.

"You are not a suitor, just a stuck up, persistent piece of shit!"

"At least I didn't try to kill her by giving her a dirty cat. All those fleas nearly made the girl die of a sneezing fit. You really are inconsiderate aren't you," he laughed, and lifted his hands to his face when James folded his arms into fist to take a swing.

"Arghh!" James cornered Gabriel against a shelf of books and made throttling motions with is hands, curling and uncurling his fingers but not daring to actually touch the annoying boy "Merlin! You make me so fucking angry. You stay away from me and you stay away form Lily. And here-" James picked up the purring cat and shoved it in Gabriel's arms.

"What am I suppose to do with this," he asked with disdain.

James shoved his hands in his pockets and stalked away. He replied without looking back. "How the fuck should I know? Do what stuck up little fuckers do with cats, eat it or something."

Gabriel chuckled to himself. "Planter," James stopped but didn't look back. "I'll concede it was a good plan on your part, but I'm afraid you're years too early to wage a war with me. As I told you before, I am a suitor. I'm in this game, and I play to win."

James flipped him off and continued walking away again. Gabriel breathed in a victorious breath.

Today had gone well, and he wanted to stay in bed, how ridiculous. It could only get better from now on he thought, then he felt something wet seeping through his fingers and the satisfied mewling from the creature currently sitting in his hands. He would not look down.

{}

Remus and Peter were engaged in a game of Wizards chess when James finally returned though the portrait hole. Sirius was lounging in one of the chairs with his eyes closed and James dropped down beside him without a word.

Nobody asked a single question. They knew better than to ask about sessions with Lily until days after when the shock had died down and the rejection settled in. Sirius opened one eye and surveyed James for a long time. His expression was dark, Sirius would even go so far as to say angry, but James had returned without the kitten so there was hope yet.

"How'd it go mate?"

"Not good," James replied simply.

"She didn't like it? Outrageous! I analyzed that for days. The kitten was foolproof-"

"Monte was there." James rubbed his eyes.

Peter and Remus who had been pretending to be not listening, froze in the middle of play.

"What? How? Why? Whe-"

"Somehow, he found out about the cat-"

"Kitten," Sirius corrected.

James glared at him. "_Somehow,_ he managed to find out about the _kitten_," he paused and then Sirius nodded for him to continue. "He did something to Lily, gave her something- it was no coincidence he was there! Made it look like she was allergic… He won't get away with this. He had the balls, the fucking brazen balls, to tell me that he was a _suitor_. A suitor!" James snorted. "Who the hell says _suitor _anyway!"

Sirius was slack jawed. He just stared at James with wide eyes.

"I'm going to get him; I swear I'll have him writhing in pain like the dirty, low down, no good fog that he is. Shit, I just hate him!"

Sirius still said nothing.

"What? I'm allowed a tantrum aren't I!"

"It's not that."

"Then what…"

"Nothing, except… he's good."

"Padfoot, could you please not be in awe at what he does!"

"Wait what happened to the _cat_," Remus asked, sneering at Sirius when he cringed.

"He or she is fine, Moony," James answered.

Sirius was quiet for a while and then he looked at James with a silly pout. "You know, I think I hate that bastard too. Let's crush him, Prongs." He said this with a straight face causing James to laugh; his chest deflating and releasing so much of the dead weight that he felt lighter than he had in days.

James was in a slightly better mood for the day. He didn't feel tired anymore and he even got some of his home work done.

Nine o'clock found him travelling down the same hallway that he'd been waiting patiently but to no avail in for the last week. He told himself that it was habit, he should just do his rounds, but someone coughed lightly and when he looked up, all he could do was stare. Monte was leaning against the window with a lollipop sticking out of his mouth and glaring at him defiantly with those eyes. He stood stock still for a moment before adjusting the glasses on his nose and glaring back with equal intensity.


	8. Chapter 8

**September 20****th**

An entire week had passed since Lily had agreed that she and Gabriel 'combine their efforts for a similar cause', as she had pleasantly put it. Gabriel just said that they were pretending to date to get James off her case and to effectively ruffle his feathers.

It was going surprisingly well. Better than he had anticipated anyway. It was easier pretending to be her boyfriend than he had originally thought. All he had to do was be seen with her and pretend to have intense conversations with her for specific periods of time.

Of course he had known that his plan would entail spending more time with her but he was surprised at how easy it was. He had to marvel at the immense difference between her and Pricilla.

Gabriel found it hard to be in Pricilla's presence for too long. Her voice would begin to grate on his skin from her ceaseless chatter until he'd be forced to excuse himself to get a bit of peace.

But Lily was in no way like that. She was a bit chatty on occasions, but not overly so. She was clever and quick witted, also quick tempered now that she had shed the guise of being interested in him to draw him- as he'd learned was her goal from the beginning.

But with every period of prosperity, there by default, had be a period of hardships.

"Rumors spread way too quickly around this place."

"True, it's almost as if their entire existence centers on gossiping," Cat said, his small form barely distinguishable in the two am darkness.

"Ridiculous, that's what it is," Gabriel muttered fiercely.

It only had been a week. A week! And people were already talking about him and Lily. Actually it was the hottest topic around the school! Quite sad really. He had wanted to gain Potter's attention, but if his kept up other people that he didn't want to know might know! Not that there was anything _to know._ But Severus might not see it that way.

Severus was not one to concern himself with idle gossip, but if he happened to be around when anything was discussed, he didn't turn a completely deaf ear either.

Gabriel knew for a fact that he wasn't dating Lily, even Lily herself knew this, but if it was even hinted at, Severus would go berserk and having Severus as an enemy was ill advised.

"Severus will kill me," he whimpered.

"Not to worry. All we have to do is keep him from finding out."

"Easier said than done. I already have my hands full with him finding out about…that time." Gabriel was panting and sweating now.

Cat's glinting green eyes narrowed in the darkness. "You'll make yourself sick if you don't calm down."

"No matter what, he can't know," Gabriel continued shakily, ignoring Cat's afore statement.

"I'm sure he's just picking around," Cat reassured.

"Don't take Severus lightly; he has this… innate way of knowing things, or at lease finding them out."

Cat considered his words. "Has he said anything to you?"

"No, but you saw how he reacted when I brought that book."

Last Sunday after Gabriel had returned from the library with the book Severus had wanted, the surly boy had nodded in thanks and set it aside, but it was apparent that something had piqued his curiosity and he couldn't wait to dive into it. The title was unremarkable, _Bamboozled; A complete guide of after effects for every spell_, a harmless book for him to maybe do some light reading?

No.

Light reading for Severus Snape would probably be something out of the restricted section that was old and looked like it could poison from just looking at it. This book wasn't for light reading.

"He suspects something. He's been complaining about headaches and he forgets little things, stuff he_ knows_ he shouldn't. His books, sometimes his wand. He's-"

"Stop it, Gabriel, you'll wear yourself down. Look at you, you're shaking. Here-" Cat got up and pulled out a glass and poured him some chocolate milk. "Drink it."

Gabriel eyed it warily, but the look in Cat's eye left no room for argument so he took it. "Thank you." It was refreshingly cold, and cooled him from the first sip. He caught Cat glaring at him. "Sorry," he whispered and poured some in his palm. He closed in his fingers so that it wouldn't leak through and held it out for Cat to lap up.

"Don't worry so much. We'll cross the Severus bridge when we come to it. At least your plan is going well?"

Gabriel nodded, wiping the remains of milk from his upper lip. Cat licked his lips and proceeded to preen himself.

That's right, his plan was going well. He remembered the look on James face when he had spotted him and Lily together, talking rather intimately. They continued like they hadn't seen him even though Gabriel was keeping an eye on him. He'd flailed around like a madman, eventually having to be physically restrained by his friends.

He'd been angry, that's for sure. He had been lunging and swearing – something Gabriel had noted he'd never seen him do in front of Lily before.

Was he really that angry?

It was that that held Gabriel's attention for a while. Whenever James saw them together, he would shout and make a complete fool of himself. But after the first time, he had not approached them. He sent puncturing glares at Gabriel and otherwise spread his bad mood, there was something underlying there in his eyes, mixed in with the anger. Gabriel wasn't staring of course, he just happened to notice.

Potter was hurt. It was easy to locate under his petulant mask.

Gabriel just wanted to tease him. That's all he was doing, teasing. Payback for continually harassing Severus and just being Potter.

Could Potter really feel _that_ strongly towards her? Lily? She always acted coldly and walked away amidst his protests, but she too looked on edge afterwards. But he had just chalked that up to the mysterious nature of girls.

Potter never ever looked at her in a bad way, but always glared at him, like he had taken her against her will. She had agreed. No, not even agreed, suggested!

Potter's looks of contempt were different from usual, he could feel them all the way trough his skin like a disease.

Thinking about it, that look that the boy gave him, made Gabriel a bit uneasy.

"What," Cat asked.

Gabriel looked at him quizzically.

"You're face just turned sad all of a sudden."  
_  
Sad?_

"Its nothing," he answered quietly and laid back. It was nothing. Cat crawled on his belly and stood on his chest watching him. "You should try to get some sleep."

"Will I be able to talk to you again? Or do you think it's because its three in the morning that I can hear you talking?"

Cat didn't reply, he settled down and curled into a ball of Gabriel's stomach. He closed his eyes too, finally managing to feel sleepy but soon felt himself being shaken awake.

He opened his eyes hesitantly.

"You said to wake you at nine if you managed to get some sleep."

Morning already! "Good Morning. Thank you, Severus."

Severus was staring distastefully at his belly, where he looked and saw Cat and also the wet spot in his night shirt under it.

Gabriel's eyes twitched but Severus had no sympathy. "You can thank me by not talking to that thing all hours of the morning in your sleep."

He flushed. "He's a very interesting conversationalist, you know. And his name is Cat." Gabriel removed the cat and wrinkled his nose at the smell.

"Dig all the way into the imaginative well for that one, eh?" Severus couldn't contain the self satisfied smirk. "No mater how you look it, it's your fault for bringing that thing with you."

"I didn't bring him, he came here on his own."

"There is no way that a cat could maneuver its way through this school to find its way here! I would have to have followed you!"

Gabriel laughed. "Don't underestimate the power of cats Severus. They can do anything once they put their minds to it."

"Then why don't you suggest he put his mind to not urinating wherever he feels like," Severus said, shaking his head at their idle conversation, but his dark eyes were still glinting with amusement.

If only he'd be idle and loosen up more. Not everything they said had to have a point or purpose to it. Maybe that was what he liked about his bantering with Potter…. No! he didn't like him! He liked the banter but not like _like_…

"What did want me to wake you for?"

"Huh?"

"What did you have to do today?"

"Er…" _lie, lie, think of a lie! Quick! Shoot, if I hesitate too long he'll get suspicious! "_I have to… do that thing."

"What thing?" Severus asked with a piercing look.

"That s-special meeting for prefects, that's today."

"Oh." After several tense seconds, Severus finally accepted this.

He made sure to give him a polite smile even though his insides burned with guilt. Lying to Severus was never a pleasant thing and never something he enjoyed, but sadly, it occurred at a frightening regularity.

{}

It was another on of those wonderfully rare, sunny September days, Lily admired through her window. They were always a treat, basking in a little post- summer sunshine on the grounds instead of being cooped up. She never really liked to feel so enclosed, and that was how the school made her feel sometimes. Like a caged bird.

She tried to tell herself that it was the promise of a pleasant day in the sunny outdoors that caused a feeling of anxiety to settle in her stomach and not the company who would be joining her. Why would _his_ company stir anything within her but scorn?

He had tried to use her. _Use her,_ just for his own selfish reasons. Like she would allow herself to be fooled so easily! At least he had the maturity not to deny it, though hearing it so casually admitted stung a little.

She had seen through his façade from his first approach to her, though admittedly she wanted to believe that she was wrong. He didn't look at her twice when James wasn't around, and though never rude, he always just had an air of polite detachment. But when James was indeed around, she became his sole focus. How could she not figure out his intentions?

She sighed despondently and moved from her bed to pull out her trunk from beneath it and rummage through it. Her close friend Alice, who up until that point had been pretending to be asleep, sat up and rested on her elbow to watch Lily curiously.

"Getting ready for your big date?" she jabbed playfully.

"It is not a date," Lily said before she could stop herself.

"Oh come on Lily, if it's not a date then what is it?"

"It's… nothing."

Alice rolled her eyes. "I don't know you keep saying that." She stretched and flopped back into her bed. "You're dating one of the hottest blokes in the entire school."

"Oh… I hadn't noticed," she lied. She had.

Alice didn't believe a lick of that and her skeptical expression told Lily that she was fighting a losing battle.

"You hadn't noticed," she asked, outraged. "I know you're a prude but even you know he's got fans. I didn't want to tell you this, but girls are plotting you're demise. You've boldly gone where no girl has gone before."

"Don't judge a book by his cover, Ally," she told her friend solemnly. She thoroughly convinced herself that that was not what she was doing. She had sufficient knowledge – a weeks worth – to back up her claims. She knew he was more than a pretty face. A wolf in sheep's clothing so to speak.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked, biting on her fingernails.

"I suspect there's more to him than meets the eye." She uprooted a red dress he mother had bought for her birthday. Red clashed tragically with her hair. How did those vixens in the movies pull off red ensembles complete with red hair? She shrugged.

Alice sighed wistfully. "Well, at least you've got the chance to find out. What's you're secret?"she asked with a mischievous smile.

"It's not like that."

"Then why are you dating him?"

"I-" Lily faltered. "It's complicated."

Alice looked confused. "So, you _don't_ like him?"

"No, people are just blowing this way out of proportion." Lily pulled out a blue sweat shirt and tossed it aside. Hideous.

"You say that Lily, but I still think you like him."

Lily stopped abruptly, her green sweater coming to mind, but she remembered that he'd seen her in that already. Back to the hunt. "What makes you say that," she asked distractedly fumbling through her clothes for that pale blue sun dress that didn't completely make her look fat.

"It's easy."

Alice just smirked knowingly and watched Lily toss pieces of clothing aside in her quest to find something suitable. She left her statement hanging, not feeling to point out the fact that Lily had never ever, been self conscious about what she wore.

In the end, Lily had found and chosen her blue sundress as her outfit for the day, with some trepidation over its faded look. She had wrestled with her hair, brushing until her hand ached and it reached desired softness. She had pinned it high, released it and then pinned at the base of her neck, all to get frustrated and decide it looked better loose.

Even with all that fuss, she was still early for her non- date. She was halfway to the lake and Gabriel was still nowhere in sight. Merlin help him if he ever stood her up!

She found a comfortable spot at the lake's edge under a large tree and settled there; opening book she had brought with her while she waited.

After fifteen minutes, her anxiety and nausea were rapidly being replaced by impatience. Fierce emerald eyes scanned the lake edge. Couples were walking hand in hand or just lounging like she was.

She bit back the urge to swear.

After twelve more minutes – she wasn't counting! – she saw him languidly strolling over to her.

"You're late," she said with a little nip in her voice.

He bowed his head to her and looked from under his long hair that had fallen into his face. She would be lying if she said that the gesture wasn't altogether charming. But that went on her list of things she would never say.

"Nonsense, I arrive at precisely the time I intend to," he replied airily, waving her away.

"Then you intended to be late?"

He smiled at her, though it was a slow stretch of the lips, and shook the sleeve of his shirt so that it fell around his elbow. "It you must know, I overslept," he admitted.

Lily blinked, finding it hard to look away. His smile was transfixing but that was yet another ticked item to be added to her list of un- sayables.

He was, as Alice had said, blessed in the aesthetic department, but the chill in his eyes left something to be desired. His walk was fluid and steady, giving off an air of wealth and good upbringing. But who else but a wolf in sheep's clothing could smile like that after being unreasonably late for something.

He sat down next to her and reclined back with his hands behind his head. He was so comfortable around her, which in turn made her comfortable around him. There was no awkwardness that came with spending time with boys. Maybe it was because she knew he had no interest in her in that way because she certainly didn't see him as a friend.

"Is this really necessary?"

His voice broke her train of thought.

"Yes it is."

"Why? Potter already thinks we're dating. He's not even anywhere near here," he complained.

"Humph, you sound a bit unhappy. That tired of me already?"

He gave a small laugh. "I thought it would be the other way around."  
_  
I thought so too._

"If we're going to do this we might as well do it properly," she said indifferently, spreading open the book she brought with purpose.

"Studying again," he commented idly. She tried not to be embarrassed by that.

"This is why we're at this place called school, is it not?"

He laughed again! Why was he in such a good mood?

"I suppose," he returned vaguely.

"Are you mocking me?"

"Never," he said in a sing- song child like voice.

"I don't believe you."

He merely kept staring at her. It was extremely un-nerving. Her hands began to twitch involuntarily.

"It's rude to stare, for all you're manners you should know that at least."

"Heh, touchy, touchy." He closed his eyes, a smirk on his lips.

Lily took a deep breath. Maybe she spoke- or rather thought- too soon about being comfortable around him. She was beginning to feel tense, though he looked perfectly at ease.

She closed her mind, drew her knees up to her chest, the book in her lap. Monte had drifted into silence. Was he sleeping?! So she might as well do something beneficial with her time.

After a couple of hours, the print in the book began to jumble and blur. The lake's surface glimmered like thousands of diamonds under the sunlight. The breeze was just too nice. The leaves in the tree that they were shading under were rustling too softly, sending little ones careening off and floating away, or ending up in Gabriel's hair.

She found herself watching a small, green leaf with an odd shape spiraling down after being blown off its branch. It moved so slowly. She tilted her head and followed it's every movement with her eyes. It landed right in-between Gabriel's fingers and she then noticed that he had been looking at her not sleeping.

"You should give up."

"Excuse me?"

He gestured to her lap with his chin. "You've lost your concentration. You study too much. What is it that you're trying to prove?"

"You don't know anything about me," she seethed. "Mind your own business and don't act like you know me!" She huffily returned her eyes to the book. She could feel his eyes on her. She didn't mean to snap like that but who did he think he was?

"Oh but I do think I know you, sweet flower," he said silkily, gently blowing away the leaf he held within his fingers.

"And just_ what_ do you think you know about me?" she asked, refusing with all her might to allow her cheeks to heat up at the pet name.

He sat up and shook his hair out of his eyes. And he was staring again, those greenish blue eyes fixed on her with blazing intensity. She tried desperately not to squirm. It felt like he was staring right through her.

He inhaled and began. "You are insecure. Because of your blood status, you think everyone's watching you, waiting for you to fall. That's why you try so hard, to prove to them that even a muggle born witch can sit equally among them or even surpass them. You hide behind a brave face but you are desperately hoping someone doesn't see through you."

Lily blinked in surprise. She had never heard the boy say so much in one breath, but that was the least of her concerns. He had single handedly pointed out every doubt that plagued her mind with startling accuracy. All the nameless, faceless, fears that she had refused to admit or put in word form.

Her mouth had gone bone dry. She didn't know whether to be angry or… or what? The look on his face was sympathetic, he hadn't said it a bad or superior way, but just as simple as pointing out an obvious fact.

"How do you…"

He shrugged nonchalantly and rested his back against the wide trunk of the tree. "It's what I gathered from my time with you."

"What you gathered from your time with me, you say?"

He nodded.

"Interesting." And she really found it to be so. He was right. Too right.

"Hmm, you know me but I don't know anything about you," she said, closing her book slowly.

"You haven't gathered anything from your time with me?" he asked slowly.

"No. I'm not as perceptive as you think. In fact I'm as blind as they come. I can never figure out what people are thinking," he replied matter-of-factly.

"This from the girl who saw right through me and even asked me not to _insult_ her intelligence?"

"Intelligence is a vague word. I'm very dim-witted when it comes to certain things."

"I see." Another slow smile. "What would you like to know?"

"Anything you wish to tell."

"My name is Gabriel Monte. I live on the far edge of England and, no offence, but I hate it here. I find studying to be almost as monotonous and boring as waiting for the knowledge to sink in. I have a sweet tooth so I love chocolate, and not the cheap kind, the Belgium dark chocolate truffles that melt in your mouth."

Again Lily blinked in surprise. "Are all those things true?"

"Of course little flower, what reason would I have to lie to you?"

She dearly wished he would stop calling her that. She was beginning to hate it, and the way it made her heart squeeze. _W-Wolf…. in sheep's….. clot-_

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, seriously.

"Why?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I shouldn't have said anything."

She knew what he was apologizing for without asking. "But it was true," she admitted without hesitation. Why would she? He already knew.

"You were right, for all my manners I tend to be a bit tactless."

"You don't have to apologize to me. I'm sure I'm just another one of those annoying girls to you." She picked a handful of grass and squeezed the blades in her hand tightly.

"What girls?"

"Those girls that throws themselves willingly under your feet and swoon with unbridled love for you."

"Love?" He asked as though it was a foreign word he'd never heard before. "Do you swoon over me as well?"

"Of course not," she was quick to inform him.

"That's fine."

He stared up at the swaying leaves with a strange look on his face. For a moment, Lily thought he'd forgotten that she was there. He looked about ready to close his eyes and drift off to sleep but instead took a piece of chocolate from his pocket.

He really did like those things.

"Do you think they really love me, flower?"

Lily was silent. No, was the logical answer, but somehow she didn't want to say it.

"I don't think they do. How could they?" He bit of a piece of the chocolate bar. "They don't even know me. They love an image of me. They love the idea of me, that is, considering, that I'm not using too much of a strong word. Pathetic."

She had the distinct impression that she was not supposed to hear the last part.

"I'm glad you're not one of them, Lily," he whispered.

"Why?"

Could he hear her heart, thumping so erratically in her chest? No doubt. The sound was drowning out everything else. It filled her ears.

That sad expression, that reminded her of that night she had almost forgotten. Those eyes, that in a patch of sunlight slanting through the leaves, shimmered and narrowed in thought. His face, that devious smirk his lips formed when he glanced across at her…

"Because, I've always had a particular fondness, for flowers."


	9. Chapter 9

September 29th

_I've been watching Monte for a fortnight now. I haven't found out much but here's what I've got. He's a Pureblood. Rich, spoiled son of a bitch. He's tall. My height, about five foot nine or six feet flat; lanky but not skinny. Black hair past shoulder length. Longer than Sirius' (way too long). Greenish eyes, I suppose. Always looks tired ( must be from lugging around that enormous ego all day)._

I don't him see with anyone we could use as a weakness. Snivellus, and a Slytherin girl seem to be his only friends. If he's not with them, then he's usually alone. He likes sweets. A lot. He uses seven sugars in his tea. Seven! And he's 'always' drinking tea. For breakfast, he eats pancakes with a boat load of syrup and equal amounts of butter. Lots of strawberries. Lunch is about the only time he eats normally. He often skips dinner, if not, he only eats dessert. Triple helpings. He's going to die from diabetes but we can only be so lucky.

He disappears at night after rounds but I can't follow him because I keep forgetting the stupid invisibility cloak. I know he's up to something, I can smell it.

"Planter, what is it you're writing over there?"

James pinched his quill and folded his lips. _Ignore him._ On the other side of the room, Monte was balancing his chair on its back legs with his own on the desk in front. He was twirling his wand idly.  
_  
Fucking waste of a Saturday, that's what this is._

How had he gotten himself into this situation? He didn't exactly know. When he woke up, there was a nasty storm raging outside. Damn weather decided to turn normal again.

Finally.

He was about ready to slip back under the covers and sleep the day away when Sirius unceremoniously yanked them off and insisted that they have a talk.

"What are we going to do about this?" Sirius had demanded. He was taking it just as badly or even worse than James was.

James knew, or at least dearly hoped, that Lily hadn't really fallen for Monte. She had more taste, he was sure, but Monte was crafty. The kitten incident wizened him up to that fact quickly. But there were still the rumors, and the fact that he and Lily were together a lot more. That could mean anything, it could even mean the worst among the anythings.

He looked into Sirius' fiercely shinning grey eyes and resigned himself to do what he knew he shouldn't.

He gave in and asked if he had any ideas to ease the situation a little.

Sirius had smiled instantly and took out a bouquet of white Lilies, which James wasn't altogether sure about.

"Isn't that a bit well….cliché?"

Sirius was having trouble coping with the fact that one of his plans had failed, him being a self-proclaimed female expert. "Just give her the damn flowers and make sure she's alone," Sirius shouted.

Remus, who was one bed over, stayed unnaturally quiet through the whole conversation.

"Probably taking advantage of this wonderful sleeping weather."

"Don't be stupid, Prongs. You've got to be kidding me. Sleep at a time like this? That's why Moony's in that pitiful state."

"I heard that Sirius," Remus said over his shoulder.

"Rain has been shown to drastically increase romantic thoughts and feelings in females thirteen to forty-five, and males fifteen to nineteen," Sirius said knowingly, dropping the bunch of flowers on James' lap.

"What the hell? Says who?"

"Says me. The expert."He stroked his nonexistent beard profoundly.

James hated to question Sirius' logic, but not because he often turned out to be right, but because it would like trying to move mountains. He grudgingly eyed Remus. He looked so comfortable, but he had a feeling that if he didn't go, Sirius wouldn't stop murdering him with his eyes.

"Fine, I'm going."

He unwillingly dressed and tried his best to find Lily, hiding yet another one of Sirius's _brilliant _gifts behind his back. Funny how Sirius sent him scampering while he was no doubt still in bed.

Halfway through his search, it occurred to him- as all rational ideas normally do- that maybe Lily, having common sense herself, was still in bed as well. She wasn't in the common room, library, or some of the rooms he'd checked and she certainly couldn't be outside in this weather.  
_  
That bastard, Padfoot._

James clenched his fist when he thought about how retarded he could be sometimes for falling into Sirius' schemes.

Maybe he wasn't minding his own business.

Why did people always say that when they fall? It isn't possible to be walking and looking backwards so falling while moving forward makes it entirely their fault.

Because James _was _minding his business. He just failed to notice a foot that was stuck out in front of him with nothing but bad intent.

He fell flat on his face and the bouquet was squashed by the same foot.

No problem, he was feeling generous today. He would just pick himself up, repair the flowers with a quick spell and let whoever it was go with a warning.

That was what he had planned to do, until he heard "oops" from the most annoying tone that held anything but remorse.

His hands acted on their own. He didn't mean to attack him. Which explained how he got himself in a Saturday detention, when he could have been in bed.

"Just because we're in the same room doesn't mean you have to talk to me," James snapped.

"I know but I can't help. You remind me of a doll I once had."

"You once had a _doll_? Figures. Let me guess, it mysteriously combusted right?" James joked.

"No, I accidentally poked it with a knife and it bled to death."

"If it's a doll, then how could it bleed to death?"

"I've often asked myself that question."

James made a frustrated noise at the stupidity of their exchange. "Just shut up. It's your fault that we're here anyway."

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is!"

"Either you have very poor memory or you're just extremely stupid, I'm leaning to the latter, but you're the one who tried to kill me and got us here."

James grunted. Monte had painstakingly dragged the desk he was sitting at away from the window and placed it close to the door, then dragged the chair- making sure the metal scrapped- over to the table, so that he faced away from the window. And though he was being his annoying ass self, saying stupid things to effectively piss James off, he didn't quite seem up to par to his usual standards.

He was still behaving the same but his insults felt, dulled. They weren't backed by a sneer, malicious smirk or even a nasty smile.

He was just talking.

What an irritating, unpredictable person. James ignored him and scribbled to his assessment _multiple personalities.  
_  
"But I never would have thought Lila to be so temperamental," Monte continued.

"Lila?" He could play along.

"Red- head, current object of your so-called affection."

"Lily."

James glowered even though he knew the mispronunciation of her name was deliberate. His feet began shaking.

"…Right, what did I say?"

"Why do you keep trying to make conversation."

"Why should I keep track of your little girlfriend's name."

"Isn't she supposed to be_ your_, girlfriend?" James asked rhetorically.

He was proud of himself for keeping his calm for so long and for having faith in Lily. Judging by Monte's behavior, they were not together. Another pile of worries he could discard.

"Oh… right. How are you coming to terms with that by the way?"

"Don't ask so casually, you stupid shit!"

James saw it, the ghost of a smile, while trying to avoid his burning ears.

_Sadistic, blunt.  
_  
"What are you writing, Planter."

"Just leave me alone! I do not want to talk to you!"

"…Alright."

And Monte did go quiet. _Since when does he listen to me,_ James wondered. On the brigh side he did have the quiet back, so he went back to focusing on his musings but did Monte really stop talking because he told him to? He chewed on the end of his quill.

"Monte?"

"Yes?"

James didn't think he would answer, furthermore so politely. "Why aren't you talking?"

"You said not to."

"And…"

"And so, I'm not." He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"So you listen to me now?"

No reply.

"Why do you do that?" James was close to losing his temper.

"Do what."

"Be completely annoying one minute and then be…"

"Be…?" Monte left the question hanging, waiting for his answer.

"All sulky and stupid."

There was a moment's pause which James found suspicious.

"It's just your imagination."

"Like hell it is. Do I look stupid?"

"Yes." Another unsuppressed little smile.

James gritted his teeth. "Why you…"

"At any rate, just forget about it."

"I may be stupid, but I'm not blind."

"I think I'd prefer you blind."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're right, just because we're in the same room doesn't mean we have to converse."

"Oh, so you're allowed to bug me but it doesn't work visa versa?" James asked incredulously.

"You asked me to stop and I did so could you please stop now."

"No," James said stubbornly.

Gabriel sighed. "I'm not in the mood for this."

He wasn't in the mood for this. Who did he think he was? _Stupid prick._

James watched him, for research purposes of course. Monte was looking- more like staring- at one spot on the wall. He didn't turn his head in the slightest. It even looked like he was holding his breath, trying not to move.

This unnatural behavior caught James' attention.

"Why did you move?" James called across the room a little louder than needed. The unused classroom Lily had shoved them in was fairly small, but they had immediately cordoned off their respective sides when they came in and stuck to their assigned area, separated by an invisible line.

It wasn't possible that Monte didn't hear him- there were no other sounds- but he didn't reply.

"Why did you move?" James persisted.

"Because I wanted to," Monte answered after a while.

"Liar."

"Like I need to please you," he bit back a little harshly.

"You don't, but, unfortunately, I'm not letting off that easily."

Gabriel's eyes flicked over to him, alarm visible in them.

"So tell me, what is it exactly that has you sporting the 'deer caught in headlight' look?"

James slouched back in his chair feeling superior. He'd caught him, had him hanging by strings, and it felt damn good to see him wavering like this. It wasn't every day that he had the snooty boy speechless.

"You, as usual, have no idea what you're saying," he tried haughtily, though he was blinking and fidgeting way too much.

_So I am right…_

"If you ask me, it looks like you're worried about something-"

"I'm warning you Potter-"

"Oh you're warning me?" James mocked. "Then why don't you look at me."

Monte hadn't looked at him directly since they came in, James didn't fail to notice. He was scrutinizing this boy with a microscope for any flaws that he could use against him, for research purposes, of course.

He was sure there was something here he could use, but it was difficult to tell considering he didn't quite know what was going on with him.

But, he knew it wasn't the first time that the boy had behaved strangely. If only he could find a pattern…

"Well, Monte? It's impolite to threaten someone and not have the decency to look 'em in the eye, don't you think?"

"Come on, don't tell me I'm _that_ ugly…" James taunted steadily.

"Okay then, I won't tell you but don't blame me when it becomes awkward later."

"I see you're getting some of your feeling back but you still won't look at me-"

James didn't have time to finish, Gabriel pressed up from his chair, pushing forward his desk loudly and then kicked it aside. "This detention is over, I don't need this," he said angrily.

He wrenched open the door – it wasn't even locked!- and stormed out.

James recovered quickly from his unexpected and surprisingly violent behavior and took out the invisibility cloak he was hiding.

Why did he bring it anyway?

He came looking for Lily. But, still he was prepared for anything.

Prepared to run into Monte.

For research.

And it came in handy so it was still a good idea.

He folded the parchment, stuffed it in his pocket and ran out before Monte got too far.

He wouldn't let him get away.

James threw the cloak that had saved him many a time over himself, completely erasing his presence form sight.

The amount of his body that it could cover was worrying. With a pained stab, he realized that he was outgrowing it. It barely reached his mid calf. He remembered when it used to fit Sirius, Peter and himself all under it standing comfortably, now he had to crouch.

These things happened right? He was just getting bigger; these things were to be expected in life. Growing up, growing apart. He shook his head.

In front of him, Monte was walking unevenly, his pace quickened to a brisk stride and then not long after, a grueling lag. He walked up and down and around aimlessly, or so James thought.

He had led them in a precise circle, even though he looked to be doing it unconsciously. He never back tracked or hesitated for a second about where to go.

He knew where he was going.

It was on the seventh floor where he finally stopped sharply and turned around.

_Shit._

He was looking directly at James. It couldn't be possible. _He c-cant possibly… see me.  
_  
James thought he'd been caught and snaked his hand in his pocket for the feel of his wand in case he needed to defend himself. Monte's previous behavior back in the classroom bordered on hostile. He might actually aim his wand at James for following him all the way there.

James swallowed. Monte was just standing there, staring at him. Was he waiting for him to make a move?

James decided to wait and was glad because Monte then turned and checked the opposite direction and then behind him. He must have been suspicious about being followed.

James was so caught up in the notion that he'd been caught that he failed to look around at where he was.

The seventh floor, in front of a blank space in the wall.

Monte closed his eyes for several seconds, and then a door appeared. James gasped and Monte swerved around at the faint sound.

He knew about the Room of Requirement. But how?

Peter was the one who had discovered this hidden gem during the first planning stages of the Marauder's Map. They still didn't know how he managed to come across it. Peter had been so excited that he had bragged and boasted but never told how he made the find.

James knew it was by sheer coincidence they knew about it, and he was not under the impression that they were the only ones who did, but why this bastard of all people!

Monte looked apprehensive when he faced the door, but he pushed it open. James panicked.

What should he do? Follow him? He had no idea what could be beyond that door and if he even wanted to see.

He didn't know Monte well enough to guess so it all boiled down to how curious and how determined he was to bring down the enemy.

What did he have to lose? He had the invisibility cloak on so no one would know. He might stumble across something interesting. He sucked in a breath and in the three second gap; he managed to slip in before the door closed.

What he saw made his mouth hang open.

The Room of Requirement turned into any room suitable for what the user wanted. But he never imagined it could be used on such a grand scale.

The room he stepped into was enormous, even by his standards and in comparison to the large rooms in his wealthy mansion able to hold their own.

The ceiling seemed to stretch up forever and some and it was extremely bright. The warm tones and colors shimmered and accented the elaborately done motifs of mischievous cherubs on the walls.

Large windows were letting in sunlight; another one of the user's wants?

Only one word came to mind to describe it; elegant.

There was a black grand piano in the very center, contrasting drastically with the gold room.

James almost forgot where he was, taking in all that was before him, until he felt Monte almost brush against him.

He was too close.

Stepping to the side and allowing them some space, he watched as Monte took in the room as if seeing it for the first time as well, and then moved forward, sitting on the low bench placed in front of the piano.

All James could do was to watch. Something creaked in the corner and instinctively pointed his wand there. He hadn't even noticed it when he came in. He was so focused on the overall impact that he didn't look around properly.

There was someone else there, sitting quietly in a chair with his hands folded on his lap. He was dressed up in formal clothes. The built of his body was the only thing that gave away his gender. He had unnaturally long hair for a boy and his face…well…

He had no face.

It was blank; no eyes, no nose, no mouth, nothing. It was the freakiest thing James had ever seen, and this was coming from a boy who changed into a stag and watched his three best friends transform into animals, including a werewolf.

His head snapped back to Monte, wondering if the boy hadn't noticed the thing either, but he was also looking at it, more calm than anything.

No, it was more than calmness.

Monte slowly lifted the lid that covered the keys and ran his finger across them almost affectionately. James would go no further, his pride not having enough room to acknowledge this kind of behavior in Monte. He seemed to be admiring the gleam that all the lights cast on them.

The invisibility cloak threatened to fall off when James slid to the floor and stretched out his legs.

This was hardly what he'd expected to see.

Monte's tender touches became heavy and his back straightened. His posture was rigid and James could tell by looking that this was something he knew how to do well. Something he had put much practice into and effort into.

How long had this been going on? Coming here to do… this? Was this where he disappeared to at night? This was a completely different side to him. One James had never seen before.

Monte didn't look angry anymore, his face was at ease and he was giving the instrument his full attention.

James didn't know a thing about playing the piano or music like this other than by hearing a little snip here and there, but he could admit; with some hesitation, that the song he was playing was beautiful, but sad.

It was strange because he could never see himself as the type who would like this sort of thing, but he liked this- to some extent.

What was also strange, if not frightening, was the fascination, creeping and finding its way down his spine. He couldn't, pull his eyes away.

He had to.

But he could not.

The overall atmosphere had him feeling a bit dazed and he could not stop himself from drinking in the vision.

The dignified posture, the movement of nothing except each long finger trailing across the keys, the refined facial structure and wounded expression that James didn't know could grace the usually cold face.

Things as devastatingly hazardous should never be combined, in James' opinion. It was like another dangerous combination of fiery hair and personality to match, along with the flash of heated emerald.

Such things…

Something inside him slipped, and so did the cloak that was only haphazardly covering him.

He listened to the song all the way to its end and when it segued into the second one, the faceless thing moved to the piano. Come to think of it, it walked just like Monte did.

Not that James knew exactly_ how_ he walked or even cared, it had been for research purposes. But the long, careful strides _were _similar to the boy's. Anyone would notice this really.

"Am I good enough, now?"

James had barely caught the words, spoken so softly from the boy's lips.

The song was slow and his hand moved on its own to feel his quickening heartbeat.

What a strange reaction this was.

The faceless person touched Monte's head lightly, in response to the question, and Monte gazed up at it the same as he did the piano keys.

A chill ran down James' spine.

The hand left Monte's hair, deliberately letting the strands stray over its fingers, and trailed down his neck and shoulders. James' own fingers twitched, a contended smile lit up the boy he so loathed face.

The melody was getting softer, the hand was getting lower and James lost control of his lungs and his ability to breathe.

"You always were, _Gabriel."_

It didn't have a mouth, but the thing spoke, its voice like ice water, cool and invigorating. It echoed from the walls, filling the room.

Before their heads reached, the cloak was a pool at James' feet and the music ended sharply with a loud resounding note.

He had no idea what to do. His head was pounding. He was found out so there really was no point in pretending. He got back up to his feet, keeping his back pressed against the wall.

"What the-" James muttered to himself.

"How long have you been there?" Monte's face wasn't calm anymore; it was a portrait of pure fear.

Something inside him screamed, telling James to run, but he stubbornly ignored it. He would not run.

"What's going on here?" He was surprised at how steady his voice sounded despite threads of confusion that had him entangled.

"H-How long have you been there?" Monte asked tremulously.

"Long enough."

Monte's eyes narrowed at that, his lips trembling. "Long enough for what?"

"Don't ask stupid questions."

"You followed me," he muttered unconsciously, more to himself than to James. The faceless person- he was certain that if it had eyes- they would be looking at him. It felt as though it was the room itself and the room was watching him.

He had too much pride. He would not allow himself to feel guilty about any of this. Admitting that he had crossed a line would mean that he was wrong. Admitting that he had barged into a private and personal thing would mean that he was at fault, but how could he have known that this was what was awaiting him?

The thing was touching Monte in such a familiar way, and he…smiled. What had he really stumbled upon?

He made the mistake of letting himself be distracted for a split second and missed when Monte's face changed into fury. He hadn't even thought about raising his own wand to defend himself against the one that was pointed at his chest.

Monte's eyes were so very cold.

James couldn't avoid the stream of purple light even if he had wanted to.


	10. Chapter 10

October 5th

It was a wide and commonly known fact in Hogwarts, that achieving a passing grade in History of Magic was nearly as impossible as staying awake in the dreaded class. Professor Binns, prattled on and on, and whether or not the students actually listened, was entirely in their hands.

Yes, it was a wide known fact that hardly anyone managed to pass, except for the select few who broke the barriers, and touched greatness. The few who paid attention.

Not everyone was so fortunate, and some say that it was for this purpose that gave rise to _him._

No oneknew his name, identity, or even if it was a _he_. They only knew him by what he or she was called.

The supplier.

He was sneaky but reliable, if one could pay the right price, that is, or solicited a trade with an item of equal value.

The delivery of the item was always swift and never done twice by the same person. His services were offered to all, with no exceptions. For those studious types who wanted the satisfaction of passing every subject but who lacked the strength to fight against the hypnotizing quality of Binns' voice, to those who failed everything else and scrapped at the hope of one 'Outstanding' in something.

A perfectly composed set of parchment containing all the notes one could possibly need.

He was in all sense, a savior to the lazy.

The Supplier, also offered a number of other things, but extremely selected rumor had it that he could be contacted within the History of Magic class. He might come in handy at sometime, James thought, so he was here to make a deal.

The small scattering of students looked nondescript. He might have made a mistake, but if the supplier wanted to remain anonymous then it was somewhat obvious that he wouldn't want to stand out.

It had cost James a chunk of his savings but it was worth it. He'd passed History of Magic with an E thanks to the supplier and that was good enough.

Sirius, Remus and Peter were all shocked to learn that he would be continuing it this year. They'd already disagreed against it. Who would want to spend time being tortured when it wasn't even a requirement?

True that this would be a free period for him and the others, and a good opportunity to spend more time together, but it was also a chance to have some alone time. He loved the Marauders like brothers, more than brothers, but sometimes their conflicting thoughts and opinions caused him more harm than good. And sometimes a moment to oneself to simply breathe is always an important thing.

He was using the lull in the classroom to let his to let his mind wander. The class had just begun and he was already finding himself light years away from what was going on in it. He felt a strange tingling running through his head, like a buzzing, for the whole week; much like the week last month when he was inexplicably tired, but slightly different.

He wasn't tired, per se, but drowsy. A dull pain kept hammering at the back of his head relentlessly and he felt as if he was forgetting something. His chin slipped from the palm of his hand when his eyes began to close, causing his glasses to hang precariously from his nose.

Sighing, he pushed them back up with his knuckles. He was absolutely positive something was wrong with him. Sunday he'd woken up in a daze. Sirius had told him that they found him sitting outside the portrait hole completely knocked out. But he didn't have an explanation to give them. He'd like one himself since he couldn't recall anything.

He couldn't remember anything after serving detention with Monte, who speaking of which, just walked in late and pulled up the chair that was in front of him.

James narrowed his eyes in what he hoped was a menacing look. "Don't sit here."

Monte barely raised a brow at his unconcerned tone and proceeded to wipe down the chair with a napkin. Had he the energy, James would have laughed at his prissy behavior, but he didn't, so he couldn't.

"I'm serious," he opted to say instead.

"And good morning to you too, Potter."

James glared liquid fire at the back of Monte's head but it seemed more like a natural reaction since he'd been doing it for so long. Truth be told, there wasn't quite the feeling of irritation that was associated with Monte's presence, and it wasn't just because of the sleepiness.

Or was it?

"Why'd you sit so close to me?" James asked.

"Well, I don't associate with anyone here and because they are sitting so oddly- it came down to either being close to them, or close to you."

"So you chose me?" James asked with wry amusement.

"The lesser of two evils I suppose."

James refused to let the small smile that threatened to cross his face through. "I suppose."

He sighed quietly. Why was he being so polite? He really didn't want to since he suspected that Monte had something to do with him being left outside the common room. After all, Monte _was_ the last person he could remember being with Saturday and he didn't trust him as far as he could throw him.

Before he even realized what he was doing, he was tilting his head, trying to get a better view of the boy's profile.

Monte sat leaning over his desk, and judging by his appearance and from what James could make out, he was listening raptly to Binns' babble, his brows drawn together in concentration.

Something tugged ay James' attention, a sort of déjà vu at the engrossed expression on his face.

What the hell was he doing staring at Monte anyway?

He must be losing his mind. At least he could admit that he was going barmy, but knowing that didn't ease the sense of restlessness.

"Hmpf." James turned his gaze out the window. The clouds were drawn tightly together completely covering the sky and the October wind rattled against the windows. He could imagine the chill out there and he tried to. A biting cold that would sober him up immediately and knock some sense into him.

An impatient groan pulled him from his thoughts.

Monte leaned back; his head resting on James' desk, his arms falling limply at his side, and examined the ceiling as if it was a particularly interesting piece of art.

Such familiarity and blatant regard for James' personally space! And yet he couldn't bring himself to feel annoyed by it. He certainly wasn't glad to get a better view of the boy's face.

Not at all.

"Wouldn't have pegged you for the History of Magic type though, but you know, it kinda matches your personality," James stated conversationally, looking forward, doing his best not to look at the face in front of him.

"Why is that?" Monte asked.

" You're both dull and uninteresting."

Monte let out a short amused laugh. "Many people don't realize it, but History of Magic can be a very useful class."  
_  
I made him laugh…_

"I agree. It's very soothing and it also helps with constipation," said James with a wide grin.

"Yes. Actually when I have trouble sleeping, this helps. It really sets the mind at ease."

Was he actually having a normal conversation with Monte? One that didn't cause him to want to throw something?

Yes, impossible as it may sound.

But how much of it was being brought about by the numbness in his brain? Having run out of places to look and growing incredibly tired of staring through Professor Binns, James' eyes eventually started to close.

"I'm so s-sleepy…" he yawned.

"Binns has a really unique voice. It's like a cross between a really annoying buzzing sound and an equally annoying high pitched sound that's so high it hurts your brain without it having to be too loud."

James snorted, his eyes growing ever closer. _Did Monte just make me laugh?_ No. Impossible. It was just a slip.

Just as he was about to successfully enter the realm of sleep, the clouds decided to part to allow a slant of sunlight inside, which by some crazy impulse, shined directly on Monte's face. On their own accord, James' eyes widened, his hand slipped from beneath his chin.

Okay, so maybe he was a bit tired, and maybe just maybe, his mind may have been deceiving him because he'd skipped breakfast in his hurry to not be late, but that didn't explain what he was seeing or rather staring deliberately at.

That single ray of light was doing unthinkable damage to him.

It shined in the boy's half- lidded eyes that were usually hidden behind long lashes, bringing their color to life. A cool greenish blue with little specs of gold closer to his pupil. They stood out even more against his pale face and the backdrop of inexplicably silky black hair that fanned out across James' desk.

He was staring wasn't he? He was really making effort to look down into Monte's eyes wasn't he? He knew because the eyes he was finding himself getting lost in were staring back.

A question crossed his mind that never should have been allowed to. Was Monte always this… pretty?  
_  
Look away… Look away…_

"What," Monte demanded softly. James' mouth opened and closed and did the motion of speaking but no words came out.

He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, his fingers twitched at the sight of the light being reflected off the boy's hair. It looked so soft, and he was assaulted by the unspeakable urge to touch it and let it roll over his fingers like… Like what? Like who? His brain tingled at the thought; something was forcing its way to the forefront of all his thoughts and questions, and assumptions.

"Potter."

Not even the coldness of Monte's voice could shake him, he just found himself watching the movement of the lips as they formed his name and remained parted.

Painful seconds passed.

There was no way he would be able to talk himself out of it at this rate.

Why was he-?

At first, he thought that the tapping noises were inside of his head; the little man called reality trying desperately to pull him from the clutches of darkness that he was heading towards, but he soon realized that it was not. A small grey owl carrying a piece of parchment was perched on the window.

"Potter wh-"

"Isn't that your owl?" James cut in, breaking the trance and missing the small flurry the disappointment on the other's face.

"Oh." Monte sat up just as James had looked back to him and got up to receive the message his owl had brought. He sent it off without even a second glance and sat back down, a white envelope held between his fingers.

It occurred to James to simply ask what it was, but he quickly buried that idea since Monte placed it in front of himself and stared at it blankly. He had no right to ask really. And not like Monte would answer him anyway.

And also, he didn't care one bit. Monte was the enemy, the one who had put a spell on his glasses to make him see a suggestively covered Lily everywhere he looked for a week last year. He couldn't look her full in the eyes for weeks without feeling embarrassed.

So, James returned his chin to his palm.

He allowed his eyes to wonder over the tense shoulders in front of him, the movement of hair as it swept over them whenever the head moved. Every movement was pinpointed.

He then buried his face in his hands with a groan. What in Merlin's name was happening to him?

*

If there was ever a day that Gabriel wanted something more substantial than sweets in his stomach, it was today. He didn't know if he would hold up unless he ate something filling to steady himself, but his stomach was rejecting the two sandwiches in front of him without even allowing him a bite. He felt sick at the thought of the envelope which he had neatly folded and pocketed, being so close to his skin. It might as well have been on fire.

After History of Magic, he'd hurried to the Great Hall for lunch and the prospect of spending a little time in Severus' company. He never liked to be alone when he read these sort of things.

If among others, there was always the likelihood that whatever the reaction, it would be limited, but if he was alone, there was nothing there to cushion the blow.

Severus raised a lazy brow at his rare presence, which only prompted a small smile to tug at the corners of his lips. It was good to see that some things never changed, especially one of the few things that he allowed himself to form an attachment to.

Severus, was undoubtedly, one of them.

What good were bonds with others that all lacked the same thing? Certainty. He knew the answer well. They could only lead to trouble, which explained why a simple envelope was causing him so much angst.

After several minutes of staring at it fiercely, he realized sadly that would not burst into flames so he might as well read it. He breathed in deeply, mentally preparing himself for its contents and opened it. Severus instantly had something more pressing on his right to look at.

Gabriel's heart squeezed at the action, and then he read.

They- his servants- had sent him a formal and impartial letter, informing him that Artemis was bed- ridden with a slight cold. They stated that it was in his best interest to know the man's well- being and that there was nothing to worry about.

He stared at the words without blinking until they became blurry and out of focus. They wrote to him to tell him that Artemis had caught a cold? If it was something as simple as that, why would they need him to know? Don't people know that when they say not to worry it's an invitation for worry to set in!

His hands tightened around the paper causing it to wrinkle and he glared at it even more. It would surely burn now.

He wasn't stupid; they could at least give him some credit. Did they think he was a child?

With all the effort and strength in his body, he managed to calmly fold the paper and put it away without showing any sort of revealing expression.

"Is everything alright?" Severus asked, still unsure of the situation so avoiding eye contact.

Gabriel heaved a dramatic sigh. "Fan mail, Severus, not that you would understand."

A sideways glance let him catch an amused smirk on Severus' face.

Gabriel took a swig of his juice and let his eyes wander around. A stifled gasp got stuck and sent the juice spraying out of his mouth in a fine mist. He thumped his chest and tried to regain some of his dignity while obviously looking like he was choking on something as simple as juice.

He looked back up to what had caused it. Potter was over at the Gryffindor table. Staring directly at him. Gabriel blinked. He stared back and eventually James shot him a nasty look before looking off.

It reminded Gabriel of earlier in class when Potter was staring at him then as well. He'd forgotten about it in the midst of the 'letter'.

It didn't sound right calling it a letter. Clipped and to the point, it was anything but personal.

More pressing matter's though, why in Merlin's name was Potter staring at him like that?

Why did he look like at him like that back in class and just now?

Gabriel took another sip of his juice, more to give himself something to do rather than because he was thirsty. He pulled at his collar. It was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable around his neck.

Was Potter really staring at him though, or did he mistake one of his familiar glares for something else? But he wasn't glaring at him before, that, he knew for a fact. He cleared his throat.

It didn't matter what Potter was thinking, he had more important things to worry about.

Thinking about it caused a dark cloud to hover above him, only when he looked up, it wasn't a cloud, but a shadow.

"What have you done to me?" James was glowering over him, his hands balled into fists at his sides.

"I beg your pardon?" Gabriel didn't even see when he had moved. Potter didn't shout, but the low hiss of his voice made him seem angrier.

James drew in a breath. "I want to know what you did to me."

Knowing him for as long as he did, Gabriel knew that he was thoroughly upset; his eyes were raging behind his glasses.

"I really don't know what you're getting at."

James slammed his fists on the table making the plates and cups tremble. Several pointed glares were thrown his way including the not so secretive one coming from Severus. If it was possible, smoke might have coming from his ears.

"Don't give me that shit. How do you explain Saturday? All of a sudden I just wake up in front of the portrait hole without knowing how I got there. I can't even remember what happened-"

Potter was fast approaching a subject that he didn't care to discuss in front of current company so he silenced him with a vicious scowl. "Obviously you're spouting nonsense as usual but shall we take this somewhere else before you cause a scene," he covered smoothly, casting Severus a secretive glance. He looked like he was trying to accept and deny something at the same time, his face showed his confusion, but it quickly reverted to a glare when James saluted him with a teasing smirk. "Snivellus."

Gabriel walked out of the hall briskly and hoped Potter followed. He was so reckless! Saying such things out of the blue like that. But why the outburst now and not before?

As soon as they were out of earshot James spun him around harshly, not wasting any time.

"Well," he demanded, folding his arms across his chest. His face was tuning pink and he was huffing rather than breathing.

"Well what? I already told you that I didn't do anything."

"Stop lying to me!"

Gabriel was silenced by the callousness of his voice. He opened his mouth to speak but decided not to. He wondered how much Potter knew, if he did indeed know something- or if he was just fishing around for answers.

James ran his hands through his hair. "I-I've been seeing weird things all day, tell me you didn't put some spell on me."

"Weird things…" Gabriel thought about it. There should have been nothing wrong. "Do your eyes hurt, or something?"

"Well, no." James exhaled noisily. "They don't… hurt… but I keep… I keep." He trailed off and slumped his shoulder against the wall.

For the second time in the span of a minute Gabriel could only blink dumbfounded. James' eyes became weary, but he didn't break eye contact. There was so much intensity in them that if Gabriel were anyone else, he would have blushed.

If he were Potter, because he was quickly reddening from the neck up.

"I'm going to ask you straight," James began resolutely, "Did you…"

"Did I what?"

"Did you… bedazzle me?" he blurted out the last part like it burned his tongue.

"Bedazzle?" Gabriel echoed in amusement, folding his lips to hide a smile.

"Don't laugh," James said through gritted teeth, keeping his eyes on the floor.

Gabriel didn't know what to think. Here standing in front of him was James Potter, person he loathed more than life itself, asking if he _bedazzled _him.

"I don't understand what Bedazzled means, but I can assure you I didn't do anything to you along those lines. Whatever you're seeing is in your head."

He turned away.

He was telling the truth in a way. Nothing he did should have affected James' eyes or caused him to see hallucinations , but he did do something to him. And if Potter was aware of that, then something was wrong.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait. I just wanted to make this good so I milled over it for a while. So sorry :(. Thank you for your reviews Flying Phoenix, tyrranosarahrex and LifeMattersDoesntIt. They really make me happy :) Continue to enjoy. Lots more to come!**

**Kay~**

**October 22nd**

* * *

James watched the sun rising slowly, beginning its ascent from the east, the sky lightening with its arrival. He'd woken up about three in the morning from a dream about faceless people dancing in a golden room which un-nerved him for reasons unknown. He wasn't able to get back to sleep after that so he had thrown open his window and gazed out at the sky.

The strange feelings that were plaguing him had lessened. He'd successfully resisted the urge to stare at Monte over past weeks and was now taking to his former past time; stalking Miss Lily Evans.

Of course that in itself didn't stop the little jolt in his stomach that happened every time he saw the boy. And each and every time he bristled with embarrassment for three reasons. The first, was because of afore mentioned annoying jolt, the second, was because he was always caught staring, before it was pointed out to him rudely by either whoever he was with at the time or the stupid pure-blood himself.

Third, was when he thought back to that day when they had shared a strange 'moment' in History of Magic. When he was staring relentlessly and didn't seem to have any intention of stopping. When Monte had stared back. When he had made a scene during lunch and accused the boy of bedazzling him.

_Bedazzling_ him for shits sake!

Could he be anymore pathetic and embarrassing!? The memory caused his cheeks to flush.

Safe to say that aspect had to be hidden behind scathing glares.

But last night, for the first time, the glares were ineffective.

Prefect rounds. Eleven p.m. All was well, there was not a sound to be heard throughout the echoing halls, and there was an unusual air of _peacefulness_. There were no late night couples, no loitering first years that boycotted the curfew in favor of a little after dark explorations. No one.

What was this school coming to when it was so quiet at only eleven o'clock?

Such disappointment. Anyway he was head boy now so he should be proud shouldn't he? And it also left room for his own late night plots to come into fruition without disturbances.

After twenty trouble free minutes, they were about to part when they ran into Lily. (James had a sneaking suspicion that this _fated meeting_ had been arranged beforehand).

He stood aside politely like a good-natured little thing and watched them talk to each other, gaining some satisfaction when Lily's eyes kept darting over to him, as if uncomfortable with him being there. Maybe they were afraid that he'd seen through them – well not them, Monte mostly, because it would have to have been his idea. Lily, he told himself, was bashful by nature.

Now he knew for a fact that they weren't together, Monte had proven that with his deliberate _hints _and Lily's nervousness did make his breath hitch. But as he watched them speaking so close together he found himself not so much focusing on Lily – a lovely specimen he studied for years – but on Monte.

He was obviously putting the moves on her, James could tell by the way Monte's head was angled, cocked to a side playfully, hands in his pockets casually though giving her his full attention. He couldn't explain the irritation he felt at that moment. He kept watching them, oblivious to the fact that Lily had been talking for the past several minutes with her eyes on him. Monte was still talking – oblivious himself to everything including James' unwavering gaze.

Monte's mouth barely moved when he talked, James noticed. He didn't talk wildly like Sirius who grinned and showed more of his teeth than his words. Which was fine. If James had teeth like those he'd probably smile a lot too.

Monte was refined.

He came from a pure blood family as Sirius did, but unlike Sirius, he didn't renounce his family and social teachings, using every opportunity to make his stuffy upbringing go into a corner and pull its pants around its ankles.

And why was he comparing them anyway!

Lily was staring at him, he was staring at Monte, and after a few more seconds talking to the side of her face Monte turned to see what was vying with him for her interest.

This resulted in four eyes trained on him and a heat rising to his face faster than he would have liked.

Lily was of course a little confused by his behavior – or was it something else—but Monte's expression was unreadable when their eyes met.

The uncomfortable silence stretched on until Monte took Lily by the elbow and turned her around, where they continued their discussion in whispers, with the occasional backwards glances at him to see in he'd gone insane yet.

They were finished with their rounds anyway so he just excused himself and walked back to the Gryffindor tower alone. Lily had an escort and would most likely refuse if he'd offered anyway. He didn't need that embarrassment to add to his already growing collection.

Dropping down onto his bed in the semi-darkness he just curled up and tried to suffocate himself with a pillow. That would be infinitely better than having to face Monte today. When he let out a frustrated groan his stomach did the same, but out of hunger, and without an ounce of enthusiasm, he dressed and went to get himself some breakfast.

This wasn't good. This was definitely not good. Without him really noticing, an enemy was taking over his life and his time and his brain. He could tell that it wouldn't be long before he cracked completely. Right then he made a promise to himself. He would eat, he would laugh and he would return to normal even if it killed him.

With that thought he gathered a plate filled with enough eggs, bacon, sausage and hash to feed at least three people, a big cup of coffee to keep him going, four heaping teaspoons of sugar for that extra zip and a pinch of salt because he liked the taste of it like that. He shoved three forkfuls in his mouth. When thoughts of a certain someone who abused sugary things in this exact same way entered his mind, he nearly gagged.

"Slow down, James, the food isn't going anywhere."

Coughing out bits of egg, James looked up at the voice and saw Peter sitting beside him looking _too_ cheerful.

"You're up early," James said.

Peter laughed pulling himself a plate and taking some of what was on James'. "I could say the same for you, prongs."

"Ahh, you know me."

"From the way you were tossing in your sleep I thought you might have been nervous."

"Nervous?" James asked puzzled. Why would he be nervous?

Peter looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. Why was everybody doing that lately?

"You know." He twirled his fork around idly, waiting for James' mind to 'click'. It did not. "The Hogsmeade trip…."

"The what-"

"Hogsmeade," he repeated slowly, "it's today. You've been planning for it for a month!"

"That's today? _Today_, today?"

Peter laughed again, his pale blue eyes shining. "Yes _today_, today. I can't believe you forgot."

"I can't believe it either," he mumbled, turning away and once again losing his appetite. How could he not remember that? It wasn't like him to forget something like this.

"I know, you've been talking about asking Lily to go for ages."

"Lily… Wait, where's padfoot and moony?" James just caught himself and realized that the other half of their little group was missing. Sirius missing was no real surprise but Remus awoke with the sun.

"Moony's still in bed. He's not feeling well. Sirius says he's sleeping in too."

"Padfoot's not going?" Sirius never in his life missed a trip to Hogsmeade, even though they sneaked out on occasion, Sirius liked to go when everyone was going. How else could he show off the new girl that would more than likely to be attached to his arm.

Peter shook his head solemnly but the happy look on his face contrasted with it. "No."

"What are you so cheery about?"

Peter was practically vibrating from head to toe and his smile couldn't have been more charged. He blushed, fiddling with his fork and clearing his throat. James was way to curious to let it go now, some of his old self peeking through the fog and he waggled his eyebrows suggestively knowing the effect it would have on his shy friend. "Well, spill it."

"I uh, I kinda have a, d-date, today." He barely got the words out.

After a minute or so James laughed unkindly. Peter quickly turned pink with indignation.

"What?"

James stifled his laughter when he caught the annoyed tone. "Sorry wormtail, don't get mad. I didn't mean to laugh."

"Then why did you?"

James sobered up.

"Is the idea of me having _a date_ so funny?" he asked in a tiny voice.

"Hell yeah!"

Peter pouted but his slightly chubby cheeks just made James laugh at his cuteness instead of feeling intimidated.

He did look a bit crest fallen. Sighing, James threw his arm over Peter's shoulder, nudging their heads gently. "C'mon we're mates. I'm just kidding around. Who's the lucky gal? _Or guy_?" He added the last part in a light undertone though the comic value of it was lost on himself when he heard it out loud. It churned up all kinds of strange thoughts from the depths of his mind that he wasn't even aware were there.

"You'll just laugh again if I tell you."

"No I won't. Promise." James grinned but Peter wasn't buying his act. He removed his arm and got up, scrapping the reminder of his food in his mouth.

"Where are you going?"

"To re-confirm." He gave James a thumbs up and left him there. Alone again.

He sighed and shook his head. "They grow up so quickly." Well if wormtail could make some head way then so could he. He decided to seek Lily out and the surest place was back up in the common room, where she would have to come down.

He was getting weary and restless after an hour of waiting. The sun had already risen and people were already emerging to commute down to the great hall. Finally she came down, hand in hand with her conjoined at the hip twin Alice Cauldwell. James found her to be reasonable but was concerned by the amount of time these women spent together. It had damn hard to get Lily alone!

He stood up and greeted them before they pretended not to see him.

"Alice." He nodded in greeting to her.

"James," she returned.

"Mind if I borrow this lovely Lily for a minute or two?"

"Only if you promise to return her," she winked and stepped around him.

"Would it really be that bad if I stole her?" he called behind her playfully.

"Is something wrong, James?"

It did him well to hear her say his name so sincerely. It really did. His chest felt instantly lighter.

"N-No. How are you doing?"

Lily blinked up at him. "I'm fine."

"Good. Good. It just seems like we haven't had a private chat in a long time."

"Since when do we have private chats?" It wasn't intended to be taken to heart so James didn't. They were having an agreeable conversation and that's all that really mattered to him. Lily was smiling –sort of, well she wasn't shouting and that was always a good thing – and she'd taken time to listen to him.

"We should though."

"James…"

"Okay, okay. I er… wanted to ask you if you'd-" he couldn't clam up now, not at the most important bit and when Lily was looking impatient. "-like to go to Hogsmeade with me?"

He held his breath.

He'd asked Lily to go with him on Hogsmeade trips as many times as they were trips. She always said "No," flat out or rolled her eyes without issuing a reply. Mostly he said things like "Go out with me," or "You won't regret coming to Hogsmeade with me" but now, he was asking, not in front of a variety of people to gain their attention. He was asking truthfully and from his heart. She seemed to realize this because her expression softened.

The fact that she didn't say no straight away consoled him but then her face turned sad. "I'm sorry James, someone's already asked me t-to go."

"Let me guess, that somebody would be Monte?" He sighed and looked over her head and out the window. He considered telling her to drop the charade, that he already knew what they were up to, but he wasn't as disappointed as he figured he would be about being rejected. Again.

All he could think was that this year was not going as he'd planned.

"James-" Apparently she couldn't find words heal the dejected look on his face. He didn't even want her to try.

"It's okay, Lily." He forced a smile, his eyes hidden behind the light reflecting off the lenses of his glasses. "I mean when have you ever said yes, right?"

Did he sound bitter? He dearly hoped not. He didn't blame her at all so that wasn't how he wanted to come across.

Like he was pointing accusatory fingers at her. That would be stupid and childish and he wouldn't do it, no matter how childish he wanted to be right now.

"You don't need to apologize just –have fun."

She stared at him hard, trying to decipher his behavior somehow, before giving him a small nod and walking away.

He suddenly felt very alone.

Lily was gone, Remus was sick, Sirius was probably moody – he had more of those days than any normal person James knew, and Peter had a date. A date! When he had none! Life was too cruel.

There was nothing he felt like doing at the moment and no one's company he felt like being in. He slid back down on the wide window sill, and just looked outside for the simple fact that there was nothing else to look at.

_Strange that I could have forgotten_. Today was supposed to be a special day. This entire year was supposed to be about making memories with her, but Monte had to spoil everything.

Ah, there was an outlet to vent all his anger and frustration on.

Monte who was ruining everything. Changing things from how they were supposed to be. Playing with Lily's head and leading her away. Toying with him and making him crazy. And Monte was getting away with it but not for much longer.

James needed to think of something fast. He didn't drink his sugar laden coffee this morning and he needed that extra rush of plot planning energy, so when he was sure the Hogsmeade posse had departed, he quickly made his way down to the kitchens.

The house elves were happy to see him as always. He was a regular there, making many late night visits and sometimes staying into the wee hours of the morning with the others, gorging on food and desserts after they returned from a night of exploration.

"It'll just be a chocolate parfait for me today, thanks," he said sullenly to a bowing house elf that stopped amidst the bustle of post breakfast clean-up to tend to him. She scampered away immediately.

"Excellent choice, though I'd recommend strawberry. It's a bit _sweeter_."

James cringed – because he would definitely not admit to shivering, not because of this familiar voice – and turned to where it had emerged, in the shadows. Long legs draped over a tiny foot stool were the only parts he could see, the entire upper body was shrouded in darkness, though he didn't need to see to know who it was.

Only one person he knew talked that way. That slow, drawling, soft… sensual way.

_Fuck_.

He shook his brain mentally instead of his head to scatter those stupid thoughts. "You shouldn't be down here."

"Don't think you're the only one who enjoys a treat every now and then."

"How'd you know how to get in?"

Monte stood up and stepped closer, something long and colourfully stripped projecting from between his teeth, and winked at him. "Same way you do, night time exploration."

"I- You have no proof of that."

He smiled, just a small curve of his lips, but even so, James found his eye drawn it. "You're right, I don't. Not right now anyway. I like to spend most of my time here. Catch-"

A similar stripped candy was thrown James' way. "What do I do with this?"

"What one usually does with anything sweet. _Savor it till the last, satisfying, drop_."

James didn't particularly like how he said that last part as he was walking away from him. Before he could comment on it or get that lump in his throat to dissolve something occurred to him. Lily.

"Oi Monte, aren't you going to Hogsmeade?"

"Why would I? Got a trap there waiting for me, Potter?"

"I thought you had a date. With Lily." He didn't have to know much about someone to know when they were genuinely surprised. And Monte was.

"Not that I know of," he said slowly, his eyes taking a far off look that suggested he might have been trying to remember if he did. "But I'm surprised you haven't latched onto a golden opportunity like this, Mr. Stalker." And then he was gone with that and an evil smirk.

That bastard had the audacity to call _him_ a stalker.

James left without waiting for his parfait because as many don't realize, his mind didn't dictate how he functioned, his will did. Take now for instance, his mind was telling him that something was clearly wrong, Monte was at school yet Lily said she was going with someone –not to mention the fact that she didn't deny it when he asked if she was going with the prat.

It didn't take a tremendous amount of effort to silence his mind and its ridiculous conclusions. It was obvious – his will said –that Monte had arranged to go with her but was now showing her up to piss him off.

Yes, James believed this was about_ him_ and Monte's determination to ruin_ his _life.

He wouldn't allow that. He was sure the boy was plotting something nasty to completely do him in. He needed to get the first strike which was always the most crucial.

Wandering the empty halls on the sixth floor, idly nibbling on the stupid candy stick, James got to work on doing what he did best. Just as he could see through Monte, he guessed his plots were somewhat transparent too. What he needed was a way to know what the boy was thinking.

A spell to read people's minds? He hadn't come across any such spell or charm in the books he'd read before and inventing a spell would be too time consuming. Beating it out of him wouldn't work either. But a little torture sounded good at the moment.

James remembered that day when they had served detention together. It was the only time he could remember Monte being receptive and… he had the feeling he'd found out something but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Why was that the only time?

Try to get the info from someone close to him? Would that work?

When he thought back to his reference notes there were only two people who could be called close associates, the Slytherin girl and Snivellus.

Snivellus shared a room with him so if he was likely to tell anyone anything it would be him. Poor greasy probably wouldn't mind a little revenge on him too. Snivellus wouldn't tell him anything even if he tortured him and he wanted to hear it from Monte's mouth. The only one Monte would talk to… was…

James loved this feeling, when a new brilliant idea hit him like a shot between the eyes causing a peasant tingle to run through him. It was so simple it was stupid. The only way to find anything out was to ask, and Monte would _only _talk to Snape. With Sirius in his mood he wouldn't be able to assist, Remus was down and Pete was… on a date.

So it was a solo mission. Nothing he couldn't handle by himself.

He found Severus where he expected to, deep within the library, nearly smothered by a stack of books. Being by himself he couldn't risk a full scale attack so he cleverly charmed a thick book to go slamming into his head and used the distraction to snip a lock of hair. Judging from the many books Severus had open, he would be there for a while.

Perfect.

The only thing left to do now was to track down the second piece to the puzzle and if he knew him like he thought he did, he would also be where he thought he would be.

Being head boy definitely had its advantages, he didn't have to sneak into other houses now, he knew the passwords for all of them. He was the law and could go anywhere in the school. Almost everywhere.

He looked around the empty Hufflepuff common room after slipping in. It was… quaint. Remembering the last time he was here made him blanch.

A loud snore somewhere inside a large, poufy couch made James jump. Cursing under his breath, he rolled his eyes and gave it a good kick. Out popped a skinny boy with spiky blonde hair. The table in front of him had a variety of scattered items; Dung bombs, packets of slime, and two vials of black liquid –all amateur stuff really.

"Get up, Charlie. I need a favor."

Yawning, Charlie blinked up at him. "James. What can I do ya for today? How'd you know where I was? I could have been in Hogsmeade."

" And miss the chance to organize that shit alone."

"Ah, how well you know me," Charlie replied in what he might have thought was a profound way.

"Cut the crap," James snapped.

"That's right I forgot. You're here for a favor aren't you? How the mighty have fallen."

"You know, I forgot to thank you for that Amortentia stunt," said James in a low, deadly hiss.

"S'not my fault. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time!" Charlie cried. A mischievous smile crept onto his face. "What'd you smell?"

"Wet grass, cinnamon, and something like a fruit." _Why did I just say that? _

"…Really?"The boy didn't expect him to be so honest.

"Of course not," James covered quickly, pushing it from his mind. "Look, about that favor –could you secure me some polyjuice potion?"

"Polyjuice? Troublesome thing that. I don't know if I want to involve myself with something like that." Charlie folded his arms and leaned back.

"W-What! Aren't you the one who said we had to stick together!?"

"We who?"

"Look, I really need this right now, but don't think that I need _you_. If I wasn't in a hurry I'd brew the bloody thing myself and wait the couple of weeks but seeing as I am, let's make an agreement."

Charlie smiled. "I knew you'd be smarter than that to come empty handed."

"Yes well… I don't have a _thing_…but I can offer you a truce week to do whatever you like after hours on the seventh floor where I do my rounds."

"A week?" Charlie was clearly not pleased with this amount of time.

"Two weeks for a little something extra."

"Like what?"

"Something to make sure everything goes smoothly and that only_ truths _are spoken. You're a semi-smart boy. I shouldn't have to elaborate."

After a minute or so, Charlie was still staring, James noticed. "Veriteserum, you stupid fool!"

"Ohhh. I knew that." He didn't. "Give me two hours."

" One in exchange for the knowledge of two hidden passages to Hogsmeade and a room I think you might like." James didn't go into details.

Charlie's face lit up like he'd just been made ruler of the world, predictably, and he winked at James and scurried off.

James sat down where Charlie had been sleeping and rested his knuckles under his chin. He wasn't planning to give up any of his secrets he worked so hard and risked his neck to find to a snot nosed brat barely out of diapers. Never mind he discovered these secrets when he was Charlie's age.

He would still need someone to assist him. Frank Longbottom – a clever Ravenclaw that helped them out when they were in an intellectual pinch or when Remus was unavailable— was the only other person he could trust. But Frank was in Hogsmeade with his new catch Alice.

James gave it a couple months at most. The poor girl was a clumsy mess.

With nothing left to do, James made a comfortable bed in the room requirement and spent the morning catching up on lost sleep – which might have worked better if he wasn't so hyped up.

He got lucky mid- afternoon when he spotted Peter returning from Hogsmeade smiling like he'd won the lottery. James preferred not to ask why and how the date went and just got to work on the plan now that he had an aid.

The first thing he had Peter do was to make sure that Snape was still in the library and post a look-out to make sure he stayed there. It looked just as it had when James left him there. Snape was in no position to move. Peter wrangled a friend to keep an eye out and alert them if he left by way of a patronus.

In and unused classroom, James knocked back the poly juice potion with an ease that could only be contributed to familiarity. He couldn't count the many times had he done this. It was the first time he'd turned into Snivelly, because, personally it went against his values.

Greasy hair flopped down into his eyes examining his now pale hands. It worked, he decided, because that was better than whipping out a mirror. He could do without seeing Snape that close up.

The only thing left to do now was find Monte and corner him. His disguise should make it easy. But he dearly hoped he was not misreading their closeness. By all appearances they seemed to be good mates, but appearances were deceiving.

Could he make Monte follow him all the way to his intended destination without arousing his suspicion even if he did look like Snape?

He was the infallible James Potter, but could he pull this off?

The first place he searched was of course the Slytherin quarters. He assumed that the whole evil area liked to converge together so he asked around for Monte, whom he learned had left a little while ago. He looked in many classrooms, the Great Hall and even the library to see if he'd found Snape by mistake and was with him.

No such luck, but then a place occurred to him. _I like to spend most of my time here_. The kitchen. He'd found him there before. Would he still be?

James took a deep breath and headed back down, he was getting more anxious by the second. When he did run into him, literally, he was indeed coming back from the kitchens –again –this time with a handful of snacks.

His face eased into an expression that was so kind and warm that James had to remind himself that he was looking at Snape not him. For no reason at all he felt like going back to the library and hexing his skin off.

"Severus… I thought you said you would be busy the entire day."

James cursed inwardly, but he would not let this effort got to waste. He tried to remember how Snape spoke in order to imitate him.

"I… had something that I needed to… discuss with you."

"Oh?" His lips turned up in a smile. "Decided to brew that sleeping potion for me? I was up all night."

"Why?" James asked out of curiosity, before he could stop it.

"Like you don't know."

He didn't say this in what James would call a rude or accusatory tone. It was more defeated than anything, but he got the distinct impression that this was something he shouldn't get into because he was unaware of how much Snape knew. He was still curious though so he made a mental note to ask later.

"Come with me." _Would Severus ask?_

Monte blinked and then nodded.

With this first phase completed, James led him up several staircases. He wanted to stay ahead a bit so he could hide his face which he was having a hard time keeping in a suitable Snape-like expression, but Monte kept jogging to keep up with him and walk by his side.

"You seem a little distracted today, Sev."

"R-Really, how?" James asked as nonchalantly as he could, turning away his face when Monte tried tip- toed to peer into it. Snivelly was getting tall.

"Well for one thing, you didn't scrunch up your face and say 'don't call me that!' and second… you just _feel _different."

"How does one feel different?"

"You know, like how I know when you've just had a row with Lily and you feel frustrated, or when you're upset when Potter frets you and you get angry, or when you're sad…"

This bit struck James as interesting. "Why would I be sad?"

Monte stared at him and this time he looked down into his face filled with something he couldn't name.

"Of course, Severus."

In a completely fake cheerful voice he said, "maybe you need some sweets!" and shoved some in his mouth. James spluttered and spat it out into his hand. Lemon-lime-citrus flavor. The bastard. Was this what poor Snivellus had to endure? Maybe he should consider having more pity for him.

Laughing –the first time James had ever heard him properly since acknowledging his existence –he carelessly took the toffee from James' hand and threw it into his mouth.

"Where are we going anyway?"

"Um…" James rubbed his hands down the front of his robes awkwardly, looking at his feet. Did Monte realize what he just did? Which was to take something which had just been in his mouth and eat it so easily? The intimateness of something so simple made him blush and oh Merlin, what if Severus' pale face lit up like a light. And why was this making him blush –wait! This was snivelly's body wasn't it.

So Monte was this comfortable around the Slytherin?

"How am I supposed to feel about this?"

"What?"  
_  
Did I just say that out loud?_

"Nothing."

When they reached he intended room, James looked precisely where they had planned and spotted the tiny mouse. Good. He let Monte inside first and closed the door behind them.

"What is this place?" Monte asked looking around fearfully at the cobwebs and plethora of dust. He took his wand and cleaned some away.

"Nowhere important. Drink this." James reached into his robes and handed him a vial. He put his candies on a dusty desk with some trepidation in his eyes.

James had never seen him acting so … normal. He almost forgot that Monte was a person just like they were but seeing this side of him… the side he only showed Snape and not—not what? Him?

Monte didn't ask nor looked twice at the contents before he drank it.

"You didn't even ask what it was."

"I don't need to," he replied wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

_You trust snivelly that much? _He barely kept the words in his mouth and calmed himself.

"What if it were poison?" he asked.

Monte tilted his head and smiled at him but didn't reply.

"I have a question," James said, turning to face the small window – the only one in the room. Clouds had gathered over the sun.

"Yes?"

"What did you do to me?"

Monte's eyes widened but James could see he tried his best to keep his expression indifferent.

"What do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean and should you think about lying, just so you know, what you just consumed, was Veriteserum," James said bluntly, enjoying the little tremor of fear that raked the other boy's body.

"Tell me!"

Monte jumped. "Severus…" he trailed off, backing up till he bumped into the desk. His fingers held on to the edges for dear life as he continued to look at James like a trapped animal.

"Severus please… to resort to this…"

James just raised an eyebrow. He forgot that he still looked like Snape. Shouldn't he be asking what he did to James? Oh well, there seemed to be something going on here and it couldn't hurt to find out.

"I had to. You've let this go on for too long. Did you think I didn't know?!" _What the hell was he saying!_

Monte was trembling violently now. "I knew it – I knew it. I told Cat that you knew. You kept forgetting things and I knew it wouldn't be long –"

This was happening to Snape as well? James didn't tell anyone but he'd been forgetting things as of late and waking up or sometimes finding himself disoriented in the middle of the day without knowing why.

"What did you do?"

"I had no choice. You hated me! You refused to talk to me. To look at me. I couldn't take that disgusted face you made… when you saw me anymore… s-so I made you forget it."

James approached, ignoring his intake of breath. "Made me forget? You mean, you erased my memories?"

That would explain a lot in James' situation as well. Why he kept forgetting things, his dizzy spells, his staring…

"Just your memories of that incident. Nothing else." He was pleading, begging for forgiveness without having to say it directly.

"What did you do that my memories had to be erased? Why did I hate you?" James repeated.

"I didn't mean for it to happen I swear. It was a mistake. I wish I could take it back if I knew it would make us like this…"

James was becoming impatient now.

He was so close that he could see tears forming in the other's eyes. What was it that he did that was so bad that he had to erase Severus' memory? Furthermore, did Monte also erase his because he did something as well? He wanted to know about what Monte did to him, but maybe if he found out about Snape first it might give him some clues.

"You made me forget because you did something that that you didn't want me to remember. Why? What did you do?"

"Severus, please. I can't apologize to you enough-"

"Then stop fucking apologizing and tell me what you did to Snivelly!" he blared. Monte was drawing this out and James' temper had had enough. He regretted it the moment the words escaped from their cage because Monte's face changed with the dawning realization.

He looked at James long and hard, scrutinizing every inch of his face. This could be bad. He hadn't even gotten the chance to ask what he wanted to and his cover would be blown. He had given him the veriteserum beforehand so maybe all was not lost. If he could bombard him with questions –

"Who are you?"

"James Potter." James clapped his hand over his mouth.

"Potter…? I suppose something like this isn't beneath you."

The look of utter confusion he felt must have shown on his face. Monte laughed cruelly. The cruel laugh that was reserved for him only. "Enjoy that little candy cane earlier did you? I thought it might be interesting entertainment for you but I didn't think I'd get to see it in action. It's a new creation of mine, with a splash of veriteserum for fun."

"Veriteserum?"

"Yes, it seems great minds think alike. I didn't think you'd actually eat it though…"  
_  
So that's what happened before with Charlie…_

"Why did you disguise yourself as Severus?"

Even now James' vision was becoming blurry and he had to resort back to his glasses.

"To find out more about you." It was apparent that his mouth was going to run off and leave him whether he wanted it to or not.

"Why?"

"To know what you did to me that makes me keep staring at you."

"What?"

"Are you or are you not involved with Lily?" James asked quickly.

"No," he said bluntly. With or without it, his answer would be the same.

"Did you stand her up?"

"No."

James' colour returned to his hands and he could feel himself returning to normal. "Then why'd she say she was going with you?" He just wanted to be sure to put his mind at ease now that he had the chance.

"I don't know. Is everything always about that damned girl?" Monte's demeanor had changed completely now that he knew this was not Severus. He was standing taller, going toe to toe with James.

"No…" James was surprised to hear himself say this. "Why are you pretending to be her boyfriend?"

"To upset you obviously," he said snobbishly. "Isn't it working?"

"You don't like her at all?"

He snorted. "No. How many times must I say it."

"You shouldn't play with people's feelings like that."

"Don't you dare lecture me as if you don't consider her your personal trophy," he spat, shocking James with how bitter it sounded. The door hadn't reappeared, which meant that five minutes had not yet passed. He wanted to use this time to find out as much as he could.

"What is it that has you so attached to grease ball?" It almost felt like they were having a lover's quarrel the way they were pelting each other with insinuating accusations.

"He reminds me of my…brother. Why do you want to know so much about me, Potter?"

"To find out why I can't stop staring at you!" Shit. This was what James was afraid of.

"You stare at me…?" he asked, his mouth going slack.

He turned away, fingers curled into tight fists, eyes squeezed shut. _Don't speak._ _Don't speak._ "Y-Yes."

"Why?" It must have been James' imagination. Monte's face was turning a light shade of pink.

"To catch a glimpse of your hair when it hits sunlight, a little smile…"

Monte was still in shock and if James wasn't mistaken, he looked rather shy about now. It was strange how the things he was saying, were things that he was not aware of. Things pulled from his subconscious, absolute truths, without his permission. The room descended into a heavy lull. James recovered first for the sake of his pride.

"Did you erase my memory as well?"

"Y-Yes."

"You know what I'm going to ask."

"I can't tell you why so easily. You know this."

He was fighting the veriteserum. He would not tell him, no matter how many times he asked. James took out his wand and before Monte knew what was happening. "Stupefy!"

From such a close distance, the spell hit him dead on. He fell to the floor just as there was a click. The door was back. James was happy to see it. He knelt down, determined to ask what he came to despite Monte looking at him in that funny way for the most embarrassing thing that he just said.

He cleared his throat. "Are you planning to pull another prank on me?"

Monte narrowed his eyes. "No."

James sighed. "That's good to know but I'm not done yet. I'll find out why you used a memory charm on me. I don't really care why you did it to Snivelly but I'd still like know. So before that I'll have a little remuneration. Tell me, what is it that you're so afraid of?"

The fear in his eyes was unmistakable. "Please… don't."

"What are you afraid of," James repeated coldly to shake off anything he was feeling.

His lips quivered, drawing in a shaking breath. He couldn't stop it. He closed his eyes.

"Water."

* * *

  
**  
Update coming soon!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I know, I know more Danyeal and not enough James/Gab action but bear with me! I have a plot! One that I thought long and hard on and would like to see come into fruition! ;D Chap 13 already underway. *showers love***

* * *

Julian Price was hardly a threatening figure. He was tall, thin, and looked like he weighed as much as a piece of parchment. His face was small and angular. His only redeeming features – which Gabriel didn't find all that appealing but saved him from being overlooked if ever he was to fall in a pile of twigs– were his head of long, golden hair that _shone _like the sun and pale blue eyes that _sparkled_ like the ocean. Those were his brother's comparisons, not his.

To him, everything about the paperweight boy screamed malevolence. His cold eyes, his evil smile.

From the first day he crawled out of the sea like an algae monster and interrupted Danyeal and his day at the beach by making light work at climbing a tree to retrieve almonds that they were unsuccessfully but enthusiastically trying to knock down with sticks, Gabriel knew he would be trouble.

His agility impressed Danyeal, who invited him to share said almonds with them soon after and who gave him Gabriel's job; to pound them out to.

He introduced himself as Julian, an island native who was coincidentally around the same age as Danyeal, and was all smiles, pointing out the different trees and plant life and places along the coast—to Danyeal not him.

Gabriel was left to sit and listen to them and pick out all the things he hated about the boy already. Like how the sand only stuck to him and Danyeal, and Julian, who had been in the ocean, up a tree and now sat cross legged on the shore, had virtually no sand on him. And how even though he said he _lived_ on the island all his life his skin was paler than the brothers combined.

Gabriel was relieved when he left, which in his opinion should've been done sooner after ruining their precious day together. He still remembered how Danyeal had stared after him till he disappeared from sight.

That had been seven months ago, exactly two months after Danyeal's forced engagement to Verucca. He wasn't seeing much of her these days but if it came down to a choice, Gabriel would've preferred her.

Danyeal was a gentleman and would therefore never say it, but it was clear that he held no real interest for her. Paperweight on the other hand, was different. Danyeal spent a lot of time with him. Willingly. Often in the past, he would have Gabriel serve as a distraction or make excuses to cut his time with Verucca short. Now, he didn't even tell him when and where he was going, returning at nightfall or sometimes the following day.

It was because of this recent conduct, that Gabriel was issued a new job. He was officially Danyeal's keeper. He was often told to keep a sharp eye on his brother's _activities_, which was a sugar-coated way of his parents saying they wanted him to spy on his older brother and report to them what they saw.

Had they known him a little better, they would have known that he would never do such a thing and that he spent the time watching his brother but lying to them about seeing him.

Right now, he was travelling the foot trail through the sea grape trees along the beach, to get to the little cove that Danyeal and paperweight frequented on evenings to scrape cow-heels off the rocks at low tide. Disgusting things they were. Anything that looked like a mutated slug could only taste as such in his opinion. Paperweight could eat them. He needed more skin on his bones anyway no matter what kind of food it took.

The mosquitoes were already gathering and the sand-flies were making a mess of his feet. His stupid slippers failed on him a while back leaving him bare-footed and miserable. Danyeal would have to give him his dessert for causing this much grief. Thankfully he didn't have to scale too many rocks to reach their little cave.

Danyeal was sitting on one of the large boulders, his legs crudely wide apart, scrapping shells with a rusty butter knife and eating them straight. Their mother would have a fit if she saw him like this. Gabriel thought he looked at ease, like he'd found his natural place among things. He was also pleasing in his formal things and slipped into the part well, but he didn't seem happy like he was now.

Julian was next to him. So close their shoulders were touching, and while Danyeal would lift his eyes from what he was doing to look at the sunset, Julian's attention never left his face.

Gabriel made his presence known with a not so subtle sniff.

"Youngest Montè, what brings you here?"

Ignoring Julian and his question, as was the logical course of action in any situation, Gabriel directed his statement at his brother.

"It's almost supper time."

Julian answered quickly before Danyeal had a chance to. "Danyeal and I just had something to eat and besides we were planning to go fishing--"

"Do you speak for him now? It's a_ mandatory_ family dinner. That's why mother sent me." Gabriel cut him off before he could get much farther into his rant as to why Danyeal should spend the evening with _him_ as opposed to his family.

"Meaning?" It wasn't the first hateful look he'd received from paperweight over the last couple months and he knew that it somehow would not be the last.

"Which means I can't refuse," Danyeal said to Julian, catching the significance in what Gabriel said. His mother never sent him to fetch him for food. Whether he ate or not was up to him.

"Danyeal…"

Gabriel hid his smile behind his hand. Paperweight; the poor, poor thing, having to resort to begging.

"We can always go fishing tomorrow night, Juju. It's not a problem is it?"

Gabriel stopped smiling. _Juju?_ _Juju!_ He felt like he was going to be nauseas.

Jillian seemed to be feeling the same way but for different reasons. He nodded, lips twitching up but not making it to a smile.

"I hope you're not too disappointed," Danyeal tried to soothe, running a hand along his shoulder.

_Who cares?_ Gabriel thought wickedly, but left the thought to be just that. Danyeal might've gotten upset if he said something so rude.

Danyeal stood up, brushing off the sand that had collected on his shorts, Julian following suit.

"Maybe, if you have time after –"

"I'll see. Maybe, if I have time, but tomorrow is assured," Danyeal answered reluctantly.

Gabriel doubted that he'd have the energy to go out tonight after attending another _family_ dinner. Danyeal knew this as well but told Julian what he obviously wanted to hear.

He held Gabriel's shoulder firmly and turned him around to back them. They were silent for a moment, when all he could hear was the sea. After, they (Danyeal) bade Julian goodbye.

Julian – who furrowed his brows, wanting nothing more than to tie Danyeal up with twine to prevent his escape—grudgingly returned the gesture and climbed over the rocks to reach the other side of the bay where he lived.

They took the route by the coastline so that Gabriel could walk bare footed on the sand instead of back through the rocky path, further prolonging the time it would take to reach home.

"You don't like Julian," Danyeal said knowingly once they were a good way ahead. It wasn't a question and Gabriel knew it.

"I've got nothing against, paperweight."

"Who?" Danyeal looked at him questioningly with a smile tugging at his lips. He really was handsome and alluring, even when he wasn't trying. No wonder their parents treated him as a family jewel, or so Gabriel had thought at the time.

"You shouldn't let him hear you calling him that. He might get offended."

"That's what I'm counting on," Gabriel replied dryly.

"I happen to like his company. He's a good friend."

Since they moved to the island of Antigua, Danyeal had 'let loose' so to speak. He took Gabriel by the scruff of his collar and explored all that there was to see. They spent many days at the beach, or trekking through marshes and swamps, getting their clothes soiled and an earful from their mother. Through the baking sun, they would go door to door, knocking and asking if they could possibly come in for a glass of water or lemonade. His brother wanted to see the architectural details of Caribbean houses, meet the people, get to know them and discover their varying personalities and ideas.

Danyeal had a thirst for knowledge. He always wanted to know more about everything and the workings behind them. He could recount all the hours sitting in the library in the town, reading books on muggle inventions or sitting just outside the airport fence to watch what the muggles called airplanes fly and question various people – often passersby – how they flew and if it involved some sort of magic.

This strange behavior earned him the title of 'that odd boy on the bay' and almost everyone thought him to be a loony tourist that one should stay clear of. That wasn't enough to fend off the girls falling at his feet, they just called him it eccentric charm. His wealth didn't hurt either.

But Danyeal kept to himself, spending his time alone or with Gabriel. And that was fine. That was good. He didn't have any friends and he didn't need any. Gabriel thought he was enough, he hoped he was. Their life was bright and calm, save Verrucca – who had been put on the hate list of the girls in the nearby area -- but Danyeal didn't even blink twice at her.

Why did_ Julian_ have to interfere, with his stupid cat reflexes and…and his stupid tallness, just because he could reach Danyeal's face didn't mean he needed to be near him all the time.

"Gabriel?" Something was stinging him in his neck, bringing him back from his reverie. Danyeal was flicking him with his thumb and middle finger. "You're spacing out. C'mon, you must be hungry."

He was hoisted under his brother's arm and carried the rest of the way. He protested at being treated like an item, kicking and wriggling though he couldn't have been more happy that he had his brother all to himself.

"Do you think mum and dad have a surprise for me?"

"…Who knows…" Danyeal said slowly.

* * *

Supper always began at exactly seven o'clock sharp. Being late could warrant a severe punishment. This was one of those times, because tonight, mother had something important to discuss. It was a mad dash when the brothers got home at fifteen minutes to seven, to dress and present themselves at the dinner table for the designated time.

Gabriel was ready first and waited for his brother at the bottom of the stair case, fussing with is cufflinks.

Danyeal came down, clothed in his dress shirt and slacks, his hair pulled back into a sleek knot at the back of his head, a stark comparison to the boy of minutes ago with sand caked to his feet and old clothes.

"Quickly, on a scale of one to ten, how much do I stink like rotted fish?" he asked, kneeling down and shoving his neck in Gabriel's face.

"T-Three." Gabriel was a little flustered by this. "You smell like coconuts."

"Excellent. Let's not keep mother waiting much longer," he said, already setting off for the dining room, Gabriel pelting behind him. Danyeal waited for Gabriel to catch up before pushing open the large doors.

Their parents were already sitting at each end of the long table that seated twelve, food already served.

"You're both late," their mother snapped, looking up from her supper.

"S-Sorry," Gabriel said, bowing his head.

Danyeal said nothing, but took his seat in the center of the table and Gabriel on the opposite side facing him. Their mother followed them with her eyes but didn't push any further.

Their father, a tall man with broad shoulders, was slouched forward, sitting with his head resting on his folded hands, obviously not caring if they were late or if they came at all.

Gabriel dug into his soup with vigor. He was hungry from following Danyeal around all day. It was just an appetizer but he didn't care.

"Gabriel, don't eat so quickly. You'll choke."

_On soup?_ "Yes mother."

Lady Montè, their mother, had her hair hanging loosely, something which she hardly ever did. It was always rolled up tight and decorated with jeweled clips and ornaments. When Gabriel looked at her closely, she was dressed quite plainly. A simple black dress, no jewelry. Beneath her eyes held dark circles. Was she not getting any sleep? She looked noticeably tired, worn and disheveled in the brightly lit room. He shot a look to his brother, who he realized was watching her out of the corner of his eyes as well with a blank look on his face.

She didn't touch her food and neither did their father. Gabriel couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Danyeal tipped his dish to his head and emptied it with a series of big gulps. He then took Gabriel's and did the same.

A distraction his ten year old mind failed to pick up on.

"Hey!" Gabriel cried. "I was hungry!"

"Then you should pay more attention to your food." He stuck out his tongue childishly. Gabriel tried to kick him from under the table but his feet couldn't reach. Danyeal retaliated only _his_ feet could reach. They entertained themselves even when the second course was brought in. It was his favorite, steak with a side of vegetables.

He missed the look his parents exchanged, too busy scraping food in his mouth without picking it up off the plate. When next he looked up, father had finally graced them with his attention.

"Lucinda." His father's voice rumbled, eyes narrowed pointedly at their mother whose lip trembled for a fraction of a second. His father frightened him, with eyes cold and grey.

"Danyeal," she addressed, stabbing her food without real interest, eyes downcast.

"Yes, mother?"

"How are things going with, Verucca?"

No one at the table was surprised to hear her ask this but Gabriel was worried. Things weren't going anywhere with the girl. Would Danyeal lie? Mother was speaking slowly, with a fraction of her usual venom.

"Things are going spectacularly," he answered coolly, stealing one of Gabriel's steak cutlets.

"Is that so? Her mother tells me you've called off the engagement to her."

Danyeal smiled calmly, amused by the conversation. "Things weren't working out."

"Why?" she demanded.

"We could never be married. I do not love her. I don't think I could."

"Marriage is not about love."

"That works for you and father then?" Gabriel wasn't sure what his brother meant by this, but he remember Danyeal telling him that father was unhappy he had to leave England behind because all of his consorts were there. That only made her livid.

"I don't want to hear it, you _will_ marry her."

"I refuse."

"It is not a question. You cannot refuse," his mother seethed, slamming her fist on the table and rattling the silverware.

"Is it because you've been spending time with that thing from the village above?" His father's first interjection into the conversation was a blunt one.

_That thing_ was probably paperweight. How did they know about him? He was just Danyeal's good friend, what did he have to do with him not loving Verucca? Gabriel chewed slowly as above his head a tension was slowly building and everyone's faces were sour.

Danyeal paled for the first time, speechless without a response.

His mother, appalled, threw down her utensils in frustration. "I cannot believe you! Are you not satisfied that we were forced to move here from England because of you!"

"I don't remember asking to come here," Danyeal resigned, folding his arms to hug his body, looking withdrawn.

"We had no choice! We were shunned, disgraced by your unnatural behavior."

Gabriel never knew why they moved from England. It was one of those things that happened when people became bored of a place. To hear that it was because of Danyeal was surprising.

At the end of the table father merely shook his head. "It's that Dumbledore. Filling his head with shit and his strange ideas. And you Lucinda, bringing him to our house too. You're partly to blame."

"Me?!" she cried indignantly, her eyes widening. "He's an old friend of the family. How could I have known—"

"Professor Dumbledore has nothing to do with this! He is a great man, far more ingenious that anyone I know!" Danyeal defended, Gabriel mentally agreeing. Dumbledore was a wise old man, there was simply no way he'd teach them or tell Danyeal anything bad.

"Lower your voice," his father commanded firmly.

"Or?" Danyeal challenged with equal fierceness.

"Marlon, stop it. Danyeal, you know full well the role you've been given for the sake of the family. Marriage…is the proper way to go but you'd rather the children without the hassle--"

"You would have me go that far? For this barbaric family ritual. What would I tell her?"

"I'm sure if you explained things to her – she's a worldly girl, she may accept it."

"Not everyone is like you, mother. I would never do such an irresponsible thing."

"Now you have pride!" his father bellowed. "Try having some when you're running around fee – "

"Marlon!" she shrieked. "That's enough."

"It must be eating you alive, to know that _you_ have to depend on me and I have_ no_ intention of obliging you." Danyeal's voice was a low hiss

"You will benefit too…" she tried, taking the persuasive route.

"Even after all the privileges we've allowed you, all the luxuries we've afforded you. This is how you repay us?" his father asked angrily.

"I am extremely grateful to you, but you should also not forget your other son. Today is Gabriel's birthday. Did you even remember?"

Gabriel shrunk under the two angry glares directed at him, hated to be included in this fiasco. Danyeal smiled at him apologetically for involving him and also gave him a firm nod, meaning he would not let it go unnoticed.

"Even if we do not celebrate it, i-it will not make the day any different," his mother stuttered to cover their mistake.

"You could at least acknowledge it, he is your son too!"

"Gabriel will get all the attention he needs when it is his time." His father waved them both away.

His mother was on the verge of tears, pleading, something none of the men present had ever seen her do. "Danyeal, have we not explained this sufficiently enough? Do you not understand the implications involved if you refuse this?"

"I do mother, but… even if I were to change my mind, it will not work."

"Why not?"

Danyeal glanced between them. "I have already…renounced it."

The room was silent enough to hear the wind pushing against the glass doors leading to the patio and the faint chatter of the servants outside the door eavesdropping.

Gabriel, clueless, was left to wonder what was really happening.

"Y-You haven't. Please tell me you haven't."

"I would rather have love and live for a short amount of time than live forever without it."

A chair scrapping roughly against wood drew everyone's attention. Their father left the table, stomping away. He said nothing but threw Danyeal a nasty look.

"You fool…" her mouth was open in disbelief, he eyes hazy and unfocused.

"You've lived a full life. Your life. How you wanted to. I'm sorry mother. I want to life my own life my way as well."

Her hands shook, if possible her appearance was even more frazzled. "You've killed us…"

Danyeal stood up abruptly, hauling Gabriel up from his seat and pulling him to the door. "I did this for the Montè family who were in desperate need of an intervention."

"You're incredibly selfish and you're not even aware of it. You didn't do this for _us_, you did it for yourself and your filthy desires!"

Danyeal walked faster, pulling him along, intent on leaving her and everything she was saying behind.

"Liar!" She screamed behind them, followed by the sounds of crashing, breakables clattering to the floor in shards. "Did you even think of your cherished _brother_? He is also a Montè, what befalls us will fall on his head as well!"

His brother, halted, his grip tightening painfully around Gabriel's wrist. He could feel him shaking, see his eyes rounded with fear.

"Or did you forget that," she said silkily.

He started moving again suddenly, running and pulling Gabriel's aching feet to keep up with him.

"You will never be happy! Never! This would've been all for nothing! I will see to that!"

It was the last thing Gabriel remembered his mother screaming as they ran through the night. It would be the last family dinner they would share together.

* * *

There was something magical about an island at night that had nothing to do with wands or wizards. One could almost feel as if they had transcended time to find a secret oasis somewhere where troubles and sadness did not reach. A star studded blanket above, nothing but the glow of a full moon to light the path, the roar of the ocean intensified in the quietness of night, adding it's rhythm to the swaying of coconut trees and the orchestra of crickets and whistling toads, the rustle of cane stalks as they went pelting through the field, not stopping for a moment.

Ragged breath and occasional grunts when the angry canes retaliated and smacked them in the face were the only sounds they made. They didn't stop until they reached the little clearing to the lagoon and spotted the dingy Danyeal had moored there.

Gabriel wasted no time in hopping in and after untying it, Danyeal stepped in as it began to float away. Finally able to catch his breath, Gabriel clutched at his sides and closed his eyes. It was so quiet. Such a pleasant change from the earlier shouting match.

His ears were still ringing.

Danyeal slunk down, boneless, his elbows resting on his knees and his head lowered.

Gabriel wasn't sure if he should speak. There had been so much confusion before. He'd never seen his brother so… fervent before. He was always calm and dignified and he never defied father or talked rudely to mother.

Sure there were some things that Gabriel did not understand, but he was no novice either.

_You've killed us all…_

What did his mother mean by that? Had Danyeal done something bad? Why did they have to leave England? Why were his parents so angry about Danyeal not marrying Verucca? No one told him anything.

Gabriel allowed the silence to soothe them both, as he was sure it was something his brother needed right now.

Under a canopy of overlapping vines and trees and little flashing lights of the fireflies, Gabriel crawled closer. His brother hadn't moved.

"Danyeal," he called softly.

His brother looked up at him so sadly that he was now afraid to ask all the questions that he so eagerly wanted answers to. He was called him closer with a long index finger until he was right in front of him on his knees.

"Happy Birthday," he said quietly, placing a chain around his neck and lifting the pendant to catch the moonlight; a cherub with wings. "No matter who forgets I will never forget." His brother embraced him then, still shaking, using him as support and holding onto him as tight as he could, burying his head in the small head of hair beneath him. Gabriel readily returned it, tentatively snaking his arms around his brother's waist. He would gladly be his anchor now, if he wanted him to accept him without any question, he could do that as well. If it was question of trust, his brother the only name he would call.

"No matter what happens, we'll be fine as long as we're together. All I need is you, _Gabriel_."

He would never forget these words for as long as he lived.

* * *

TBC ;P


	13. Chapter 13

Gabriel opened his eyes slowly, taking in the familiar sight of the room he'd spent seven years in. It was his room at Hogwarts, not the lagoon.

Not the lagoon with dozens of fireflies surrounding him.

Not with Danyeal.

He blinked away the blur in his vision caused by sleep.

He couldn't count the many times he'd had that dream, but the disappointment and sadness stung more than usual this morning. It was so vivid, like he was really there, really there in his brother's arms again, only to be wrenched back to the reality that Danyeal was no longer there.

Taking the chain from around his neck, he cradled the pendant – a small angel with sapphire jewels encrusted in its wings—in the palm of his hand, running a finger over his precious gift. He squeezed it and hugged it close to his chest.

The room was so dark that he thought it may have still be early in the morning, until he heard the sounds of fabric rustling. Severus was readying himself.

A chill travelled down his spine.

He tilted his head back slightly, just so he could glance at the window. His fears were confirmed. A vicious storm was raging.

Thunder rumbled outside. The sky was a rolling, churning mass of grey and black clouds, illuminated briefly by arbitrary strips of lightning and rain was pounding against the window.

It was late in October and expected of typical English weather. He no longer resided in a place there was sun year round.

Cat purred loudly at the foot of his bed, his head moving from right to left to measure the amount of space that was available for a safe jump. He barely scaled the height of the mattress and used his claws to climb the remainder, walking over Gabriel and nudging his cheek with his cold, little nose.

It was quiet for a few seconds; Severus may have been doing something that required concentration. Cat sat close to his face looking at him expectantly and purring.

"Severus, could you please pour him some milk?" he asked, his voice still cracked from sleep. There was no reply and an eighty percent chance Severus may have been glaring at him.

Something clinked against the stone floor. Cat unceremoniously jumped over him purring again and from the lapping noises, enjoying his breakfast.

"You'll miss breakfast if you keep lying in bed," Severus said plainly.

Gabriel grunted, for the first time really knowing what it was like to not have an appetite. "No, thank you."

There was a pause and then Severus spoke. "There may be…pastries."

Gabriel almost wanted to smile.

Severus trying to get him to eat was endearing it made it seem that he may have cared about Gabriel's well being.  
_  
Am I over thinking things or did Severus' voice sound colder than usual._

He honestly wasn't in the mood now even if it _was_ something sweet. He shook his head, curling up and bringing his knees as far up to his chest as they would go, pressing his face into the bed.

"I'll send something down so be sure to eat it," Severus persisted. "I can cover for you if you won't be able to attend classes."

Gabriel couldn't reply.

Severus took this as incentive to leave and only then did Gabriel swing his legs over the bed and sit up.

Severus was being so kind to him. It made him feel guilty about not recognizing an imposter in his skin; for not realizing that it wasn't the someone he shared a room with for so long, the someone he considered his closest thing to a friend and confident, the someone he almost...

In the fairly large trunk beneath his bed, he got down on his knees and searched through the clothes and robes and books, right to the bottom in a false compartment to take out a small photo.

A loud clap of thunder vibrated through his chest. Why was it that thunder always felt the scarier of the two when it could do no harm?

He got back into bed with the picture, throwing the covers over his head. If he listened hard, he could pretend to hear the waves lapping at the shore in the snippet; the ocean, blue as a sapphire melding into turquoise at the shore was calm, the waves ferrying an array of shells and broken bits of glass bottle dulled by the sea. They were sitting under a coconut tree. Danyeal, clad only in a pair of torn shorts, was waving at the camera with one hand, the other around a ten year old Gabriel's shoulder casually.

The trees swayed and Danyeal's copper hair blew into his eyes. His warm, kind eyes. He brushed it away nonchalantly, not losing an inch of his poise. They had been so happy the day the picture had been taken and yet it all ended so quickly.

Life was indeed unfair.

If only he could escape within the picture, replacing his younger naïve self. The boy who was unable to comprehend anything and couldn't put his feelings into coherent words.

The young boy he was that had a chance but was unaware of the time slipping by.

It never did any good to immerse oneself in the past. 'Live for the present and hope for the future' some would say.

What would Danyeal say if he saw him now? Afraid like this? Crippled with fear right down to his bones, hands trembling…

He would be ashamed, disappointed, to see his brother struggling to overcome something so small.

He tucked away the picture and got up to search through Severus' supply of potions to see if he could chance upon a sedative.

Severus, ever the blunt one, always kept them hidden away, saying Gabriel was someone with the potential to become dependent. This offended him really.

He wasn't so weak as to let something take control of him!

_"But you are so weak_ _to cower at the mere sight of rain…" _Cat remarked snidely.

"Shut up! T-That's not true."

"_Coward, coward, coward_. _You'll never reach Danyeal. You're not good enough. That's why he chose Julian."_

"I am not afraid!"

"…_Prove it_."

He would seize control and no longer let this shadow hang over him. Surely it would be nothing for his brother to handle and he would make it the same for himself.

* * *

It was cold inside the castle. The howling wind outside was even colder, sharpened by the oncoming winter. James shivered, pulling his robes closer to his body and doubling over. Damn Professor Binns was a ghost so he couldn't care less about temperature but that didn't mean everyone had to suffer. Looking around James could see that many shared this sentiment.

James was as usual, using this time to do some thinking about a number of things that were bothering him, like what had happened that morning.

At first, he thought he was still asleep, dreaming that he was hearing the voices because he had only opened his eyes for a moment. They weren't speaking loudly, but in hushed whispers, trying _not _to be loud, but that's exactly _why_ it caught his attention. Still sleepy, he had tried to focus his mind on the voices.

"I don't want to hear anymore of this Moony. Give it a rest!" Sirius was saying.

It was Remus and Sirius. From the direction of the voices, they sounded like they were standing close to the door.

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is! Merlin…what's wrong with you?"

"Where are you going?" Remus' voice was soft and pleading.

"Somewhere where I won't have to listen to this."

"Sirius…wait" There was a pause. James thought they might have left, and turned his head around but Sirius spoke again.

"Don't touch me!"

James was so startled by the venom in those words that he sat up abruptly, raking across the curtains around his bed. No one was there. The curtains around Remus' bed were still fluttering, proof he'd just closed them.

It wasn't a dream.

It was a small snatch of conversation that he just so happened to hear. It was nothing to base anything on or to jump to conclusions about, and yet it made him feel terribly uneasy.

The Marauders weren't perfect.

They had their share of arguments and disagreements. Four varying personalities were bound to clash sooner or later. And Remus and Sirius were polar opposites, they often _playfully _argued. It was never anything serious and even if it was, it wasn't enough to drive a wedge between them for long.

But this… this was something else.

There was no way James could tell himself that he was just hearing things, that it might have been his newly awakened mind perceiving it as something other than what it was. He may be a little slow on the uptake at times but he wasn't deaf or blind!

Sirius was missing for the rest of the morning. Remus shut himself up in his bed without a word and before he got a chance to ask an opinion from him, Peter was gone. Had he even returned to his room last night?

James ate breakfast alone for possibly the first time in his existence at Hogwarts. No jokes, no laughing, no company. Plain, soggy cereal, and rain pouring on the enchanted ceiling.

_Maybe they had a row…_he thought_._

Possible. He personally hadn't witnessed anything before this incident. He wanted to ask someone, to talk about it or seek some kind of advice, but it felt wrong to. They were more than friends. They were brothers. Family. It felt like a family matter, private and not to be discussed with anyone outside of the immediate family.

Not that he had anyone.

Was he popular? One_ could_ say yes. He was often told that he was a hit with the witches and that he was _quite the charmer._

Did he have many friends? Acquaintances, plenty. One doesn't just come by _real_ friends.

People he would feel comfortable telling something like this?

No.

The best thing to do in a case like this was to feign ignorance. Sirius was volatile, maybe he just overreacted? So it was wrapped up and tossed aside.

James sighed; it was easier said than done.

_What's happening to us?_

Far away from him to the back of the classroom, a certain someone had his head on his desk. Sleeping perhaps?

James did not forget what he had learned little over a week ago. He'd felt violated, to know someone had gone through his memories and erased them. What if he took away something important? Or damaged his brain or some shit! It wasn't safe to go around prying into people's minds.

He still planned on exacting sweet vengeance for that. But more curious, was what he had possibly stumbled upon that was cause for such a desperate move? What little secret did he find out about Monte?

His body crackled with anxiety every time he thought about it. He often forced himself to try and remember, even a glimpse or a faint image. Anything!

And more still, Monte's curious confession. Was it possible for someone to be afraid of water? It didn't make sense in his mind, but there was no question of it being a lie.

Right?

James was so deep in thought that he didn't hear when the bell went, signaling the end of class. Everyone was leaving, in more of a hurry than necessary. Monte was still lying down though. He was very lethargic lately, not his usual self-assured, smartassed self. James had grown used to his _mood swings_, though, admittedly, this one lasted a tad too long. Not that he was monitoring them but Monte was always back to his usual self within days.

All he did was mope around these days.

He gathered his things unhurriedly to waste some time. This was hard because he hadn't taken anything out so in actuality, he had to spread books and quills and then pretend to put them away slowly, waiting to observe Monte. For research purposes, of course.

He saw a movement out of the corner of his eye. Monte raised his head to look around the classroom before lowering it again. When the boy finally managed to haul himself up it was a pitiful sight. He looked like he was going to fall right back down or keel over at any moment

There was no color to him; his face as pale as a sheet. He looked sick, about ready to bring up his insides if he ever so much as walked too quickly.

James got up and followed, not even needing to be silent or employ stealth. Monte did not look back nor did he notice him. He swayed and rocked in the moments when he couldn't contain it. When he caught himself, he would straighten quickly – or try to – and continue in his pseudo swagger for appearances sake.

It didn't work, because when you're good you are and when you're not, you're not. He could not fool anyone – well maybe he _could_ fool _some._ This who didn't care or checked, but James would notice because he… what? Cared?

Monte kept close to the walls and when his head turned and James was in view of his profile, he was sure it was a painful expression he saw. Monte faltered whenever he looked at a window.

Then something clicked. Monte wasn't like this every day; there was a pattern to it. Thinking back… wasn't it always when it was raining? When they had been serving detention together, the night he had been so disturbed about Charlie's prank, all those nights during their rounds together…

James didn't know for sure but if he was afraid of water (or so he claimed) would it be possible for him to be afraid of rain?

He followed him all the way to the first floor, past the great hall. No lunch? He didn't have much of an appetite either.  
_  
Where is he going…_

Eventually, they came upon an open corridor just beside a courtyard. Apparently, Monte had no idea where he had been going. The sudden movement it took him to come to a dead halt, something fluttered out from under his robes, floating and landing at James' feet.

For the first time in a while, Monte looked aware of his surroundings and of his missing possession. James picked it up unwittingly, not really thinking but just wanting to have a look at something that could be a potential arsenal.

The way the boy turned to look at him, it was an important something.

"Don't touch that!"

"A little late for that." James said, turning it over. Monte made a lunge for it but James saw him coming and raised it above his head, out of reach of the clawing hands.

"Potter, don't." Grinning, James fought him off with one hand. He didn't know why he was so interested or if he even was interested or just killing time so that he wouldn't have to face his own awkward situation.

Why was Monte acting so strangely about something like this? It was just a photo with two boys. The older one was more prominent while smaller one with green eyes had fine features. Monte.

The seconds James took to examine it, he left a hole in his defense and Monte took advantage. When he grabbed for it this time, he reached it and James was having trouble fending him off.

Monte was suddenly all over him, his body flush against his, pinning him to the wall, his hand pressing heavily on James' chest as he tiptoed, the other had a firm grip on his outstretched hand, pulling it down the best he could.

It was too much too sudden and James felt angry that Monte was crawling all over him, overwhelming him. With a burst of strength he gave him one solid push that put some space between them

"If this is so important to you then take it."

He'd meant to just throw it at Monte but the wind picked it up and carried it away, out into the rain.

Monte was off behind it instantly, nearly thwarting James' theory that he disliked rain water. He skidded in the mud and caught up to it before it got any further.

Monte smiled triumphantly having retrieved his picture. He admired it fondly, but something in his face changed, and then he looked at his hands, around him, up at the sky, and then began to scream. The most horrific screaming James had heard in his life. Anyone passing by might have thought he was being tortured or that the raindrops had suddenly turned to boiling water. He fell to his knees, crawling around and screaming bloody murder. James' first thought was that Monte was tricking him, trying to get a reaction out of him. He watched in fascination because there was little else he could do.

"Get away from me! Get away from me!" Monte shrieked.

"Oi, what tha fuck are you doing? There's no one there."

James' skin prickled, he could feel the pain on his own hands as he watched Monte scratch at his skin, drawing blood from the cuts his nails were making.

This triggered James' mental alarm bells. Something was wrong. That was apparent even before his body started convulsing and his eyes rolled back into his head. He fell into the mud.

"Monte! Monte!" James rushed outside beside him, propped his head on his knee and slapped him lightly in succession across the cheek. He didn't come around.

"Fuck."

James tried his best to hold him down, to stop the shaking, but the thrashing boy was more than he could handle. He threw one of the boy's arms over his shoulder the best he could and hoped that his wobbly knees held up long enough for him to reach the hospital wing in time.

* * *


	14. Chapter 14

October 31st prt 2

Shit. Shit. Shit.

James cursed loudly. Monte was heavier than he looked. He was having trouble keeping him uplifted, but he supported his weight the best he could.

"Danyeal…"

A trail of blood and water was being left behind, dripping from Monte.

"Danyeal… save me…"

When he was literally dragging him or when he stopped calling for the Danyeal person, James squeezed his waist, not sure of he was losing his consciousness, or ... _Shit!  
_  
The halls in Hogwarts never seemed so long and daunting. James just wanted to get there and get it over with. This was too much for him.

It was yet another side to the boy; one that he'd rather not see.

The trembling Monte clawing at his flesh, screaming at nothing, sobbing like a child.

When James got to the hospital wing – kicking open the door without a hint of reservation – Madam Pomfrey shrieked at the unruly entrance. Upon seeing the bloody mess in James' hands, she sprang into action with efficiency, pryng off the hysterical boy who had along the way attached himself to James with his arms around his neck tightly.

"What happened?" she demanded.

"I-I don't know," James stuttered. "He just started going crazy!"

"Hmpf." She examined Monte's face before giving James the, it-has-to-your-fault-somehow, look. True, he was no stranger to the Hospital wing. After ingesting so many of Sirius' experimental potions and challenging the womping willow many times before they discovered the charm to immobilize it, it was a wonder he – or any of the marauders – were still alive.

James assisted Madam Pomfrey in placing him on one of the beds. This was a difficult task. He began to writhe and scream again. Holding his shoulders, Madam Pomfrey tried to guide him down but he was refusing, his back arching up as he was still trying to cling to James.

"Try to get him to lie down, Potter," Madam Pomfrey said, dashing off.

"No, Danyeal! Don't let me go!"

He leapt onto James, his vice grip squeezing his chest. "Okay, I'm not leaving. N-Not so tight."

James tried to squirm away but nothing he did worked. Monte was not going to let go if he thought he was this Danyeal person. He would have to play the part which meant...

James swallowed a lump in his throat and slowly put his arm around Monte's waist, returning the hold.

Monte reacted by tightening his arms, pleased by what James did. He began to cry into his shoulder.

James put a knee on the bed and laid him down; moving down with him, afraid that if he tried to pull him off again it could be troublesome.

It worked, he wasn't fighting back anymore, but he wasn't letting go either and James' couldn't have felt more awkward.

He was practically – definitely, in the eyes of anyone who had eyes – straddling Monte. One of his knees was between his legs, the other on the outside of his thigh and they were close. He was still hugging him! Monte was staring up at him with big, watery, doe eyes, tears beading on his eyelashes and trailing down his cheeks, nose red and sniffing, and something about him and the way he was looking at James, made him wish – for a second – that he was able to help him.

"Save me, Danyeal," he whispered.

"I can't," James whispered back. He couldn't. He didn't have whatever _Danyeal _had.

"Danyeal…"

"I'm not, Danyeal. I can't save you." It was easy to pry him off now that he had relaxed enough.

"Save me, save me!"

He kept saying one thing over and over. Madam Pomfrey returned and poured something down his mouth that James was told would 'calm' him. It worked fast. Monte's eyes closed, his mouth going slack.

She looked to him, sympathetic. "You need some of this too. Drink up."

"N-No, I'm fine," he lied, concealing his shaking hands behind his back.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Dinner that night was –for lack of a better word – odd, albeit James was happy to see_ both_ Sirius and Remus there sitting waiting for him when he stood at the door to the great hall fifteen minutes late.

As soon as he entered, Peter called him over enthusiastically. Remus greeted him with best he could muster at a smile and Sirius looked him up and down suspiciously. Things weren't back to normal, but it was okay. They were there. That was enough.

Sighing, he squeezed in the spot beside Sirius that they'd saved for him.

"What's wrong? You look terrible?" Sirius asked before James even settled in.

James waved it away, not wanting to talk about the day or anything that would remind him of it.

"Skipping class? Didn't think you still had it in you! Where were you the whole day? Should've told me if you wanted company." Sirius clapped him on the back, grinning.

Was he better?

Did they make up?

Questions clawed themselves up his throat but he kept silent for fear of ruining any concord they may have established.

Remus, who was sitting opposite James, pushed over a plate he had put out for him. They were already having dessert.

"Thank you, Moony," he said softly with a smile, in his own way maybe trying to soothe a pain he imagined he was seeing in his friend's eyes.

Remus tensed and smiling sadly, nodded, accepting James' subtle sentiment.

"What're you two getting all googley eyed at?" Peter asked, breaking the moment.

"Nothing, wormtail."

James smiled to himself.

The great hall was decked out for the Halloween feast, the house elves outdid themselves with the food – he could tell by looking -- and Remus had given him double portions of all his favorites, but James' hands wouldn't stop shaking enough for him to pick up a fork so he placed them on his lap.

When Sirius commented on his lack of appetite, he put on quite a show of eating. He didn't want them worrying about him.

He wasn't sure if the others talked or if the atmosphere was tense. His body was there, murdering scalloped potatoes, but his thoughts … Even with his hands washed off all the blood, the sensation of it trickling between his fingers, running over his skin, staining his hands, still remained.

It was truthfully a frightening thing to see.

His share of food went untouched, not having an appetite.

Later that night, when they were the only ones left in the common room absorbing the warmth of the dying fire, there was still an underlying tension in the air that James didn't like. It was more noticeable now that he wasn't shook up anymore. Peter was curled up in his favorite armchair, pretending to be sleeping.

That left him to try and remedy the situation.

Next to him, Remus was penning away at his History of Magic essay that he grew tired of chastising him about and decided to do himself. Sirius was over in his self declared chair staring moodily into the fire. Remus' eyes darted over to him ever so slightly but they said nothing to each other.

The first step was to get them talking.

"Have you come up with any ideas for tonight?" he directed at Sirius, picking a random subject that Sirius would have a chance of finding interesting enough to discuss.

"For?"

"For Halloween…"

"Oh. Haven't given it much thought," Sirius responded dully.

"Strange, by now you be clamoring with possible _black masterpieces_." Not entirely wrong but over exaggerated certainly.

"I've had… a lot on my mind," he answered cryptically.

"Maybe we could do something to Snape again?"Remus offered, quick to distract.

James placed a hand over his heart and gasped in mock astonishment. "Remus? Suggesting something? Who are you and what have you done with our, moony?"

Remus didn't look up from his parchment but there was a small smile on his face. "I'm not allowed?"

"We did that last year," Sirius interrupted.

"Snivelly, huh…" It was hard thinking about Snape now without the progression of thoughts going directly to Monte.

"That never gets old," Peter added, inserting himself in the conversation.

"You don't seem very enthusiastic James." Remus' abnormal perception saw through his hesitation.

Sirius turned to face them."Maybe that is kind of worn. What about Monte. Wormtail tell us you've got something on him."

James shot Peter a disapproving glare which Sirius caught. "Something we mustn't know?"

"Sorry James. They demanded to know what you were up to lately and you know me. They insisted… I couldn't refuse-"

"S'alright wormtail." _If you go on like that they'll think I'm hiding it._ "I didn't share because I didn't think it was anything worth using. It's nothing."

"You never know," Sirius said.

James hesitated. All eyes were on him, curious and waiting.

_What's this… Why I am protecting that prick? I'm seriously considering not telling them…_

He had no obligation to keep Monte's secret but he had an obligation to tell them. His family. "I used some stuff– turns out he's… afraid of water." James took a long sip of juice he'd brought with him.

Sirius burst out laughing. "Water? He's having you on mate."

"It's true," James confirmed gravely. Why couldn't he just let it slide! Was it because he saw it firsthand? Did seeing up close how scary and serious it could be, make him see that it wasn't something to be taken lightly?

"Does that mean he doesn't shower?"

"Not like that Sirius. Most likely it's hydrophobia," Remus explained. He was met with silence.

"Put simply, the fear of water. Deep bodies of water like lakes and the ocean or simply large amounts like a filled bath tub."

"Ooh, Moony's so smart," James cooed, making Remus blush and trying lightening the effect the startling information had on his own body.

"Problem solved we dump a bucket of water on him. Fun."

"I wouldn't advise that, Sirius—"

"What would happen?" James asked.

"It could have adverse effects seeing as it usually stems from a trauma. Severe shock or worse…"

James swallowed."Worse?"

"Yes, well it's a very serious thing, James, a shock like that could even cause the heart to fail. It may be so much that he could lose his mind. It's not that unheard of for those things to happen when someone is…"

The cup slipped in James' numb fingers. He tuned Remus out, his mind hazy.  
_  
A shock like that could even cause the heart to fail. It may be so much he could lose his mind… Is_ _moony serious? Could he have actually died? But it was rain not some lake or something. It'd be alright if it was just that…_

"Anyway, it's not a very good idea. How about we just sit this one out?"

"What? But it's our last!" James exclaimed, and he felt guilty the he hadn't thought much about it either. Halloween was a highlight for them. To see who could come up with the most creative pranks among them. It was a tradition. It brought them together.

"Don't waste your breath, prongs, not like _he_ would understand. His head is always between a book."

"How very childish, Sirius," Remus hissed. James smacked himself mentally for allowing Sirius an opportunity to pick at Remus.

"Is it?"  
_  
_"It is, though I've come not to expect much where you are concerned."  
_  
_"Fuck off, Remus."

Remus winced, hurt by Sirius's harsh words and James could no longer stay silent in the escalating exchange. He chose that moment to interject. "Oi, padfoot cool it."

Sirius huffed, turning back to the fire.

"D-Did something happen?" Jams asked, careful to sound plainly concerned and nothing else.

"No," Sirius snapped.

"Don't lie to me Sirius."

"I don't want to argue with you, James, you're my mate-"

"Isn't moony your mate too? Don't argue with him either!"

Remus and Sirius locked eyes before Sirius looked away again.

"I heard you this morning. Curious little conversation you had." He would throw it out in the open if that's what it took.

Sirius stood up. "C'mon, Pete. I'm going to bed."

James stood too. "No you're not! I will not allow us to continue like this! We are the Marauders. Whatever it is I'm sure it's nothing we can't solve."

"Solve? _Solve_? How can it be _solved_ when I can't even fucking look at him!?"

"Padfoot… what did he do? What did he do that was so bad? Tell me," James pleaded.

"Goodnight James." Sirius' face darkened, a sign that he was angry right now and at his most lethal.

"What happened to _us_? What happened to friends forever?!" James shouted after him, getting no response.

He sunk down into his chair, exhausted in every way. Was there really no way to fix them? No way to help any of them? He was really weak, wasn't he? He looked down at his hands, unable to hold onto anything that he wanted. His vision blurred, like the rain rolling down the windows.

"James? James! For a moment there I there I thought you stopped breathing. You okay?"

Remus came a little closer, kneeling down to look into James' face. "Prongs, is everything alright. You didn't look well since you came to dinner. I'm worried. Have you caught a cold?" he asked softly, lifting up the stray strands of hair to put his hand on James' forehead.

He hardly did anything today but he was so tired. So tired. His body ached, his head throbbed, and for his friends, his heart hurt.

"Stupid prat, worry about yourself."

His head fell forward, resting on Remus' shoulder. He felt him tense up beneath him from the sudden contact or maybe he thought he had fainted.

"James?" Remus whispered close to his ear tickling him, his hand resting on James knee, the other suspended in mid-air, unsure what to do with it.

"Sorry, moony, I just needed a shoulder right now."

Remus smelled of something sweet, probably spilled desert, and James nuzzled his face within his worn robes.

His hand came to rest at the back of James' head as he squeezed him tighter. And Remus was being so nice to him when he was obviously in no position to be healing the ailments of others when he had his own.

How could Sirius be unforgiving to moony, who was so fragile?

Normally, James took pride in being a sympathetic ear and a strong shoulder to lean on, but he had no worries with leaning on someone this one time.


	15. Chapter 15

Nov 5th

_  
The doves are cooing._

Death is afoot.

* * *

The air is stifling and humid and the waves are becoming turbulent.

Danyeal emerges from the churning water, shaking away the wet hair and water out of his eyes. Gabriel scrambles – while keeping his movements to a minimum – to help him out of the water. Gabriel is handed the graining gun first and waits to be handed the octopus – or sea cat as they call it there – or any little fish he has caught. Danyeal's free and empty hand comes next.

Gabriel is left to assume that the dive was unsuccessful.

Danyeal has always been a proficient diver and swimmer. He glides through water like he's made for it. He tells Gabriel at length that all Montés are very skilled in these areas.

Danyeal flops into the boat, breathing hard and looking happy even though he's caught nothing.

"No fish?"

He laughs breathlessly. "No fish. Sea's white."

"What will we eat?"

Danyeal shrugs and smiles. "Sea grapes?"

Gabriel isn't amused. Sea grapes are the size of pebbles with a thin layer of edible skin. Also, they are not in season.

"Just kidding. We'll have to depend on the cook today."

"Can't you try again?"

"No, a storm's brewing."

"How do you know?"

"The heat."

"Heat?"

"It's gotten hot because storm clouds are coming from the east. They gather all the moisture so you know it's either raining somewhere else on the island or it's about to rain."

Gabriel is still unsure about this guess work logic that Danyeal has adopted from the islanders but he obeys him and takes the boat to shore.

Sure enough the clouds gather and before they hit the shore it is raining cats and dogs without the slightest hint of letting up.

An out of season hurricane.

They run up the bay, over the rocks that are slippery from the rain and make a dash for the house.

Danyeal suggests that they go through the back, through the servants' entrance in the kitchen.

"That way, mother won't see us," he says.

Most of the sand has already been washed off so they run right in, laughing at the absurdity of running from the rain when they're already wet.

Danyeal smoothes his hair back out of his eyes. He looks around.

"Empty…"

_Peculiar._

Gabriel gazes around too.

The stove is on, simmering away a bright red and yellow lobster, filling the kitchen with its tangy scent.

Carrots and cabbage already in the process of being chopped lay on the cutting board, the knife right beside them. The pot filled with rice and okras is bubbling over, soiling the surface of the stove.

As young as he is, a sense of dread creeps into him.

Something's not right.

Danyeal sets down his gun, smiling at Gabriel to make him believe that everything's all right and that it's not suspicious, what they're seeing. Gabriel is told to wait there until he returns.

Although he doesn't want to disobey Danyeal, he's curious about his racing pulse, the anxiety that is for no reason snaking its way into his belly.

He sneaks a glance out the door. The corridor is dark and empty.

Danyeal is nowhere to be seen but he can hear voices.

Danyeal? Artemis?

He creeps out quietly, lead by the murmur of voices.

A door is ajar. It's where the voices are coming from. Next to it is a bathroom and as he is passing, his bare feet step in something. Looking down, water is pooling at the door.

Maybe someone has left the tap on? He thinks, or maybe someone had been drawing a bath and forgotten it? He opens the door, thinking that he'd just turn it off since he is already here.

Little fingers clasp around the brass door handle and turn.

The door gives a little way, then stops.

It's jammed; something blocks it from opening further. Gabriel rams it with his shoulder repeatedly and the heavy thing moves a bit, enough for him to wedge his body between the opening.

_Splash._

His feet recognize more water. It covers the floor, making the white tiles look even more luminous.

The faucet at the sink is turned off but it, and the tub, are both filled to the brim with water. Water is dripping down the surface of the toilet, the shower curtain; the towels stacked on a shelf are also soaked.

Everything is covered in a sheen of water.

He steps inside fully, knowing that the plumbing might be broken and the he should probably fetch one of the maids to alert them but… but the water is _still_. So still that it doesn't even resemble water at all. Even that at his feet makes no movement when he walks to the tub.

Something touches his head and when he looks up another falls on his face, rolling into his eye.

Water is dripping from the ceiling.

It's as if the room has just surfaced from the bottom of the sea.

_Gabriel_

A circle forms in the motionless water, a swirling whirlpool, calling his name.

Surely he's dreaming?

His feet are lead. He cannot keep his eyes from following the sloshing water in the tub, ticking rhythmically. A pendulum that he must follow.

Gabriel

Only when he feels the need to move towards the voice, do his feet move. He steps closer, enchanted by the call of swirling water and its murky depths.

The room tilts but he doesn't feel it.

_Closer…_  
"Gabriel!"

Closer…

Yes, come closer…

He jumps, startled by the loud voice that isn't the soothing one of the water. The water is telling him not to turn around, not to look, but he does, because he would choose _this_ voice over the water's.

Two bodies, behind the door. The heavy things that were keeping it from opening.

His mother, feet sprawled, her pink sundress sodden. One of her shoes is missing. Her eyes are wide, her mouth frozen in a grimace. Beneath her, his father, his skin as blue as the sky, limbs grotesquely swelled, eyes bulging.

Gabriel thinks of a soaked sponge, thick with soaked up liquid.

His eyes are shielded by Danyeal's hair. He's hugging him, protecting him, shielding him from the sight of their parent's lifeless forms. But he sees them. Artemis is at the door along with a flurry of maids, crying, whispering, watching.

He feels Danyeal shaking but not from being overcome by grief. Danyeal is not crying.

Gabriel does not cry either.

* * *

A funeral.

He's never been to one. He has general knowledge of them but there's never been a need for him to attend one.

The dress robes he'd had since forever ago itch his skin. They are charmed to stay in place for hours. He examines himself in the full length mirror, ignoring the disapproving look the maid behind gives him. She's picking up stray items in his room and returning them to their rightful places. She would be having more luck with if she would stop trying to interfere with her little coughs and loud sniffs.

She knows, even though he tries to hide it, that he hasn't had a proper bath in days and she cringes, when she asks where he goes to do his _business._

He's been giving bathrooms a wide berth. Too many of his nightmares are filled with the soft gleam of the porcelain tub, a rippling voice, and wide, dead eyes.

Danyeal's trips to the ocean have been solitary ones though Gabriel is sure that he finds other company. Or vice versa, as company is always on lookout for him. It is the only time they are ever apart now.

Wizards from England and the few that dot the island are gathering in droves. Gabriel does not know why there are so many people. Most of them he'd never seen in his life. Its hard to believe his parents kept so many friends.

Danyeal does his part – that of the elder son, the new head of the household—greeting everyone, accepting various apologies and condolences, reciting practiced, zealous—_and fabricated_ – accounts of their cherished memories of their now deceased parents. He doesn't leave his brother's side not even for a minute, guiltily pleased that his hand is safe inside Danyeal's and that he squeezes it reassuringly in between weaving his thick web of lies, capturing the nosy flies.

But in length and in truth, he recounts everything, only to Professor Dumbledore, when the wizards arrives.

They disappear. The second only time, Danyeal would leave him alone.

Gabriel is all alone in the sea of faces.

He wishes Danyeal would hold his hand again and protect him from these more frightening eyes and lethal words.

It takes all the strength in his body, but he walks with his head high.

"Look at 'im. He's not even sad his parents are dead. Shameful."

A snort.

A whisper. "How could they die though?"

"What do ya mean?"

"They've been some funny rumors going on about this family."

"Yeah. I've heard my granddad say that the mother – Lucinda Monte – was in love with him when he was young!"

"What a load of shit. She's still young. Hardly a wrinkle on her."

"Hmm. He said she married off to someone else and even when he got old she never changed."

"Maybe they weren't human."

"Heh, not with all that they get up to. I heard they sacrifice children to – Oh here comes the small one now."

"Look at him, not a tear to shed. Beasts, all of em."

A grin. "That older one is a tricky one too."

"….what?"

"All I'm saying is keep an eye on your _son_."

"Shhh."

Gabriel runs outside, covering his ears. He tries to forget. He doesn't want to hear. He just wants to find Danyeal.

He does.

Or rather Danyeal finds him.

Gabriel is hiding inside of his wardrobe, within its comforting darkness. One door is half opened. He sees when Danyeal comes in and he smiles, about to call out for him.

He stops.

Being led by the hand is Paper weight.

They tumble in, Danyeal casting a spell to lock the door.

"What did I do?" Danyeal asks in a small voice.

Gabriel can see Paperweight. He looks different, not like the boy he's come to know.

For one thing, he's dressed proper. Not in vests and old rags but in fine robes so dark that when he moves, the silver threads in them seem to glimmer. His blonde hair is pulled back tight into a sleek knot. His new look accentuates his eyes and makes him look not half bad. One thing ruins it.

He's wearing that cold, wide toothed smile. The one Danyeal so often mistakes for cheerfulness.

He doesn't answer but instead walks around Danyeal to the window.

"Please tell me what I have done to upset you, _Julian_..."

Gabriel cringes at how delicately the name is called.

Paper weight has that eerie grin on his face. Danyeal shifts, now seeing it for what it truly is and afraid of it maybe.

"Your parents are dead."

"So I've noticed," Danyeal says sarcastically but not unkindly.

"How did they die?"

Danyeal hesitates, rubbing his arms. "They drowned. In the bathroom."

Paperweight is amused. "How does something like that happen?"

Danyeal's back is to him so Gabriel can't see his face. He doesn't answer the question.

"You told me that they couldn't die. That none of your family could… Did you lie to me?"

"No!" Danyeal lowers his voice when he realizes he shouted. "No. T-They wanted to make me marry her! For us I – "

Paperweight's brows furrow."Did you do something – "

"Julian…" Danyeal cuts him off, stepping closer, their noses touching. "All that matters is you. I have you now. I can… have you now." It floats out on a relieved laugh. "Nothing else matters."

Paperweight caresses Danyeal's face and Gabriel hears his brother gasp in shock. He holds the blonde boy's wrist and moves it to the light.

A tattoo.

"What is this?" he asks shakily, staring fiercely into impassive, blue eyes. Empty.

"What is this, Julian!?" No more delicate caress. He never raises his voice. He never screams or overreacts. But he does now. His back is tense. Gabriel shrinks back.

"I work for Vold – "

"No!" Danyeal screams at him, squeezing his hand.

Paper weight lets out an impatient sigh. Determined to continue, he holds Danyeal's fierce gaze.

"I got close to you to learn you – "

"No! Shut up! You're lying!"

"You're lying to me, _Julian_."

"Believe whatever you want. My job's done. I thought you had a secret to immortality. You played a cruel trick on me," he said silkily, pushing Danyeal's shoulders to allow himself some space.

"Julian…" Danyeal pins him down with his body weight and kisses him, full on the mouth.

Paperweight struggles at first, pushing weakly against him, then stops, his hands falling to his sides.

Gabriel feels like he's dying.

When they break the kiss, Danyeal stays close. Paperweight is dazed and if Gabriel's watery eyes aren't deceiving him, his blue eyes aren't as bright as they were before.

He thought the strangled sobs to be coming from his throat. Danyeal would wrench open the door and find him, crying like a baby.

He covers his mouth, but they aren't coming from him.

Danyeal is shaking, his arm around his lover's waist, the other holding his marked hand.

Danyeal is crying.

Gabriel feels as if he's died.

* * *

_  
This infirmary needs some new beds._ He made a mental note to inform nurse Pomfrey when he was to be released and not a day before. It was safer that way.

_The boy from Ravenclaw five beds down snores incessantly and makes it difficult for me to sleep._ He made a note to cast a spell close his nose up for a week at the very least.

The soft scrapping noises of Madam Pomfrey's shoes died away as she did her last run through for the night and retired to bed.

Gabriel had the sheet pulled over his head, focusing on the interlocking fibers of the cotton while making mental notes to pass the time. This was where Severus usually came in. A knight in shining armor, wielding a sleeping potion for him, promising a dreamless night. Never mind he was more or less asleep for the past week. Sleep was never peaceful and waking meant he was to be met by rain.

There were little noises coming from somewhere in the room and he knew it wasn't the Ravenclaw boy because he could hear him snoring. They were the only ones in there. Gabriel wiped his cheeks and tossed the sheet aside, curious as to what was transpiring when Madam Pomfrey had just gone to bed. It was obviously planned and timed to be as such.

The nearest window to his bed was closed off by heavy drapes. The others were bare as usual and Gabriel wondered if a certain someone had something to do with it.

In the corner, something was appearing. A head of unruly brown hair, jutting out in all directions, was first. And then eyes, unusually bright in the darkness. Glasses.

A torso came after wards. Gabriel looked away, recognizing who it was. His chest seized.

Why was he here?

He was the last person he wanted to see. Mainly because he was the first person to witness one of his more embarrassing _episodes._

Why did he come? What do I say to him?

He looked back to him, determined to face him like normal and not like anything was wrong. He found James staring at him. Or he thought he was. His glasses made it hard to tell if he was looking at him or just in his vicinity but it was confirmed when James spoke to him.

"Bloke appears out of nowhere and you don't even have the decency to be surprised, Monte?"

"I'm well aware of the powers your little sheet has, Potter," Gabriel replied, glad that Potter was acting normal. He could as well and if anything went wrong…

"Cloak," James corrected folding it and tying it around his waist.

"Hmm."

James strode over easily and quietly and pulled up a chair next to his bed without another word. He made sure the pull the curtains around the bed so that everything was blocked out. He took out a book and opened it to a marked page, still silent.

Gabriel was beginning to feel uncomfortable by this. Did he dry his eyes properly?

"Potter?"

"Hmm?"

"What would you be doing here?"

"Sitting. Reading."

Gabriel pursed his lips. He wanted him to behave normally but he forgot how infuriating he could be when he wanted to. "Why did you wait till the nurse left?"

"Because I don't need her harping in my ear about curfew," James grunted.

"You could've easily visited before curfew…"

"I was busy."

Gabriel just watched him in silence trying to figure out what he was thinking instead of being inquisitive, until he remembered something that he had been meaning to ask.

Potter startled him when he slammed the book shut and placed his head on the bed, apparently frustrated about something.

"Lily… came to see me today…" he started uneasily. When did they ever have a civil conversation?

"I know."

"Why did you tell her I was here?"

"She asked."

"Did you – what did you tell her about—"

"Just that you fainted from exhaustion."

_Fainted?_ "Fainted?"

"Fainted," James confirmed, his voice muffled.

"…Wouldn't _collapsed_ have sounded a little better? I mean fainted sounds a bit… dramatic."

"Same shit. Anyway didn't it give you _lovebirds _time to have a nice little chat."

Gabriel chose to ignore that little jab. "We didn't talk. I was hiding beneath this ridiculously light sheet. I was afraid she and Prissy might accidentally kill me with the flames they were breathing at each other."

James snorted.

Gabriel was enjoying this level of comfort they shared. Not that they had a reason to be awkward around each other. They just disliked each other. That was all… if one didn't count their last encounter when Gabriel was all over him and saying all those embarrassing things.

He blushed scarlet and covered his face with a hand. Memory charms did come in handy. He'd have no choice but to use one. Again! What if Potter suddenly quoted him in a crowd or worse, what if he told everyone that he had a nervous breakdown and – _hugged_ – him.

_I have to kill him just to make sure!_"Feel better?" James asked after a silence Gabriel wasn't aware was stretching on.

He fidgeted with the ends of his hair unsure of how to respond.

"Depends on which better you mean…"

He didn't expect Potter to take him seriously but he looked at him so oddly, pity clearly painted on his face. Now that he made eye contact, Gabriel got a good view of his eyes and couldn't help himself. He took a peek at what James was thinking.

James shook away a dizzying sensation.

It took too much energy from him. Gabriel exhaled, letting his body sag into the soft bed. He shouldn't have tried that after just waking up after so long but now he knew some of what was going through his mind.

"You don't have to come here you know. Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault."

James flushed, jumping up from his chair. Gabriel watched him tiredly.

"I was worried," James said, sharpened with a sarcastic edge.

"Really?"

"As if I would be, bastard."

"Are you leaving?"

"Look that way?" James was halfway to the door.

Gabriel wrestled with himself but... "Thank you. For helping me when I needed it and…for not telling anyone."

"Who says I didn't tell anyone?" James sneered.

At the thought Gabriel shriveled and deflated. That was what he had been afraid of.

James took it back. "I didn't, idiot."

He didn't know much about Potter but he knew that he wasn't a liar. He said what needed to be said and all that was on his mind. He was a straight forward kind of person. "I'm indebted to you."

James mumbled all the way to the door but as soon as he reached it he turned around and returned to his chair.

"What are you doing?"

"Sitting."

"I thought you were leaving?"

"What's it to you, just shut up and sleep."

Gabriel smiled . Tired, as he was, he didn't want to go back to sleep again. He was glad thatPotter chose to stay. He closed his eyes for just a second and dozed off.

He may have been between sleep and wake, hallucinating or dreaming the feeling of someone touching him, running a finger along the inside of his hand down to his wrist.

Over the pigmented skin that was the remains of his cuts.

* * *

Note:

Sea's white – This is what we say here when the sea is stirred up/ sandy/ murky. It's hard to see so fishing is impossible till it clears.

When doves coo its said that someone will die.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: God it's been a year and a tough one. Hope I still have readers left…. *is nervous* Imma keep writing now that my writer's block had temporarily lifted.

Cheers~  
Kay

* * *

The letter came by the family's large, brown owl on a frigid Sunday evening when James was catching up on his homework. Seeing Eustace waiting patiently on his desk bearing a letter was a surprise, as his parents weren't in the habit of writing him. They sent a letter once in a while to check up on him but tried not to bother him too much. They suspected he would be busy with N.E.W.T.S and so on and didn't want to annoy him unnecessarily this year, but nobody had anticipated the swift rise of Voldermort.

James opened it cautiously, hoping it wasn't bringing bad news.

It was short. A 'we miss you' and a 'we love you, hope you're doing well', 'we're looking forward to spending Christmas with you' and a reminder about the family's Christmas get together.

_We're looking forward to meeting the charming angel._

James stopped, reading the letter over again, hoping that when he got back to the bottom again he would've discovered that he'd read wrong and was seeing things. He even tried reading it out loud to confirm what he was seeing.

"We're looking forward to meeting the charming angel."

He wasn't seeing things. They were really there. Those words.

"James? Something wrong?"

He must have looked worried because Remus' trouble radar homed onto him and his eyes were alight with concern.

"No." James shook his head, feverently denying that his parents weren't dying to meet his _supposed _girlfriend.

"You sure?"

"Ye- No. Yes! N- No. Something_ is_ wrong." It came out on a defeated sigh. He could never lie to Remus and that penetrating look he always gave him. "Truth is, this is an invitation to my family's Christmas party."

"Oh, they're still having it this year?" Remus tried and failed to sound nonchalant. These were trying times. With people disappearing everyday never to be seen again and unexplained deaths happening by the minute, something as simple as a party had become ridiculous. James understood and even agreed but he could relate to what his parents were thinking by having it. It was something he needed, something all their friends needed. A colorful distraction. To feel at peace in times when it was hard to come by.

"Yeah," James replied, though it was a bit unfocused.

"So what's so troubling?"

"Right. Thing is, my parents and I had a sorta mis-understanding. You see, they're under t he impression that me and er, Lily are um… dating, and that she's coming to the party with me."

"Oh?"

Remus' knowing smile and eyes sparkling with mischief made him look more alive than he had in weeks. James wished Sirius could see him like this, and remember why they were friends in the first place and why they shouldn't be fighting amongst themselves.

A hand waving in front of his face brought him from his thoughts.

"James? Let me guess. You, being you, told them that she was your girlfriend and now they want to meet her?"

James nodded.

"You bring these things on yourself you know."

"I know. What am I going to do?"

"Ask Lily if she would go with you, though I don't think she'll agree if she knows what it's about."

"Not to complain moony, but at times like this you're supposed to say 'that's not true. I'm sure she'd go' or something to that effect. At least I'll have you guys."

Remus looked distinctly uncomfortable at this, and gave his quill his undying attention when he spoke.

"Actually James, I've decided to visit my parents this year."

"What!"

"I haven't been home in a while."

"But you promised me you'd come," James whined.

"Sorry." To his credit, he did look regretful but there was something else to.

"Is this about Sirius?"

"N-no."

"What if I talk to him? Would that make it better?"

"James…" Remus' pleading look tugged on his heart, he was going too far.

"Fine." He threw his hands up.

"You should ask Lily. You never know."

"Yeah," he agreed mechanically, but he did know.

It was a direct request from Moony so he would try for the sake of trying. And he did. Minutes later when Remus had gone up to pack his things—a bit late by Remus' own standards – Lily came down into the common room looking tired. Everyone looked that way these days, like they were carrying their own personal rain clouds over them, showering them gloom on a daily basis. Still, James never thought he'd see the day when Lily wasn't a beam of radiance.

She slunk into a chair and James sat beside her not long after. He made small talk – asked her how she was doing and such. The work load was the apparent cause of her lack of shine. He sympathized with her, told her she needed to relax. It went pretty well, the loss of spark put her in a rather lax mood for talking. He asked her if she'd like to relax at the party his parents were having but she politely declined, saying that she had planned –like Remus – to spend some time with her family. James could not fault her. He supposed they would all want to, seeing as how disappearing off the map was becoming a regular occurrence.

Again as with the time she turned him down for the hogsmeade trip, James did not feel the disappointment sting as he would have a while back. Now he'd have to make up an excuse. An unfortunate but convenient break-up?

"James, Lily." Remus was coming down from the boys' dormitory, waving at them.

"Done already, Moony?"

"Yeah, we're going to be late. That wouldn't look too competent Mr. and Mrs. Head of Houses."

"Merlin, I forgot," Lily said, rubbing a hand across tired eyes. "Don't suppose we can decline?"

"Unfortunately you and James are in charge," Remus said sympathetically.

"C'mon Lily, it'll be fun. Cheer you right up and into the Christmas spirit."

She groaned. James who suddenly felt at ease around her (not that he never had, but he always felt the line that separated them. Maybe the truth that she was not and was never going to be interested in him the way he was in her was sinking in, enabling him to treat her as a friend.

That wouldn't be so bad. Being friends.

Hooking his hand under her elbow, he dragged her up and walked her through the portrait and down to the Great Hall, supporting most of her weight and trying to ignore the smug look he knew Remus was giving him.

The prefects were to decorate the school festively for Christmas was soon upon then. Lily perked up instantly when she saw some sneaky third years exchange a box of garland with a box containing something just as green and fuzzy, but breathing.

"See, told you you'd cheer up!" James shouted. Lily threw him a nasty look smoothing back down her ruffled hair. "Think she knew I threw that helmet on her head so she wouldn't see them?" James returned the helmet to the suit of armor with an amused grin, which Remus mirrored hesitantly.

"You're in a good mood," Remus commented, magicking a box of glowing ornaments his way. "Did she agree?"

Through the moving figures of prefects and volunteers, James caught Monte sitting beneath a window charming several candles to emit a tinkling sound in a musical scale.

"…No…"

"She didn't?" Funny how Remus didn't sound _that_ surprised

"Said she had to – um- go home," James pulled a box close to him and dug into it, giving his hands something to do. Unfortunately, there was no solution for his eyes and they kept darting all over the place just to land on one particular person at every opportunity.

"I'm sorry James."

"S'alright." He could take it no longer. "Um, I'll be back in a few."

He didn't wait till Remus nodded, he weaved his way in-between passing students until he stood directly in front of Monte. He bent down, examining the candles he was waving his wand over. It had been a whole month since the incident in the rain with Monte. They'd seen each other in classes and exchanged awkward glances. Insults had disappeared in favor of a mutual truce. Conversation was a minimum. In the whole, James just had a weird feeling about the entire thing, like they couldn't be themselves around each other anymore now that Monte's potential vulnerability had been discovered.

"What're you doing?" James asked.

Monte shook his hair out of his eyes and looked at James. Without taking his eyes off him, he moved a long hand over and along the row of candles, closing his fingers over them as if to extinguish the flames. To James' amazement when his fingertips brushed over the flames, each candle emitted a musical note and as his hand swept along, the notes combined to a Christmas melody.

"Amazing," James said quietly.

"Originally they were just eternal candles but I made a charm to improve them. Wind activates them so they could be"

" For those people who like to walk and run their hands along the walls, you know those jittery types. Give 'em something to do."

"Like you," Monte remarked slyly.

"Yeah." James turned scarlet and narrowed his eyes indignantly when he caught on, but Monte was smiling. And James was staring again at the stretch of his lips revealing his teeth. It wasn't a broad, overly happy smile but a genuine smile that one would use on something one greatly…admired.

Something precious.

He was under the impression that only a certain Slytherin got that kind of treatment. Monte stood, waving his wand to levitate the candles up to set about dispensing them. He didn't know what had gotten into him, but James stood too, directly in front of Gabriel, blocking his path.

James watched as Monte's eyes widened, the candles circling them and bumping into each other as his control over the spell was slipping. They stared at each other for a brief eternity until it was broken by fierce green eyes and bobbing red hair.

Lily moved and stood between them, jabbing James in the ribs. "Potter, don't think I missed that little trick before."

"Lovely to see you as always, flower," Monte said silkily to Lily who blushed and smoothed her hair down unconsciously. As she turned to face him, James backed away, mentally shaking himself.

"How've you been?"

"Oi Evans! Nice!" Someone shouted over the talking. There were several wolf whistles. Lily and Monte both looked up at the same time. James' eyes followed automatically, where to his horror, he realized they were standing under a patch of mistletoe and every eye had fallen on them (_them_ being Lily and Monte).

James' body went rigid. There was a rushing moment in which an intense nausea swept over him as he continued to stare at them.

Lily was absolutely scarlet and for a moment, James imagined he saw a look of horror flash across Monte's face but it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared along with the other imagined look of guilt that crossed his face when he looked at James.

He smiled down at her and inhaling, he shrugged casually. "Oh well, its tradition. May I?" His eyes sparkled and Lily nervously nodded.

"Well it_ is_ tradition," she agreed.

Monte smiled again and leaned down.

To James, this scene happened in excruciating slow motion. From the moment Monte put his hand around Lily's waist to pull her closer, to when he bumped their noses gently, when his mouth maneuvered slowly and found hers and the connection of their lips in a chaste but unsettling kiss. It was nothing in the realm of passionate, or eager, but James felt at that moment that he would have preferred it a bit more if it was. His heart beat loudly in his chest. They pulled apart several cheers later, Lily resembling an over ripe tomato, Monte's face blank.

He did not know that Monte's olive eyes had seeked him out. He was already making his way back to Remus, his cheeks hot, blood boiling. He would not meet Remus' eyes for the fear of the pity that would be there. What confused him was the fact that he wasn't sure who his jealousy was directed at and the jolt in his stomach when he thought about the fact that he was under the same mistletoe moments before.

* * *

Sirius' bad mood, James realized, would not go away, even with the passing of time and solitary alone-time he was being given. It never went well when Sirius felt he was being nagged, but leaving him alone didn't appear to solve much either. James hinted about the party on more than one occasion but with no interest shown. He refused to say that Remus wasn't coming because in his opinion, it shouldn't matter.

It was clear that he would be going alone. On the bright side, he spent more time with Lily as she had relinquished her ban on him, allowing them to do rounds together again. This suited James fine. He didn't much care for Monte's company as of late and Lily had become more sociable with him now that he had cooled down his advances and treated her like he would any of his friends. They spent many enjoyable nights together. She laughed a bit more with him. But when she was gone he felt the weight of loneliness again, pressing down on him that not even the snow swirling outside and holiday cheer could remedy.

The day before he would return home for the holidays and the celebration, he found himself loitering around on the fifth floor well past curfew. Lily bade him goodnight an hour earlier. He didn't feel like returning just yet so he wandered around hoping something would pop out and steal his worries or eat him.

No such thing appeared but he did bump into Monte, strolling the halls with a candy cane sticking out from his mouth. It was the first time they were alone together since the mistletoe incident. James was in no mood to argue or exchange taunts.

Monte propped up against the wall, and James saw it as an invitation, not the most welcomed one but company was company. He slid down the wall beside him, his folded arms resting on his bent knees and dropped his head on them.

"I didn't know we were standing under the mistletoe," Monte said suddenly.

James waved it away, too tired to lift his head. There was a pause.

"What with you? If you're gonna let a little thing like that depress you—"

"It's not that," James groaned, exhaling loudly. He didn't want to think about that after he'd taken so much time to push it from his mind.

"Then what?"

James hesitated, unsure of how to word his problem. _My best mates who're like my family is drifting apart. I can't do anything about it. I feel alone. Lily kissed you.  
_  
"My parents are having a party. No one wants to come with me."

Monte snorted. "Is that all? No offence but it sounds trivial."

"Hmm. Maybe."

"It's not trivial to you?"

James' look said everything. Monte was quiet for a moment and then spoke.

"I-I've got family stuff too so how about we make an agreement. I'll go with you to your party if- if you come with me- to my house, first. For a visit."

"Why would I want _you_ to come with me?"

"Well I don't know, so you wouldn't have to go alone," Monte said testily.

"But what difference would it make if I went with someone I-"

"Hate?" Monte filled in for him.

James spluttered, embarrassed. Monte face was frustratingly blank as was his voice when he spoke.

"Personal feelings aside, it's a matter of convenience."

"I-I guess so." James felt bad now. It didn't show on Monte's face but he knew he'd hurt his feelings. Weeks ago, that wouldn't have even been a thought to cause James worry.

"Then we're in accordance?" Monte asked brusquely.

"Yeah, sure but um- I'm sorr-"

" Good. Tomorrow then, Potter."

And he left him without giving him a chance to apologise.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

James stood outside of the sprawling mansion, hands in the pockets of his jeans, the cold air stinging his cheeks, and wondered if he had the right place. He was sure he had heard Monte correctly, but had he apparated to the wrong place by mistake?

The mansion itself was impressive, boasting three floors and surrounded by a pearl-white frozen lake, courtesy of the unnaturally cold winter. There were many trees on the property – now gnarled and shriveled like skeletal fingers grasping, but the estate must've been beautiful in the spring.

But still, something felt… wrong. It felt ill-kept. Dilapidated.

Lonely.

James wrapped his scarf a little tighter around his neck and approached the front door. The house was so isolated. If not with the intention of looking for it specifically, one might never find it.

Monte had always struck him as one of the showy, rich types; the kind that flaunted their wealth and status. James had almost expected to be greeted by a plethora of house elves bowing and carrying him inside on a golden chair. He frowned, not from disappointment by the lackluster welcome, but because it made him feel all the more that something was wrong.

He lifted his hand and knocked five times. The house was big, would they hear it? There must be some kind of magic that would alert them of his presence. He could unlock the door with magic but just inviting himself in would be rude so he waited. He was preparing to knock again when the door opened slowly, creaking ominously.

"Good morning, I'm er here to see Monte. I was invited – "

"I know, Potter," the person who opened the door said softly.

James' jaw dropped. How the hell did he not recognize Monte? Though admittedly, he looked different without his school robes. Smaller. Or maybe it was that wretched look on his face that seemed to shrink him.

"What's wrong?" James asked instinctively, with the intensification of the foreboding feeling he felt earlier.

Monte walked away. James made it inside just a moment before the door closed behind him by itself with a loud click.

"Monte, what happened?"

"I don't know. I only got here moments ago myself."

"I meant what happened to you, idiot." _You look so pale_.

The foyer was large and empty. The marble floor was dusty and so were the windows that bore no curtains. Snow was swirling outside, white and blinding.

"Where is everybody?" James asked, his voice echoing in the silence.

"That's an excellent question." Monte swiped his hand down the dusty railing of the circular staircase leading to the second level.

He began to ascend and James followed automatically, sensing that he would not be told to come.

Upstairs had the same signs of neglect.

"No house elves?" He was trailing behind Monte in search of life, peering into rooms behind him.

"No. My family has never employed the services of… _house elves_."

There was something strange about the way he said that. "Why?"James asked.

"I don't know."

"Then who cooks and cleans for you?"

"The servants and before you ask, they're muggles, always have been and I don't know why either."

James stuck his tongue out at the back of Monte's head. "Surprisingly under-informed aren't you, _Monte_."

"I was only told what I needed to know. I –"

There was a cough. It came from inside the door Monte was now standing stock still in front of, where he had apparently been leading James.

"So someone _is _here," James said brightly, hoping it would smooth over the tense feeling that was building. "Aren't you going in?"

James followed every movement he made, his adam's apple when he swallowed, the twitching of his fingers, this distance he was trying to put between himself and the door, conflicting with the concern on his face.

He was hesitating.

James was more than curious now so he took the liberty of knocking once, calling "Excuse us" and opening the door for them. What was Monte dreading? An unwanted aunt? A stern father? A cold mother? This was of course extreme rudeness but Monte didn't complain about James' forwardness.

Inside – it was a bedroom – was dark . The curtains were heavy and drawn shut. An enormous bed sat in the middle of the room and there was someone lying in it. Monte who was being tentative the whole time finally seemed to get a shot of energy when he saw whoever it was that was in bed and pushed past James to rush to their side.

"Artemis?"

Monte was so frantic that James was a little scared. He went closer to get a better look at who this Artemis might be, and was surprised to find an old, palid looking man, engulfed by incredibly thick comforter and pillows. Most of his hair was white and thinning, his skin wrinkled. A thin film covered his pupils.

"Artemis…" Monte groaned, kneeling by the bedside and clasping the old man's hand in his own. James felt a little uncomfortable. Like he was intruding on something private that he had no right seeing. The room reeked of dankness and sadness and … sickness.

"Why?" Montes voice was pained and low. He was softly stroking his cheek with the old man's hand that he had grasped firmly in his own.

"What's meant to be shall be, young master," he said weakly. His eyes travelled from Montes' face to James and his expression eased as if seeing him for the first time. "And who is this young gentleman?"

"A friend from Hogwarts."

James kept the shock he was feeling from showing on his face. "Er, my name is James Potter. Nice to meet you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well, James."

"How could they leave you like this?" Gabriel cut in over the pleasantries.

"It's not their fault."

"You must have been so lonely." Montes voice cracked but James pretended not to hear it to spare the boy's pride. "Potter."

"Yeah?"

"You are free to look around the property. I'll find you in a bit."

The dismissal was not lost on James, and he gladly took it and excused himself. Out of his peripheral vision, he could see the old man Artemis, stroking Montes' hair. The question of who he was to Monte exactly only occurred to him then.

* * *

Monte's house was very large. James was discovering numerous hallways and rooms, some unlocked most locked. Large, bare windows on almost all of the wall surfaces; dark, rich looking wood furniture. Antique looking ornaments; from door knockers, to candelabras to wall sconces, art and busts, vases. James felt like he had stepped right into another era. Everything was so elegant. He could see now why Monte was the way he was.

A place where time had stopped. Everything was dark and heavy and dreary.

He didn't know how long he'd been exploring. Everything outside was white making it hard to tell how much of the day had passed. He walked slowly, running his fingers along the smooth panel until they came upon a large brass door handle. He turned it and pushed automatically, almost falling in when surprisingly, it opened.

It contained nothing but a large piano in the centre but the warm gold tones and details made it feel inviting. A strange sensation hit James at that moment.

He had seen this room somewhere before.

For a long moment, he stood just taking it in, before going in slowly. This impossibly high ceiling, these large windows, this piano. Where had he seen these things before!

It was right there, at the front of his mind, begging for him to remember, but he just couldn't. It was the same every time he tried to remember the night when he was left outside the common room. Even though Monte had admitted to performing a memory charm on him, James still forced himself to try and remember.

James admired the instrument before him, and the way the light from the window played up its grandeur and just then he had a flash of a boy sitting in front of it, playing a sad song.

Monte!

James' breath hitched. Was it just a thought? A memory? His mind playing tricks on him? This was Monte's house and thus his piano, so he would be able to play it. And because it looked so rich maybe that's why he could_ imagine _Monte playing it. He wasn't sure.

Approaching the intimidating instrument with trepidation, he sat at the low bench that was placed in front of it. He touched one of the keys, the note echoing throughout the room. James pressed another note, and then another, but they weren't in tune and just sounded like disorganized noise.

"That's not for amateurs, Potter." Monte had been leaning against the door frame, for how long James didn't know but he didn't hear when he approached.

"Why'd you tell that man that we were friends?" James didn't even know he wanted to ask that until it was out of his mouth.

Monte smiled and came closer. "I don't know." He sat on the bench next to James, a little bit closer than was necessary given the length. His eyes were red. James looked away, absently pressing different keys. He would not pry into things that weren't his business. His brain hadn't had an off day since September and there was no need to increase the load.

"Can you play this?" he asked, not to fill the silence per se, but because he was curious.

Monte stared at one spot on the piano without moving or acting as if he'd heard James, and then his face broke into a watery smile. He didn't answer; instead he pulled the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows and spread his fingers on the keys. After the first resounding note, James had trouble keeping up with the symphony that unfolded before him. His jaw flopped, his brows hid in his hair and he was in so much shock that went Monte finished the sample piece, all he could say was "wow."

His small yet awed show of appreciation earned him an up close smile and suddenly his thick sweater felt a bit too warm. He tried to shrug it off. Everything in this room was too bright, making him feel disoriented.

"That was… interesting."

Monte laughed. "I'll take that as a compliment coming from you, Potter."

"Who taught you how to play?"

"I had a tutor, and…my late brother."

Why was every question leading to something uncomfortable?

"That's nothing. If you can do it anyone can do it." And with this James hit notes randomly, childishly. He was no good with these types of situations.

"No, no potter. That's desecration. If you're going to do it, do it properly. A finger goes here, and one here and…" Monte leaned over and took James' fingers in his own, guiding them in a simple version of the afore played song. James' vision was obscured by a head of hair, but he wasn't looking anyway. His hands were tingling, burning. Montes' body was very warm, compared to the slight chill of the house.

"And…" Monte stopped, released his fingers and sat up straight, giving him a guilty sideways look, as if he'd lost himself for a minute and done something strange.

"You must be hungry, it's almost dinnertime. I've been a poor host…"

"That's alright."

"No, I'll prepare something," Monte said, standing and walking to the door.

"What, yourself?"

"I_ am _capable of preparing a meal."

"Did I say otherwise," James snapped.

"You didn't have to; I can see it on your face. I'm not completely useless you know."

"No, not completely."

"Don't bite the hand that feeds you Potter. You may have to take up permanent residence in a bathroom," Monte said with a smirk, leaving James in the darkening gold room.

"Yeah, yeah," James mumbled, though he too was smiling.

He must be very hungry, because he was thinking that maybe it wouldn't have been so bad, if the piano lesson had continued.

* * *

James really should have known better. He let his guard down, charmed by Monte's confident words. Did he actually believe that Monte would arrange something rational for dinner? Yes. Yes he did. Though it _was_ quite impressive that he'd managed to prepare all that was before them.

They were in one of the bedrooms. Monte decided that the dining room was too formal what with its table that seated twelve, so he picked a bedroom, with the best view of the frozen lake in sunset. It was spacious - a large bed, an ornate wardrobe. Like the house itself, the room felt aged, the wallpaper peeling. They were seated at a fair sized round table in the corner, in a little breakfast nook, and between them, cakes, puddings, truffles, sweets, chocolate….

James breathed in and swallowed his annoyance. "Monte.?"

"Hmm?" he replied over a mouthful of cherry custard.

"Is this your idea of dinner?"

"Yes. You don't like it?"

"If I were a fucking ant, I don't think I'd mind, but _humans_ don't normally consider this a meal."

James sighed and picked up a cupcake, taking a bite to appease Monte who was looking highly offended. "Did you make this?" It was tasty. James would not say this though.

"Yes."

"How?"

"Muggle equipment."

Figures. He said all the servants were muggles. James looked outside at the snow falling and thought that it didn't feel at all like Christmas here. It was so dark. There were no Christmas decorations, nothing that made it feel like the holidays. Compared to James' house which was always elaborately decorated by him and his parents. It was a tradition. He couldn't imagine his house feeling so dreary at christmas time. His heart squeezed. Was he feeling pity for Monte? The boy didn't seem to mind anyway. Was this how he spent all the Christmases? Is this why he wanted James to come with him?

James didn't want any more awkward conversations but he couldn't help himself. "I've seen the whole house, but I haven't seen your room. Hiding it from me?" Maybe Monte just made his room festive. As he was talented with unique ideas for decorating like he demonstrated at school.

Monte blinked, one side of his mouth stuffed with coconut bread. He swept his hand around the room. "This is my room."

James was surprised. He'd never thought that he would let him in that easy. Everything looked different now, in a new light. These were Monte's things that he touched every day. His clothes, colognes on his dresser, brushes, combs, jewelry and even more shocking, toys! James' eyes roved over the bed and he paled.

"B-But you said I could sleep in this room for the night."

"You can," he said, stirring his tea, "I'll stay with Artemis tonight."

Again an opportunity to ask exactly who this Artemis was presented itself but James didn't bite. Monte was over-stirring his tea, looking out the window, a hand propped beneath his chin, looking morose.

They weren't friends but Monte was still human, with feelings. Had they not already agreed that Monte would come to the family party with him, James would have probably invited him now. He needed a bit of cheering up.

He took a deep breath. "I'm sure everything's gonna be fine. My mum always says a positive outlook on situations will help them turn out okay." And exhaled. Saying nice things to Monte always took a lot of effort from him. He was avoiding eye contact but when he made it, Monte's eyes looked cloudy. He clenched his hand and smiled.

"Thank you."

James waved away the sentimentality.

Soon after, he took a hot bath in the bathroom that was connected to the bedroom and changed into an extra set of bed clothes Monte gave him. He was tired and looking to get a good night's rest, if only his mind would shut down and stop sticking on the fact that Monte slept there, covered himself in these sheets, rested his head on this pillow. Oh god…

There was a noise somewhere in the room. "Monte?" Had he forgotten something? James listened hard, lying stock still with the sheets pulled up to his chin.

Footsteps. James sat up and threw on his glasses from the bedside table.

"Lumos."

He pointed his wand around the room, the light landing on the back of a tall figure standing by the window.

"Christ, Monte. You scared me."

The person turned around but it wasn't Monte.

"Who're you?" James' eyes narrowed at the cold blue eyes apprasing him. As far as he knew only Monte, Artemis and himself were supposed to be there. So who was this?

"My name is Danyeal Monte. Who're you?"

* * *

**Review my pretties ^_^**


	18. Chapter 18

**Dec 24th**

* * *

James wasn't startled.

Startled, was when you went to take a bath early in the morning, half awake and tired, and a stream of icy cold water assaults you when you distinctly remember turning the one for hot water. Startled, was when you realized your zipper was down at half-past twelve in the afternoon after walking around the entire morning oblivious, and confused about the strange looks you were getting.

James was plain thunderstruck.

Did this person just say that he was Danyeal Montè? As in, Monte's older brother? Couldn't be. James was sure Monte had said his_ late _brother when he spoke of him. Last time James checked,_ late_ in that sense meant _dead_.

But then how could he be standing there in front of him?

Was he a ghost?

James concluded that he was sleepy, and that Danyeal Monte was not in fact standing there. "Nox."

The room was plunged into darkness and James lied down again, pulling the sheet up to his nose, fully intending to go back to sleep. It had been a long day. He was tired and hungry because the stupid arse that he was had gone light on breakfast. Had he been aware of the upcoming dinner and what was on the menu he would've….

"Ahem."

Shit.

Whatever it was was still there! No, if he ignored it, it would go away at some point.

Ignore it, James. Ignore it. Ignore – the sheet was rudely yanked off of him and thrown to the ground. "Hey!"

"I asked you who you were. As a guest in someone's house you're being rude."

This arrogant bastard reminded him so much of Monte that it really was becoming easier to envision him as Danyeal Monte.

"Lumos." James sat up, keeping his wand firmly in hand – Danyeal was standing very close to the bed. "My name is James Potter." Now that James was able to see his face clearly, he did look like the person he'd saw in the picture that Monte had chased after that day, the one he had ran out into the rain for like his life had depended on it.

"Why are you here?"

"Monte invited me."

"What are you to him?" Danyeal asked with something akin to suspicion in his voice.

"A-A classmate. Why the hell are you treating me like a criminal, Monte _told_me to come here."

"A classmate?" Danyeal repeated the words like they were in a foreign language, and stuck his hands into his pockets. He drifted back over to the window, looking outside. He walked just like Monte did, James noticed.

James was confused beyond what his brain had the capacity to handle.

"Shall I tell you a story, Gabriel's classmate?"

James bristled. "The name is James, and no, I was in the middle of something in case you didn't notice, and by something, I meant going to sleep."

These brothers were so alike that the possibility that Danyeal was lying was low. Did that mean that Monte… had deceived him?

James lied down and faced the wall, not caring how rude he seemed. Why was this boy in here anyway?

"For many centuries, a certain family was among the most influential and wealthy pure-blood families in the Brittan. They had enormous power, yet craved more, and continually sought out ways to procure it. They wanted the most desired but unattainable power that wizard or muggle could have. The power of _immortality_."

James couldn't block his ears, his insides torn between interest and indifference. Danyeal's voice was like a wave, strong, magnetic and James was pulled in by the tide of intensity in which he was relating the tale.

"They were many ways, all of them ghastlier than the next, but they would not give up that easily. Some required them to kill many; some granted immortality but not eternal youth. These were not perfect in their eyes. They called upon ancient magic from many different cultures and sources and combined them. Eventually, they succeeded."

James sucked in a deep breath, sitting bolt upright. "They succeeded? You mean there's actually immortal people out there? People who can't die?"

Danyeal continued as if he hadn't heard the interruption. "They made a pact with water. It allowed them to live forever young, but at a high price."

"I thought you said the other ways were too dangerous – "

"Nothing comes without a price, Gabriel's friend. They merely considered this one the lesser of the evils. In order to maintain the pact, they had to sacrifice the first two children that every male in the family produced."

"What?" James bellowed, forgetting that it was the dead of night and that he was in someone else's home. If this was just a story, which he somehow highly doubted at this point, he wasn't enjoying it.

"They continued this practice for centuries, so that even the oldest members of the family were healthy and young. They hid themselves, to avoid suspicion and to keep their secret to themselves. But not so long ago, everything collapsed around them and they fell to their ruin.

"Two brothers and their parents lived in England. Their parents were the worst. Their mother was a muggle, but when she heard of the family's secret, she gladly accepted to join them to maintain her youth. Their father cared nothing about her, she was just a tool to give birth, and so he had many different lovers. The brothers only had each other and found solace in that when the family was chased from England."

"Chased? Why?"

"The older brother held no interest for girls. The people found his open behavior disgusting. The family was shamed beyond repair so they fled to an island with very few wizards. He hated himself and his thoughts, but a very wise old wizard made him see that there was nothing wrong with him," Danyeal said quietly, staring at his hands and yet with his painfully, distant gaze, right past them.

"No interest in girls you mean he was… gay?"

Again he was ignored.

"It was approaching the older brother's sixteenth birthday, and in order to maintain the contract, he had to marry and have two children to sacrifice. His parents did everything they could think of to get him to marry a woman, but it was no good. He would not marry for convenience, only love. And he had found someone whom he did love, but it meant that children were not possible.

"When he told his parents what he wanted they were furious, that he would throw away such a gift that anyone would kill for, for something like that. They would never let him be happy and so he renounced the water, ending the pact and dooming the family.

"From the very next day, news of family members' death came frequently, all dying by water related accidents. The older brother knew what he did was incredibly selfish but he really did think that he would be happy." His voice dipped sadly. "Unfortunately his lover only wanted the secret of immortality and left when the family began to die out. The older brother's heart was shattered. News of death came, whenever it rained. There was nothing the older brother could do but to hold his younger brother close, and whisper lies that they would be alright while wiping away his tears. When their parents died neither of the two brothers cried, but after a while, they moved back to England."

James had already connected the dots that the family being talked about was the Montes' but he still couldn't believe his ears. This was crazy! "W-What – "

"Only having each other to rely on, the brothers became extremely close. Closer than they had been before…" Danyeal looked genuinely sad in the small light being emitted from the wand. James didn't know he was gripping the bed so tightly till he let go.

"The older should have noticed it sooner. No. The older brother noticed it but pretended not to. They way his younger brother clung to him was not normal…"

"What are you saying…"

Danyeal dug his fingers roughly through his scalp, pushing back his hair. "He was young, confused. There was no one else, so the older brother spoiled him, smothered him with all the love he could ever want; gave him the attention that he needed to direct at something, someone, trying to compensate for the fact that he'd cut his little brother's life short… he didn't know any better."

James swallowed his nausea. "Do you mean Monte is, was…in lov –"

"The older brother nearly succumbed to misery when the younger brother took ill. The water would claim him soon but he was so young. Innocent. The older brother was determined to fix what he had started; he surrendered himself , to ensure the safety of his beloved brother, to protect him. The older brother was a fool. His parents were right…"

James watched silently as tears carved a trail down Danyeal's face, too struck to say anything.

"…He'd ruined the family...his brother… and for what? What he had thought – had hoped, was love? But he learned that love didn't exist. No one is completely noble. There is no such thing. Once you make yourself vulnerable and open your heart, people will hurt you, betray you…"

Danyeal's face turned hard and cold, and even though he was not sobbing openly, his tears did not stop. He glared at a spot on the floor as if seeing into another world, seeing a dream that made him angry and caused him pain. He glared at James as well, keeping a rather haughty air for a man who was crying.

"Gabriel's friend –"

"My name is, James!"

"I can see through you. Stay away from him before the cursed mark on his back is completed. Gabriel must marry a woman and reconcile the pact with the water. The way he is now, he is in danger of making my mistake. That child deserves happiness. Stay away from him."

"What? I don't want to do anything to him! I –" James' wand extinguished, engulfing the room in darkness. "What the – Lumos!"

James pointed his wand at the window and all around the room but Danyeal – real or fake – was gone.

* * *

**Thank you for all the reviews and encouragement! Chapter 19 and 20 being edited now! Love you guys!**


	19. Chapter 19

It was the first night in a long time that James battled insomnia. No matter how much he fought, his mind was still at work, re-running and analyzing information, absolutely refusing to allow him to sleep. Whenever he closed his eyes, he could hear Danyeal Montes' haunting voice recounting the story of their family and it made him shiver with something he could not name.

A few phrases stood out in particular; the sacrificing of children to prolong life, the eradication of an entire noble family by an unknown source, a complicated relationship between two brothers…The first rays of dawn found him sitting, his back propped up against the bet post, mind churning furiously, still unsure of what to think.

Along with coming with him to his family's party tonight, he had persuaded Monte into going shopping with him today after seeing the scarcity of Christmas cheer in his empty mansion. However, James wished he could retract his offer, go home alone, and not have to face the boy with all these conflicting thoughts. But he had to, after all it was him who made the offer and he never broke promises.

Dragging himself out of bed, he took his time showering, letting the warm water soothe his skin and rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes.

Somehow the matter of wearing Monte's clothes didn't bother him as much as it should have. He slipped into borrowed slacks and grey dress shirt compliments of Monte, all formal and all too big for him as he was a size smaller. It also didn't help that they carried his unique smell.

When he reached the last button on the shirt, there were several soft taps on the door. James stiffened, his blood running cold. There was only one person it could have been and he want sure if he was ready. There were two more soft knocks on the door. James hesitated, the seconds ticking by in the ringing silence. He could feign sleep and he fully planned to, that is until he heard the pained voice sneaking its way through the cracks in the door.

"James, are you awake? James…?"

The intimate use of his first name caught him, as he had no memory of Monte ever using it before, not to mention that sadness in his voice. James crossed the room in three strides, afraid that something might have happened and wrenched the door open in one swift movement. Monte stepped in past him, carrying a breakfast tray.

"Good morning," Monte said softly, laying the table. The sunlight was weak, but its reflection off the snow made the room bright and highlighted Montes' back, visibly tense under his thin shirt.

"Monte?"

"I brought us a light breakfast before we head into London so eat up," he continued, paying no attention to James' efforts to interject.

James took a seat as Monte shakily poured them two steaming cups of tea, spilling some on the crisp white tablecloth but not being bothered enough to clean it.

James had pancakes which were sitting in a moat of syrup, an assortment of berries dusted – very heavily – with sugar placed neatly at the top, while Monte had a bowl of strawberry jam, but James, having become accustomed to this strangeness, said nothing about it. Even if he wanted to, the sight of the boy's waxy complexion and red, puffy eyes underlined by dark circles made him think better of it. Seems he wasn't the only one who had to endure a sleepless night.

_He looks so ill_…

Asking if he was alright was silly, as he so clearly was not and touching on the old man Artemis' health was like throwing salt in a fresh wound. So here Monte was, like a child that had been reprimanded, eating his food dutifully, sullenly, eyes downcast, afraid of another scolding and James couldn't think of anything to say.

"You look sick. Are you feeling okay?" He sighed inwardly at his lack of tact.

"I'm fine."

"And I'm actually a cleverly disguised mountain troll."

"I know."

They both smiled at each other for a moment, James sensing that Monte knew what he wanted to say even though he couldn't find the right words.

Things wouldn't be bad this way, if he and Monte could get along and be civil with each other. And as James watched him ladling spoonfuls of Jam into his mouth, he kept recalling the story, that when faced with morning light, he could have almost mistaken for a dream.

* * *

"Okay, so the point of this venture is to get presents ?"

After they had apparated to a popular street in London, James felt lost. He never had a knack for this Christmas present thing, but this year he wanted to get something for everyone.

They were walking slowly on a white carpet of snow that covered the ground. "Yeah."

The sun had long since been swallowed up by grey clouds but the street did not feel dreary. There were white lights everywhere, strung through trees, snaked around street lamps, sign posts, red and green tinsel on everything. If it was vertical, it could not escape.

Anticipation was everywhere and hoards of shoppers crammed in every store.

"It's like a bloody madhouse," James said in awe as he watched a couple of burly women fighting over the only coat left on a rack in a clothing store. Monte laughed.

He still looked pale but to his credit, he was trying. It was hard for James to be insensitive when he was like this. He had a million questions he wanted to ask but now was not the time.

"Well, what's the plan?" Monte asked, hands in his pockets, twirling a candy cane is his mouth that James was sure was not there a minute before.

James took out a piece of parchment from his pocket with a list. "Um, I have to get gifts for mum and dad – "He eyed Monte for a reaction, "– something for Lily too, I guess."

There was none except that he nodded his head. James knew as much but it never hurt to be one hundred percent sure. "Something for the guys…" he sighed.

"Do you know what you're going to buy?"

"Not a clue."

Monte sighed too. "Guess I should help you seeing as you're obviously lacking."

"Obviously," James said gritting his teeth. He had forgotten how annoying Monte could be when he was his normal self.

Almost every store had its own small Christmas tree in front of it, or a dancing Santa, or a real – awkwardly stuffed imposter – viciously ringing a bell under people's noses when they passed. James had just become a victim. He turned out his pockets and shrugged, looking apologetic. He didn't have muggle money anyway.

The Santa was unconvinced, probably thinking he was cheap or stingy, and flipped him off.

James' jaw dropped. So much for Christmas cheer.

"James! Stop for a moment."

James looked back and saw that Monte had stopped and was perched on a bench. He hadn't even noticed.

"Yeah, merry Christmas to you too," James yelled at the rude Santa, returning the favor with both hands as he was backing away.

He sat beside Monte, wondering when exactly it became okay for him to use his first name that often. Or use it at all for that matter! "What?" he asked, looking at his feet.

"Let me think for a moment." He placed his head in his hands.

"You called me so I could watch you think?"

"Well you _could_help," he returned sarcastically.

James couldn't concentrate. So many bustling people passing them by. Over the other side of the road a small choir was heralding passersby with carols, their voices harmonizing beautifully. Every light was brighter, even the ones on the passing vehicles were made dazzling by the Christmas air. This was hands down James' favorite time of the year.

Monte sat up abruptly and looked at James who for some reason was startled. His dark hair and coat really emphasized his eyes to the point where they were surprising at such a close proximity.

"Women love Jewelry, it's a well known fact." He sounded like Sirius at this point. "A nice necklace for your mother. A pocket watch for your father. Every proper gentleman should have one…"

James raised an eyebrow. "'Every proper gentleman?' I don't have one. Guess that makes me a pig."

Monte smirked, but didn't remark. "I think you should pick something for flower on your own."

"Hmm." James was satisfied with his choices. They all seemed fine to him. "Okay, but we should still look around and keep an open mind."

"Right, but let's see what we can find in Diagon Alley first just in case."

They found a deserted alley with mounds of trash scattered everywhere and apparated out of the sight of anyone.

Diagon Alley was no less festive that London had been. The street was crammed with a thick flow of wizards and witches.

They'd exchanged a cautious glance but decided to brave it.

It was hard to get a look at anything; they had to squeeze themselves into several shops and had to contend with appraising items over many a shoulder. Four hours later James flopped down in a chair of a sidewalk café and splayed his head over the table. "This is hopeless!" They hadn't bought anything and his frustration had reached its peak.

"Relax. We've got lots of time," Monte said in soft, soothing tones.

"I'm tired."

"I didn't think you were this much of a complainer, Potter."

"So I'm potter again," James mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm not complaining, I'm stating facts, which are, this is outrageous! That fake mistletoe that coughed itching powder was genius though." He could imagine Sirius' face if he saw it. Well that settled his gift. If there were anymore left by the time the crown thinned.

James heard Monte sigh and felt him get up from the table. A moment later he laced his fingers around James' elbow, tugging him lightly. He got to his feet and followed willingly. Monte bought him a warm pastry filled with cinnamon apple, while leading him back into the same jewelry store where their attempts had been less than successful.

James groaned with irritation.

"Let me handle this," Monte said confidently, instructing James to wait in a corner by the door. This shop was mostly occupied by women, who were hawking the jewelry like there was no tomorrow. He watched curiously, Monte stealthily easing up to a woman who was scrutinizing a fat gold necklace with a heart shaped ruby pendant. She had it on her neck ten minutes ago when they came in before, now she held it on her hand, still admiring herself in the mirror, unable to decide if it had what it took to call her glorious neck its home.

Monte shook his head to make the hair fall into his eyes, smoothing down the back, pulled up the collar of his coat till he resembled a vicar and licked his lips.

"What a lovely necklace you have there, miss," he said silkily, loud enough for his voice to catch the attention of all the women in the tight circle. "It would look even lovelier on you. May I?" Monte took it from her hand, making sure to brush his fingers against the skin of her collarbone, and secured it around her neck. James' pastry nearly fell from his hands.

The women looked on in what James could only describe as wonderment, and he noted how Monte towered above them. They may as well have had sparkles in their eyes from the way they were eyeing this tall, dashing young man.

The lady who Monte put the necklace on was blushing furiously and he made a show of letting her admire it in a mirror, with his face looming close to hers, pretending to be admiring their reflections, his hand resting on her shoulder. "Simply stunning," he said in her ear, her eyes fluttering. She looked like she was about to faint. "I'll take it," she said shrilly to the clerk, who looked genuinely thankful that things had calmed down and they had all stopped yelling at once. He might've even been thinking to hire Monte fulltime.

"How does this look?" A woman with long blonde hair old enough to be their mother asked him with a peculiar glint in her eyes.

"Wonderful. I think it would go perfect with the delicate shade of your complexion," he said smiling, turning away before she opened her mouth to continue their conversation.

James wondered how fast these women would vacate this shop, faces hidden or heads bowed if they were to find out that Casanova was only seventeen!

"Could you excuse me please, I'd like to have a look." They allowed him room enough to peruse the glass case but still formed a small circle formed around him to make sure he wouldn't escape.

Oh Monte was good. Very good. Maybe good enough to make Sirius whimper in pain. So this was how he'd managed to catch Lily? Even James could admit that he was charismatic even from where he was standing. And he was a man. Imagine how it would be if he was a woman then, and Monte had come up to him, with a disarming smile that held a tinge of sadness to place a piece of jewelry around his neck, fingers sliding over his skin, warm breath ghosting against his ear, the heat that he would be able to feel pouring off him if his body was so close and… James' thoughts were misbehaving, earning his head two hard cuffs.

When he had bought what James had sent him for, he all but dragged him out of that lion's den, much to the displeasure of the women who sighed in disappointment, but he made sure to leave them with his most apologetic of smiles, pocket stuffed with pieces of parchment that they'd subtly put in there.

He handed James the parcel as they had taken back up their seats at the café. James examined the contents: a necklace for his mother, the pocket watch for his father with an intricate carving on the outside that Monte picked out, and for lily, hair clips with tiny, green butterflies at the end that fluttered their wings and sparkled in the sunlight. He chose them himself, hoping she would like them. James eyed Monte's smug expression and glared at him.

"What?" he asked, drumming his fingers nonchalantly?

"What are you gonna do with those?" James looked pointedly at his pocket.

Monte smiled. "I don't know. I may keep them to use as fodder to feed my fireplace on a cold day."

"Didn't know you had a knack with the ladies," James teased.

"Neither did I… but they aren't terribly complicated creatures though. It takes little to nothing to please them."

"They way you say it…" was like he held them in contempt.

"We still have some time. What do you want to do?" Monte asked, taking a bite of James' unfinished apple tart. Was this a change of subject?

"Dunno." A lady passed then, hand in hand with man, and still had the audacity to not very discreetly eye Monte and flash him a little smile he apparently either did not notice or did not care. James didn't know why but it made him bristle. Couldn't she see he was with someone! Wait… It s not like they were a couple or anything. He wasn't a woman for Merlin's sake so it was acceptable – but it got on his nerves!

"I think we should head back to London," James suggested, still glaring at Monte as if it was his fault for being too damn handsome. If his self confidence was a little lower, being around Monte would make him want to take his bruised male pride, huddle in a corner and cry at his pitiful existence.

"Ok, did I do something?"

"No," James answered shortly.

It was little after three on the afternoon when they returned to London. Still cloudy, it had a nice feel to it and they decided to stroll around for a bit and, dare James say it, enjoy each other's company a little more.

They walked for a bit, stopping every now and they to buy something hot to drink to warm them up. It was nice, somewhere in the back of James' mind he thought about how it would be if he brought Lily on a date like this.

No! This wasn't a date! Did it feel like one? He didn't have any prior dating experience to compare it to. Did it feel like a date to Monte? Couldn't they _just_ be two blokes,_ just_ going about their business but incidentally_ happen_to be going about it together? It would feel normal if it was any one of the marauders and him.

He glanced over at Monte who appeared normal, except his cheeks were pink. He was sucking on a peppermint candy cane (where was he hiding them?), looking around casually if not bored. James didn't know why he was being so stupid. Was something wrong with him?

After a cool fifteen minute walk, they came upon a park, gravitating to its entrance out of instinct. An old man sat with a little carriage and horse, yawning and trying not to nod off to sleep when he saw them approaching. The prospect of customers awoke him. He sat upright, straightening his hat on his head.

"Still tired?" Monte asked James.

"Not really."

He shrugged, "doesn't matter. How much is a ride around the park?"

He surveyed them up and down, taking into account the fine quality of their clothes. "Er… five – no, ten pounds. Ten pounds young sir, yes."

"Oi, you've got muggle money?" James whispered.

"Yes. Not a lot, but more than enough for a ride."

Monte handed him the money and climbed into the polished red sleigh, gold and green designs patterned on its side. Two horses neighed, rising up on their hind leg. The old man got up on to the front and took the reins.

"Are you sure those animals are safe? They look hostile."

Monte laughed. "Of course they're safe. I prefer them to the ones at school. Come on up before we leave you."

The sleigh struck him as too small from the start. Another word described its cozy feeling but he would prefer not to think it. _Too romantic_. T

hey moved slowly, down a path flanked by trees which were all dried and black, but the lights that connected them to each other and the blanket of snow all over the ground and caught in their branches softened their hardness. A pleasant breeze caressed his face. It was probably a staple of couples at Christmas to take these kinds of rides. Monte had his arms crossed and his head resting back, looking up into the sky. James actually felt at ease and comfortable. There were no worries plaguing him that had been a couple of days before.

It felt calm being here like this, so he too rested his head back and just enjoyed it. He took out the hair clips he'd bought for Lily and looked at them again. Why'd he never thought of buying a gift for her before? Such an obvious and easy way to get her to appreciate his effort, by giving her something he, not Sirius, picked, from his heart.

"James?"

_He's calling me James again_. James hadn't noticed Monte watching him. "What is it?"

"How strongly do you feel for Lily?"

James froze; he wasn't expecting a question like that. The agreeable atmosphere demanded that he be polite and above all, honest. It was a fair question even though he couldn't fathom why Monte was asking him this out of the blue.

"I-I've had a crush on her for as long as I could remember."

"Would you call it love?"

"I-I don't know, exactly."

There was a pause in which Monte continued to stare at him intently.

"Why are you asking me this?"

Monte took so long James though that he wasn't going to answer. "The only reason I advanced on Lily in the first place –"

"Was to annoy me," James finished grudgingly. He figured as much.

"I know that would be flattering to you. That's_ a_ reason but not the _main _one. Originally, it was to convince her to retake Severus as her friend."

"What?"

"I don't know exactly how you feel about her but Severus is my friend. And for as long as you've had a crush on her, twice as long, he's loved her.

James was siilent.

"I know it seems hard to believe, but I know this as a fact. I've never seen a love as pure and as unwavering as his. I think that he would go his entire life alone if he could not have her. Coming from a cold person like him that's… I wanted to help him. I know he made a mistake but her not speaking to him devastated him." Monte looked like he was million miles away as he talked. He spoke very fondly about snivelly.

"I hated her, for what she was putting him though" he said softly.

"Oi – " hated? Wasn't that too strong a word?

"I hated you too."

James froze.

"You're mean to him every chance you get. You pick on him for no reason; demean him because you feel like it. Just because you two are different."

"I – "

"I didn't want to admit it but I was completely envious of her too. That she could have someone could love her so selflessly… that everything was about her. You wanted her as well. I wondered what it was about her."

There was another pause. James tried to process all of this. "Are you still trying to get her for him?"

Monte sighed. "Honestly I haven't tried all that hard. Instead of me helping him to win her she got infatuated with me, though I think it's purely superficial."

"Maybe she doesn't feel the same way about him."

"I've considered that…" Monte said thoughtfully.

"Do you still hate me?"

Monte laughed, sending his breath out in a frozen mist. "I don't hate you as much as you do me."

"I don't hate you Monte," James said quickly. "You just pissed me off sometimes. You really don't –?" James was finding it hard to continue

"No I don't, James. I think that's the effect of getting to know someone before you pass judgment or dislike them because of what you _think _they are."

James felt very ashamed of himself.

"C'mon" Monte grabbed him by the wrist and jumped out of the sleigh.

"Hold on. What're you doing?"

"Sitting still is a pain." He tried to say it nonchalantly but failed. Perhaps when he stopped moving, he thought of his sickly guardian?

"Let's take a walk then," James suggested, seeing a shadow about to creep its way back into Monte's eyes. He nodded but his mood had noticeably declined.

"Christmas was always my favorite time of year. I dunno, it just always made me feel optimistic, like the air is different from all through the year. I kinda just put everything into perspective and be hopeful that things will get better." James smiled, encouraging the boy to do the same. It didn't feel quite as oppressing cheering him up this time. "Now let's have fun."

Before Monte could answer James had rolled a handful of snow quick as lightning, turned around and launched it at his head. But Monte's reflexes were quicker than expected, and he ducked just in time.

"Wow," James breathed, "ever thinking of joining the quidditch team? No, wait that wouldn't be beneficial to me would it."

"Underhanded."

James raised an eyebrow. "There's no such word when it comes to snow ball war, Monte."

"Okay then, just remember who said it," he said with a playful smirk, holding something that looked suspiciously like his wand.

"Wait! No magic, Monte!" Too late. He was assaulted with rapid snowball after the other without mercy. They knocked him up against the head, in his face and chest, when he turned to shield his front, his back was pummeled. He barely had time to think. Monte could see him, he needed to hide. He dashed behind the bark of a skinny tree which couldn't protect him, but it took a small portion of the damage so he could gather himself.

He waited until the torrent died down somewhat and made a scurry for a larger cover, zig zagging to evade the attack that bombarded trees and sent snow that had been caught in the branches raining down.

Panting, he slid down behind a low snow-white hedge, and as fast as he could, secured ammunition. His hands worked fast as he could, molding ice into circles, bigger than average. This was war after all.

How did Monte manage to send them without rolling the snow? James feared he'd met his match in magic as well. He paused. It was quiet. Nothing was moving.

He peered through the tightly woven brambles and saw nothing but he kept his wand gripped tight. Shuffling around on his knees, he looked from the other side. Nothing was where Monte was supposed to be. He moved his hands faster to create more snowballs in this lull.

Something drifted across his senses, a smell. He'd smelled it before but where? It reminded him of that time he was doing rounds and got caught up in Charlie's prank with the amortentia. The fruity scent he couldn't place at the time but he'd remembered smelling it again.

He closed his eyes… he couldn't forget it now, especially not after inhaling it the previous day and night… when he was in Monte's bedroom…

James opened his eyes quickly and looked up into green eyes and a wide smile. Monte was leaning over the hedge, hanging his head over James, the end of his hair touching the lens of James' glasses. In the two seconds it took James to shake off his initial shock at the closeness he could not raise his wand in time, and Monte dumped a handful of snow on his head.

James jumped up, and sent his snowballs flying in counterattack, being pelted in return by Monte who was balancing on the back of a bench and brandishing his wand like a sword.

Monte was smiling. And he was smiling. More than smiling, he was laughing harder than he had in months. He felt light, even giddy, having so much fun with another person, no complicated thoughts to hinder him. He could let himself go, take pleasure in the moment for what it was. It felt like the first breath he'd taken after being suffocated.

They ducked and weaved between trees, pelting each other, but when James stopped to catch his breath, Monte disappeared. "Oi. Monte?" James hid again quickly, sensing a sneak attack, not realizing he'd picked the worse possible place. Just as he turned around, Monte snatched his glasses off his face.

He blinked, everything was instantly blurred.

"Monte! Shit this isn't funny!"

"Find me, James," he whispered, too close to James' ear .He rubbed away the warmth that sent a shiver through him.

"Monte?" He reached out his hands, stumbling. Trees looked liked long jagged poles, the snow like blank sheets of paper, white and endless.  
"Over here."

"Come on give 'em back." Truth was he felt vulnerable. His heart was speeding up without his consent and he didn't know why. He felt anxious, but so good. It was a feeling he'd never felt. He caught a flash of Monte's black coat flying behind him. He tried to follow it.

He stubbed his toe on a hidden rock and fell to his knees. His fingers grazed the rough bark of a tree.

"You really are blind as a bat without these," Monte teased.

James tried to follow his voice, but he was whispering deliberately. There was something very flirty about this.

"I –" Monte was directly in front of him but all he could see were bright green things, staring at him. He reached out his hand.

Monte backed away from within his reach but held James' out stretched hand, helping him to his feet and then letting it go slowly. James smiled.

His fingers barely flitted over touches of Monte's hand, or his shirt, or his hair, when he tried to catch him. He was teasing him mercilessly and James liked it, but decided to not play in a game where he did not make the rules. This whole thing was getting out of hand, feeling way too nice.

"I surrender!" He shouted, out of breath, resting his back against a tree. "I give up Monte, you win!"

"You're no fun." A voice in his ear. The green things were back again. Monte slipped his glasses back onto his eyes, the sudden clarity too sharp in comparison to the blur that had preceded it. Monte was too close again, his had propped by James head preventing escape. James heart ran – or flew, whichever was faster – to his throat and lodged itself there in fear, but the boy merely lied down on the ground.

Breathing a sigh of relief, James joined him, looking up at the snow that had begun to fall lightly, absently rubbing circles over his heart.

Thinking about today and how much he enjoyed it, he remembered Monte telling him about trying to hook snivellus and lily up and being jealous of her. What did he say? He was jealous that someone could love her so selflessly? It really made it plain that James knew nothing about him. Other than the facts that he liked to annoy him, eat sweets, and had a soft spot for a geasy slytherin. He didn't _know_ him, yet there had been a point where he truly disliked him.

No I don't, James. I think that's the effect of getting to know someone before you pass judgment or dislike them because of what you think they are.

"Monte, can I ask you a question?"

"What is it?"

"Where did you grow up?" He could see him smiling out of his peripheral vision.

"Why do you ask?"

"Just curious."

"I was born in England, but my family moved to an island when I was young. I've lived there most of my life. I only came back to England a few years before."

It matched what Danyeal had said. Did that mean that the entire story was true? Could Monte become immortal? James caught a glimpse of chain hanging around Monte's neck when his scarf became loose.

"No wonder you have an accent. I've noticed you said certain words strangely but I never said anything. What's it like there?"

Monte laughed, so light and happy, tuning to face James, his head resting on his hand, his hair falling naturally, artfully, into his eyes. "It's wonderful. Sunshine all year round, the blue ocean that goes on forever. Palm trees and flowers and fruit tress everywhere. The sunsets that dye everything red, the sound of the waves at night. So many stars… and on full moons…" he sighed dreamily.

"You make it sound wonderful."

James could picture him, lounging on one of those beach chairs with a tropical drink and a flashy shirt, the balmy breezes ruffling his hair, with a hoard of impeccably tanned, bathing suit clad women surrounding him, winking to get his attention, and – he'd be better off to cut that train of thought right there.

"I'd like to see it." James mused. He really would.

"Well you've got your whole life ahead of you. I'm sure you'll visit sometime. The only good thing about London is the snow at winter to me. I prefer the warm weather."

"Do you miss it?"

"Sometimes…"

James knew that prying further would touch uncomfortable places, and they were having such a good time, he didn't want to ruin it. Monte moved closer to him, his hair splayed out over the snow, eyes closed. James turned into him as well, knowing that this pushed the boundary of what was considered acceptable, straying away from what could be seen as an acceptable closeness. Their faces were inches from each other.

"Were you happy?"

"No," he replied without hesitation, without opening his eyes. He exhaled, a snowflake falling onto his open mouth. He licked his lips. "We should head to your home soon."

"Yeah." James had almost forgotten. It was hard thinking about going the party alone without any of his friend. His friends that were growing apart so fast that the rift was almost invisible, but it was there. He threw his hands over his face, aware that Monte was watching him.

"I – I wish I could stay a little longer you know. Time never slows down when you want it to."

"Stay longer? Did you forget who you're with?"

"No. I didn't," James said seriously, looking into his eyes. Green like Lily's but not as heavy, paler, cooler, like the shores of a tropical beach, but no less captivating.

"I can't control time but how's this? Aresto Momentum." The snowflakes fell so slowly, giving the illusion that time had slowed down to encase them in their own white world.

"How's that?"

"Perfect." James didn't break eye contact, wondering what it would be like if he closed the space between them.

* * *

**sends love! please review!**


	20. Chapter 20

Dec 24th

Gabriel poked his head from between two little shrubs laced with miniature twinkling stars and looked around the front path. All clear. A loud hum of conversation was coming from inside of the house he was now hiding out front of.

Cat was on his shoulder, digging his claws into his coat in effort to get a grip from falling off. Yes, he'd agreed to come, but now that he was here, the convenient fact that he hated crowds resurfaced. "There'll only be a few people. Friends of the family, a little get together," James had said so carelessly that Gabriel was foolish enough to believe him. There were certainly more than a few voices coming from inside that house! He was never good with vast amounts of people. It reminded him of all those times he was forced into starched dress clothes, trailing blindly behind his parents who introduced Daniel to guests but conveniently forgot he was there or a human being with feelings capable of being hurt for that matter. His feet would ache and even though he was not needed, he was also not allowed to sit or leave their portrait of a perfect family.

He could still return home, there was nothing that said he needed to keep up his end of the deal. Admittedly, months prior he would have agreed to it, just to back out at the last moment to cause James distress all so he could laugh about it later. Presently, that notion was somewhat unthinkable, especially when he thought of the fact that James didn't want to come because he thought none of his friends were and that he would be alone. This was one thing Gabriel could relate to so he felt an obligation to help if he could. Also the day had been pleasurable in a way that he would not have thought possible for them in each others company.

"Monte?" He looked up to see James peering down at him from the front window. Gabriel, standing and brushing the dirt from his pants, met James who'd moved from the window and opened the front door.

"What the hell are you doing in the bushes?"

James looked pleasant with that slightly stunned look, his cheeks glowing from probably more than one alcoholic drink, but Gabriel would refrain from commenting on the garish red and green Christmas sweater he was sporting. He instead admired his courage for wearing it. "I was…preparing myself. But that is not a small gathering in there!"

"Yeah, sorry, it turned out more people came than I thought would bother to," he mumbled unhelpfully, scratching his head. Wait is that a … kitten on your shoulder?" James asked after squinting at like fiercely. Just how many drinks had he consumed?

"Yes. I couldn't leave him alone." Gabriel scratched Cat's ears.

"Is that the cat I almost gave to Lily?" he laughed, maybe at the memory of that idiotic, failed idea.

"Yes."

"He's gotten big. What's his name?"

"His name is Cat."

"Sounds about right for someone like you. Can't believe you actually kept it though," James replied wistfully, staring at Gabriel in what he would say was a dazed way, then shaking it away. "C'mon I promise no one'll bother you."

"Oh, here." Gabriel gave him a platter and a bottle of rum that he'd brought.

"Cake?" James asked curiously, examining it from all sides and smiling. "You bake it?"

"Yes, it's a traditional rum black cake. People eat it at Christmas on the island but go easy on it, it's pretty strong so – "

He'd lost him at rum. James' face lit up and he was no longer listening, if he ever was.

"It won't go to waste, I promise. Follow me; I see a corner with your name on it." James then did the unthinkable, he held Gabriel's hand, lacing their fingers together and led him between the throngs of chatting people.

A large Christmas tree stood in the middle of the room, decorated and shining with all multicolored balls that swirled like miniature galaxies with numerous brightly wrapped presents creating its base. Tinsel was everywhere, wrapped around the stair case, trimmed around doors and over the fireplace mantle, basically anything that could hold it. Candle lights made the room glow warmly. Everyone was talking, laughing, hugging. It almost overwhelmed Gabriel. So this was what Christmas looked like to normal people.

He noticed many pictures on the wall as they passed, a small James holding his first broom and his parents beaming, a nervous looking James at the train station, his hat completely obscuring his tiny eleven year old head and again, his parents smiling like they couldn't have been happier. All of the pictures followed this pattern; a big, happy, smiling family, compared to his staged photographs with his parents and brother where none of them smiled, or laughed, or touched, or even bothered pretending to look happy for the sake of creating and preserving a false memory. If nothing else, at least they were honest.

James was pulling him with sudden urgency. He had no idea why but followed obediently, losing himself in all the memories being here brought back from his childhood.

"James!"

James cursed. He tugged Gabriel to the left but a chubby wizard chose that precise moment to walk across their path and stop to engage a woman in conversation therefore blocking them from escaping.

"James, sweetie!"

It was a thin woman in a fitted red dress with shoulder length brown hair and a kind looking middle aged man with a head of such untamable hair that Gabriel knew who they were at once without asking. There were the Potters. They were a little older than in the photos, fortunate enough to have their bliss etched around their eyes and mouth.

Judging from the look on James face, this was the reason that they were sneaking around.

"Who is this charming young man? I don't think we've met him before." If he could have, Gabriel had the impression that James would have disowned him at once, there was just the small fact that he was still holding his hand and had not yet let go.

"He's uh… he's um…he's…he's…"

James was struggling, his face drained of its colour. With furtive glances, his eyes pleaded, 'please help me!' but Gabriel was feeling naughty. Hey, he was allowed to give trouble once in a while; he couldn't lose his edge _just _yet. So as Mr. and Mrs. Potter watched James expectantly Gabriel did too, making sure to look as polite and interested in James' answer as they were, instead of coming to his aid.

Why was it so hard to label him? _Them_. Maybe James didn't think of him as a friend yet, which was understandable but still...

"He's…from Hogwarts. He's in my year." His parents exchanged glances at the vague explanation.

"A friend of yours then?" his father asked. James looked like he would throw up if he opened his mouth. Gabriel however smiled at them and held out his hand for them to take. He would introduce himself like he'd been taught.

"Gabriel Montè. It's a pleasure to meet you. A lovely celebration you have here if I may say."

"Why thank you," James' mother gushed, shocked to see a teenager with such good manners.

"Don't be so formal. Any friend of James is welcome anytime!" James' father unashamedly gripped him in a bear hugged, while his mother laughed, taking a sip of wine from her glass.

"Dad!"

"That reminds me, I haven't seen your friends or the girl you – "

James immediately dragged Gabriel away, before his father could finish.

"It was nice meeting you! Have fun Gabriel," James' mother shouted after them, waving.

They ended up in the only empty room, the kitchen. James was preparing a bowl of milk for Cat, mumbling under his breath. His face was still red.

"Your parents are very nice people, James."

James grunted irritably. "It wouldn't have killed you to help me." He sloshed milk all over the counter, his hand trembling. "Goddammit." He leaned over, digging his palms roughly into his eyes, noticeably aggravated.

"Are you that frustrated your friends aren't here?" Gabriel folded his arms, resting his back on the counter and staring at James who took a deep breath and resumed pouring the milk like nothing had happened.

"I'm not frustrated."

"Do your parents know you drink?"

"My mum thinks it's the sign of a healthy man of age to have a drink every now and then."

"And your dad?"

"Thinks I can't handle anything stronger than pumpkin juice."

"I agreed to come with you in place of them didn't I?" Why did he say that? Now that it was out of his mouth it sounded whiny, and now James was looking at him oddly again. They both knew the unsaid sentence that followed. _Shouldn't it be enough that I'm here?_

Something chimed, tinkling like sleigh bells.

"What's that?" Gabriel asked to break the building tension.

"The door." But James was still looking at him, ignoring it.

"You should get that. It's probably your Christmas present."

"What? What present – when did you – ?"

James, eyes wide, maneuvered through the living room rather quickly, Gabriel behind him but at a safe distance so ensuring he had a clear view and was in earshot. Excitement and anxiety made James fumble with the door for a good ten seconds.

Gabriel didn't know what James had expected but whatever it was it was evident that it wasn't what he found.

Standing outside looking cold but pleased, were Remus, Sirius, Peter and surprising of all, Lily.

"Merry Christmas!" they said in unison, barging past him into the warmth as he was too stunned to let them in immediately. It had begun to snow. James was engulfed in hugs from all around.

"Wha – Wha…"

"Come on Pongs, you've got to be more articulate than that," Sirius joked.

"What thought we wouldn't come?"

Even Lily hugged him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

"N-No…" James stammered

"How could we not seeing that mushy letter you sent us," the small one Gabriel knew as Peter said.

"Letter?" James asked, clearly confused.

"Come off it! Wouldn't have pegged you for the sentimental type though," Sirius said.

"You should've just told us it meant that much to you from the beginning." Remus pulled him into a one-armed hug.

Gabriel couldn't help the smile, James seemed so confused, and dazed and happy, like a child in the presence of a staggering mound of gifts at Christmas, a look that did him well.

They shook him. "Say something!"

"I'm just so happy to see you – " And you could tell that he genuinely was.

Anymore of this sickening scene and Gabriel would lose his sanity. He remembered a door in the kitchen that led to the yard and decided to get some air. When he looked back, he saw James submerged in a group hug but he was looking directly at him.

* * *

The Potters had also decorated their yard it seemed. Lanterns were placed at strategic intervals, each emitting a different color flame that made the area ethereal.

Beneath a large tree there was a wooden bench, so Gabriel sat down, his hand slung freely over the back, sipping a short glass of brown rum which he held of the other, watching the snow fall slowly.

What was he doing? Had he not pride, writing degrading sappy letters to James' moronic friends?

Weren't they supposed to be his enemies? The lot of them bullied his one true friend because they were bored. Rightly so that he should despise them.

But not James.

Not anymore.

How ironic that he would become this close to him after his initial reason for approaching him, was to steal Lily from under his nose and present her to Severus.

That had of course backfired horribly. Lily had instead formed an attachment to him, and he one to James. The boy now knew more about him than even Severus did. It was easier to talk to James. He could admit that. James' whole air made him approachable. But whose fault was it that Severus was not? Theirs! They had scarred him, made him into what he was, and unknowingly making him into what he was becoming. Gabriel was afraid that he would be powerless to prevent it and too late to stop him.

He frowned up at the clouds.

The back door opened and someone stumbled out. Gabriel prepared to get up and head back inside, or head home for that matter. He'd left Artemis all alone and it was weighing on his mind. He realized that it was James, holding a larger than was advisable glass of rum.

"Potter, that's not like firewhiskey. That could knock you off your feet if you're not careful."

James crashed down next to him. "Call me James." The alcohol content on his breath could put down a small child.

"James, you're drinking too much," Gabriel reproached, covering the mouth of James' glass with his palm and pushing it away from the boy's mouth.

"Why?"

Gabriel knew what he was asking. At this point he could play dumb but decided not to beat around the bush. "I knew it was something you really wanted."

James turned towards him. "How could you know that, Monte? You don't know me."

He decided not to be offended as he hadn't said it in a bad way. He took a sip from his glass.

"Oh but you're allowed to drink?" James said playfully.

"Yes. I have control."

Gabriel let the moment swell, knowing full well that James was awaiting his answer. He turned to look at him. "It's not hard to look at you and know that your friends mean the world to you, James. You're fiercely loyal; you'd do anything for them. Despite doing and saying idiotic things sometimes, it's not hard to see the real you, and figuring out what would please you."

James looked away, taking a deep breath. "I'm an only child. My parents always spoiled me but it was always just me, and even though they were always there and gave me everything I wanted…. It was still always just me. When I met Sirius and Remus and Pete… I felt like…" The glass trembled in his hand, his brows drew together and he smiled, as if lost in a sweet memory, his lips quivered. "I felt like I finally wasn't alone anymore. They mean so much to me." He held the bottom of the glass to his forehead. Gabriel had never seen him so emotionally vulnerable. He was glad that he had indeed persuaded them to come.

He was unsure of what to say or do for him so he allowed him a moment to compose himself before changing the subject.

"Just before the holidays when you first told me about the rift between you, I'd always planned to give you this though." He dug into his pocket, and enlarged the small thing he had hidden there.

"A book?" James flipped through it. "Its empty. A _diary_?" he asked in revulsion.

"I prefer the word_ journal_, but it's not like a normal one. It's charmed to ensure that you'll not feel lonely when you write in it. I guarantee it."

James' eyes were closing, but he turned to Gabriel in his inebriated state, his nose and cheek red. "Thank you. For this and for bringing my friends," he slurred, his head resting on Gabriel's shoulder, their knees bumping. Gabriel took James' drink from him and transferred it to his cup. Something this precious shouldn't be wasted.

"You're welcome, James." He was a good person, Gabriel decided; perhaps it would not be so bad to see how the romance and Lily played out? She would be in good hands. Maybe, hopefully, Severus could persuade his heart to forget her. But why had James come outside, when his friends were finally at his side?

"Look up," James breathed on his neck.

Puzzled, and thinking James was just mumbling incoherently, Gabriel obeyed hesitantly. Perched above them on a branch was a sprig of mistletoe. When did that appear there! That was not there when he came out but the Potters were a crafty bunch.

"Won't –make a mistake this time," James was mumbling into Gabriel's coat. His head was now resting on his shoulder. Without warning, James pressed his hand into Gabriel's chest and shot up, pressing their lips softly together. His eyes wide, Gabriel froze, too petrified to reciprocate or think or breathe.

James pulled away, looked at him through heavy hazel eyes and passed out on his lap.

Two seconds ago, Gabriel was contemplating giving James and Lily his blessing.

He pressed trembling fingers to his lips and stared down and a mess of hair on his lap.

Things just got very, _very _complicated.


	21. Chapter 21

James takes the stairs one at a time, carefully, dragging his feet that are as heavy as sandbags while trying to squint away the blurriness that is eating away at his vision. His head is spinning, and slanting and grating and doing everything else that makes him unbalanced.

His hand is running along the wall, taking in the texture of the striped wallpaper, acting as a stabilizer, guiding him to his room safely.

The house is quiet. It must be early in the morning.

The party is over.

He laughs – pretty loudly only he doesn't realize it – at something he remembers happening that night and nearly trips over his shoes.

"Oh, shit…"

His stomach is starting to take cues from his head but throwing up here would do more harm than good. His mother likes to pretend she has a gift for household spells but she really doesn't and if the carpet is stained, James wouldn't be seeing Hogwarts until he scrubbed it out.

He levels his breathing. _Deep breaths… Deep breaths… you're not new to liquor, Prongs_. But he is new to this type and this quantity. He should've listened to Monte.

His bedroom door is before him, so no worries. He'll sleep it off; he's got no pressing plans tomorrow.

Sweaty hands, uneven vision, hysterical laughter, it's a wonder he gets the door open.

He stumbles in, discarding his obnoxious Christmas sweater and tweed slacks as he's hot now. Too hot. He's left in his long-sleeved cotton undershirt and his festive candy cane patterned boxers. His hair matted to his forehead with sweat.

He goes to the frost covered window and presses his cheek against it, enjoying how it makes his hot body feel cool.

There are fingers, dancing their way underneath his shirt and up his back, walking around his sides and across his belly.

He turns around.

Monte is standing behind him. ."I must say that these are perfect, if not a little ironic." He pulls the waistband of James' boxers and lets it go.

"Monte? W-Why're you in… in my house?" he slurs, swallowing a lump in his throat.

"You're in _my _room," he replies croakily, his lips forming a half sneer that is unnaturally sexy.

And so he is. He recognizes everything; Monte's wardrobe, his bureau, his bed, his side table where one sole candle flickers.

"Why are you here, James?"

He's staring; at the disheveled hair that hangs in his face, his bedroom eyes, thickly lashed and heavy, seductive, his pouted lips, parted. "I don't know, I thought…"

The hand on his belly moves to his face to remove his glasses. "Merlin, I hate when you do that."

"Do you really?" They are fully facing each other, James' glasses are thrown on the bureau, and now two hands have his waist captive, thumbs rubbing circles on his flesh.

James swallows again. His heart rate has increased tenfold. "Yeah, I do."

"Why?"

"Cause, it makes me – "

Monte moves his hand swiftly to cover James' eyes, tilting his head back till it touches the window.

"Excited?" A soft mouth pressed against his ear, warm breath making his hair stand on end. It sends a vibration straight down to his toes, a spark that makes him shudder.

The mouth is gone. If he were to name his weakness, this would be it.

He doesn't know where he will be touched next. Anticipation makes him hyper aware of every single inch of his body.

Where?

Where?

A very wet kiss on his neck, tongue swirling circles on his oh so sensitive weak point. How did Monte know! He gasps, his mouth remaining open. "Oh, god." his hands fumble to hug Monte and draw him closer, to touch him more, to feel him more.

"Why can't you admit you want this?" Monte whispers against his neck, slowly and torturously licking in firm strokes. James whimpers.

"Admit it."

A semi-shake of his head. No.

Monte tugs his hair, pushing his head back roughly and bites just above his collarbone. Hard. A mark will be there.

"Admit it."

"No." He says it this time, albeit softly.

"No?"

"No."

The hand slides from his head, down his shoulders and holds his hand in place behind his back.

"No?" Monte repeats, coming closer, touching their noses.

"No." James' other hand is now pinned behind his back as well. He can open his eyes now but Monte is a blurry outline without his glasses so it doesn't matter.

"No?" Monte runs his tongue along James' lower lip and bites it softly. A throaty moan and whimper combined escapes James' throat. This is no time to be embarrassed, if he had the capacity he would be though.

"N-No. No. No- unnghh."

Monte rubs his hips against James' and there is no more breath in his body, no more thoughts in his head, only a very small part of his pride is left.

"No. No."

Monte rubs against him again.

"No. No…"

And again.

And then a moment goes by where Monte does nothing and James swallows thickly, missing the contact, the jolts that electrify his body with small spasms of pleasure, the friction. It feels so fucking unreal, better than anything ever felt in his life, but…. No. He's not like this. No.

Why isn't Monte moving? Christ!

But he doesn't want this! He doesn't!

"I don't – " Monte's tongue invades his mouth the same time he crushes their hips together and that's the end.

"Yes…." James concedes. He's lost and he doesn't even care. "Yes…yes."

"Yes?" Monte confirms, smiling against his lips.

"Yes, a thousand fucking yes, Gabriel. Yes. Just-just don't stop."

Monte kisses him again slowly, sliding his hand between them.

The candle goes out.

_Yes._

Yes.

* * *

"Shit. Shit Shit."

"James, honey you okay?"

James was on the ground, dressed only in his boxers, his sheets tangled in his legs and around his torso.

"James?"

"I'm fine mum, okay. Stop knocking." James held a hand to his chest, his heart hammering, mouth dry and a pounding in his head that quite matched pummeling his mother was inflicting on his door. Sweat flecked his face like tiny beads.

"I heard mumbling… you sure?"

"Mum I'm fine!" he shouted. Wasn't she going to go away! Never had he even been so thankful that they respected his privacy when he reached a certain age. This would not be something he'd like her to walk in on.

Sunlight streaked into his bedroom bringing the grim realization with it. He'd just had an erotic dream about a boy. And not just any boy.

He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling hard enough to bring tears to his eyes but then stopped when it reminded him of that particular scene from the dream – which he could recall with stunning clarity.

He would not comment on the tent in his pants, far more impressive than when he had questionable dreams about Lily Evans, nor the fluttering in his stomach that would take a while to subside. Needless to say, he took a shower immediately with the water being the coldest it could be without freezing him alive.

* * *

**XD what do you guys think?**


End file.
